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Love you for all of eternity hun!!! x~X 30/03/08 X~x
The following poem is for My Love....

x~*Me*~x I thought I would never find you. I was told wishes never came true. That there was no point in praying, I did not know what to do, or where to go. There was no hope now, obscurity had settled in, there is nothing here expected these needles and pins. I was told fairytales were not really that reality was the only really deal. That everything I believed was just make believe, rubbish, trash, obsolete….. That if I as pushed I would never land on my feet. I didn’t care, you say I’m a freak. Oh well my future is very bleak I was always told my head was a mess, that I would just end up as just one big regret.. But still I wished and prayed for someone to come save me, to save me from my death. An angel, demon, human I didn’t care, all I wanted was someone who really cared. Everything seems so mixed up there to me, it just seemed I would live my whole life down on my knees. Told I would never amount to anything, I was everything I could never be. I gave up all my dreams and fantasies because I was all I ever could be. All I want is someone to take me away from this world, to turn my life around to pick me up when I‘m feeling down. Before this moment my life was blank, your all I need, now I have you to thank. You have taught me to never give in, carry on in what I believed in and to never ever stop dreaming. The amount of times I have wished, the amount of times I have plead, now I have everything I will ever need. Now looking back on what seems like centuries ago, I look back on all of my memories that are old. I remember clicking my heals together, praying at night, wishing upon the stars that everything would be alright Now I have found you I feel complete. Now I know you your all I ever need….. Written By ForeverFallen

I am actually very surprised you have stayed!

I don’t cut...
I fell...
I don’t cut...
My dog bit me....
I would always tell you,
These easy lies.
When you really didn’t know,
I do cut, and cry, and lie.
You don’t know me,
So don’t even try...

***I did not write this poem but
all the other poems on my profile I did write***


If you have carried on reading about me and things I want to say,

I really appreciate that. x x x


Now time for my likes and dislike and other general pieces of information

~WiL Francis is and amazing singer and the lyrics in his song are amazing
~I love THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!!
~Music cause the beautiful thing about it is wen it hits you you feel no pain...
~My two guitars I cant live without then
~I love art
~I really do love to write even though something it hurts inside....
~I also love the rain and Thunder Storms! x x x
~I also like to bite people
~Sitting along side my window in the dead at night listening and watching the rain
~Sitting down under the stars
~Locks and keys, I don't know why I just find them interesting... you can never know what they can unlock...
~Ghosts
~Paranormal stuff
~Blood
~Vampires
~and I love cats!!
~I LOVE my fience Jonny he is the world to me, my night sky anything.
~I do like poetry but I never really feel that I can write poetry. The odd thing about me and poetry is that I never actually intend to write anything like poetry, I can’t just sit there with a pen or pencil and write, what happens to me is everything inside me slowly leak out delicate and heart
filled words and sentences bit by bit, till eventually everything turn black and a rush of hate, hurt and passion rush through my body till there is nothing left, not even a single drop.... nothing.....

The other night I was laying in bed just thinking, I just could not sleep and I didn’t know why. So I grabbed a pen and paper and just wrote, I had no idea what I was going to write and I came out with this piece of writing....


X~*The Mask*~X

Pain is nothing but a mere figment of our imagine.
The people who stand here surrounding me look at me like I’m crazy, but I speak the truth and the truth can never faded away.
Only the strong survive.
Some of us can go throughout the whole day feeling every emotion know to human, when others and go throughout the whole day feeling things never known to man before.
Most of the human race feel complete when they are only half full, they wear the mask, the same mask I and others wear, just to shut out all the lies we hold. But to them we are the average person.
We feel emotions not know to man.
I know you are thinking I’m lying that we are human, yes you are correct, we are human, we can feel but we are different according to them.
I see you understand, you are reading what I writing and you nod and shake your head wondering where this is going. But the truth is that you don’t understand, you think this writing is pointless, that I’m a waste of space, that I’m crazy but I’m not. And if you under stand what I’m saying and this is reaching you in anyway you are pure of heart, you can see both side the glass and you will understand what I mean when I say this.
Some of us can go throughout the whole day feeling every emotion know to human, when others can go throughout the whole day feeling things never known to man before.
To those who don’t understand what those sentences that would read this.
Those who feel things not know to man before, they will think that is true you are outcasts, you don’t deserve to be part of the human race.
We are mistakes.
When those who understand read this.
We are special we can feel this emotion but still survive. They who do not understand think we are beast, creatures, not human but we are. And they will never understand why until they have to wear the mask.


Wow are you still here! that does mean a lot to me....




