HellAwaitsMe's Profile at Vampire Rave.

I usually hang out here, its my online home :S

http://spaces.msn.com/members/ValveReaper/

Cant think of much more hmm!? ASK :)

Anyway Here Goes Abit About Me

What or who i really am. I truly dont know. All i know is that im different in many ways, im what i call a different breed. And i dont or can never fit in with the humans, not as i want to but i have to in a way so i can survive in their world. Or until i can find my own kind, which i have not yet. And it all seems to be such are rare thing in these times.

I was born a pure blood and i have never been turned. i have the physique and ways of what the humans call a vampire or vampiric. I have fangs and my skin is very white and pale, i love the taste of blood, im very light sensitive, i cant stand any bright lights. Im a kind of day walker but i prefer the night to the day. I stay out of direct sun light and try not to be out in the day if i can help it as its makes me ill and feels so draining and hot to me. And i feel more powerful and excited at night. im also quick and fast at moving and doing things and im silent upon approach. im also very emotional and i have a lot of passion and desire. Even though im always very cold too the touch. I also have a way of sensing things and i have a de ja vu sense were i can see things before they happen which is scary at times because i cant control it i just see things. It can be a good thing at times like a survival mechanism. also i have this way that every one i come into contact with its like i know them or something, like ive seen them before or know them and i don’t like that and especially being around too many minds it confuses me and drains my own life force, but i guess the dark gift effects us all in so many ways.

For many years now i feel like i have been rotting away, in darkness and alone, like Lestat in a way in the end. I have never fed off anything other than myself, which doesn’t give me the new blood and energy that i need to be complete but its better than nothing at all. I do not heal, regenerate or feel as strong as i used too, the uncontrollable thirst is very deep and painful for me. its not the case that i don’t want to feed, believe me i really feel an uncontrollable urge too, but i wont just feed off anyone that comes along and i feel that the person should give themselves too me, but i know i should just take what i need as that is our way, but like i said i am different even too my own kind.

I am alone entity i have my own coven but no members :S just me who walks alone its been that way for so long i know no other way, but i am searching for my own kind to be with, i don’t know maybe i did belong somewhere once i cant remember i just feel like ive been lost for so many centuries now, my body maybe be young but my mind is really old and i feel ive been wondering this earth for so long. Im so different its hard to explain, i like my own company and im a very private individual i have my own sense of humour and ways that keep me going and my love for music, listening and playing guitar, i feel it all so much and that’s another gift ive been granted with. People do say im different and complex and confusing, which i already know of course and i can’t find anyone like me or who wants to be with me or can understand me and my ways. I also wish i could find a bride to be with me. i try to make things happen but it doesn’t work and i give up hope and go back to being alone and by myself, like to rediscover myself and remember what and who i am. As in the end it is just me alone as they all leave me in the end, as im such an extremist and so destructible in my ways, of myself mainly.

I feel so lonely at times and that i feel i cant open up to people or show who i am, maybe though its the humans and i expect something from them which they can never give me or understand. I dont just want their warm, rich blood in my mouth :P its like i feel i want to be accepted and loved, but i know that can never be. But also i dont like the humans and even hate them, alot of them, some are ok, but i dont know its like there ways i dont like, some more than others, again its hard to explain.

I dont ever regret being what and who i am, i was born like this and its my way and there’s this power and life force and energy inside me and something that just wont give up and keeps coming back for more, its unstoppable! Whatever happens i just seem to keep going on.

Maybe one day all this will make sense, im not claiming to be a vampire or anything special, and i don’t need to prove anything to know one, i know im different i know im special in a way and i have gifts and talents and im me. i just wish people could see me as i do.

Member Since:	Jan 13, 2006
Last Login:	Jul 26, 2006
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