There is one song that means everything to me its called, “Your guardian angel” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. It always makes me feel safe inside and protected by the one who loves me.
~OTEP
~Adien
~Dir en grey
~Avenged sevenfold
~The red jumpsuit apparatus.
~AFI
~On The Last Day
~Escape The Fate
~Under¨ªATH,
~Theatre of Tragedy
~Senses Fail!!
~Blessthefall
~Cradle Of Filth,
~SoulRelic
~End Of You,
~Zeraphine,
~The Cult,
~Marilyn Manson,
~Three Day Grace!
~Gloom
~Evanescence,
~HIM
~t.A.T.u
~from first to last
~good charlotte,
~stone sour,
~blue October,
~BFS,
~rise against
~panic channel
~the used
~disturbed
~trivium
~funeral for a friend
~BFMV
~papa roach
~Blink 182
~linkin park
~The rasmus
~Iron maiden
~Within temptation
~hawthorne heigh
~and others





If I could choose five songs that explain me and my life they would be:

1. “Scars”by Papa Roach. Because all my friends say that is my song and explains the kinda person I am.
2. “The last song I'm wasting on you” by Evanescence because it basically says everything about a relationship I was in before, that messed up my head badly.
3. “Bother” by Stone Sour because the lyrics say exactly what I feel deep down inside myself....
4. “Your guardian angel” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus because its mine and my boyfriends song.
5. “You” by Evanescence because the lyrics to that song is how I feel about my boyfriend, and if I could sing which I cant! I would sing that song to him.





Every scary film! Mainly Freddy vs Jason, Saw 1, 2 and 3, every Freddy film , White noise, Wrong turn, Dead end, Sin eater, 13th ghost, but the greatest film in the world is....THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Hobbies:

Dance, writing, drawing, painting, Guitar, walking, and being me.

Happiest When:

~ummmmmmm????? I dont know really....I'm trying to keep myself together its
just easier to show no emotion and just to close your eyes and let the world
around you drift by. I'm not secretive, I just don't enjoy sharing my emotions!
~only really when I with my friends
~moshing
~listening to music
~dancing
~ And with Jonny my fience



There is one thing I can not stand in this world and that is child abuse. I HATE people who abuse children I just can’t stand it. I don't understand why you would want to beat and child to the floor still they are lifeless... what the point??
This note is intended for you Daddy…
I know mommy died giving birth to me… but you didn’t have to beat me for it.
I swear Daddy I wish I was never born so that you could just be happy again with
Mommy…
YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HIT ME SO HARD!!! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING…
DADDY STOP IT PLEASE!!!!
But you didn’t listen…… and now look at me
I should be killing you instead of killing myself
But then you wouldn’t hear me…
This way I can at least be with Mommy… I know she’ll love me
Not once have you ever told me you love me…
Not once have you ever told me your sorry…
So you drink your beer… you can FUCKING DROWN IN IT, YOU MEAN BASTARD
DADDY NOO… STOP PLEASE… I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO.. PLEASE DADDY NO STOP IT
You had your chance dad…
You didn’t hear me… now you’ll hear me
But listen Daddy… one thing left to say
I didn’t kill her…*sniff*…why couldn’t you just love me…I loved you anyways.
*sniff* DADDY NOOOOOO

BANG
"Hey dear…welcome to heaven…I have been waiting for you for a very long time…."
"Mommy…your beautiful…even more beautiful then the pictures could ever show
me.."
Thank you dear…your just as beautiful as I could have ever of hoped for…
Mommy where are you going.. no mommy don’t go…
*She wakes up*
YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU KILLED HER.. YOU FUCKING KILLED HER…..YOU LITTLE FUCKING WHORE!!!!!
DADDY NOO *OUCH* DADDY STOP YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN…
DADDY NO STOP IT PLEASE……….
YOU LITTLE SLUT YOUR NOT EVEN WORTH MY TIMES
*sniff*
It was just a dream..*sniff*
…not again more
….. Dear Daddy, I know mommy died giving birth to me……

A message to all of the viewers:
If you know a child being beaten please contact the police…it is a very serious crime…Over 45% of suicides happen due to children trying to get back at there parents for beating them…If you see this happening.. Make the call and save a life.
R.I.P
1990-2006
You will be missed

If you have carried on reading there is one thing I wish to bring to your attention.....


5,388 teenagers are arrested, 4,219 teens get an STD, 3,610 teenagers get assaulted, 2,861 teens drop out of school, 1,377 teenagers become mothers, 1,106 teenage girl get an abortion, 1,000 begin drinking alcohol, 500 teenagers begin using drugs, 420 teenagers are arrested for using drugs, 80 are raped, 6 teenagers commit suicide…. in just 1 day…. ummmm just a little scary isn’t it...


Bother by Stone Sour

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
[Solo: Corey]
Wish I’d died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
And you don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I’ll never live down my deceit


There is one thing I wish to say:

Once in your life, you meet that one person who means everything to you and you would do anything for them.
They understand you when know one else does, they are the one who you can tell anything and no matter what that maybe good or bad they will love you no less. This person is your true love, your guardian angel or whatever you want to call them, never let them go EVER!! It will be the biggest regret you will ever make!


NEVER LET THEM GO EVER!!

Don’t screw up the best thing that ever happened to you just because you’re a little unsure about who you are.


This is where my world ends now....
And I bid you farewell....
Thank you for stay I really appreciate that...
Goodbye and be safe....
I hope we shall meet again if not in my world another time and place....

And she finally gave up, she dropped the fake smile as a tear ran down her cheek she whispered to herself "I cant do this anymore"...