The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Stupid person:
hey how are you doing well i am fine well i bite me

Me:
Grammar and punctuation are a good thing hun. Use it wisely.

Stupid person:
well what are you up to well my friend want's to get to know you can you e mail her it is xxxxxxxxxxxx

Me:
I don't care. Go away.

Stupid person THAT KEEPS TALKING!:
why do you want me to go away well i am trying to have you to e mail my friend where she can have friends on this site well i guess that you don't want to be her friend but any way here is her e mail address xxxxxxxxxxx

Me:
I want you to go away because you are a stupid kid with poor grammar that apparently refused to check my profile before you contacted me. Fuck you, your friend, and everyone you know or have ever met in your life. Now, go away, please. :)

VERY Stupid person STILL TALKING :
well i like your profile well are you still going to be my friend or not

Me:
*rests face in hands*
NO! FUCK! God! How ignorant can one person be?! Take another look at my profile and READ THE FUCKING WARNING FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU! You are stupid, I hate people like you. All you do is try my patience. I thought you would get the message by now, but NO! Now I am going to make it crystal clear! Go away, never talk to me again. I don't like you, your friend, or anyone that you resemble, living or dead, real or fiction.

Insanely stupid person:
Hey my sister just want to be a friend and if you have a fucking problem with that then you can take your mother fucking ass a mother fucking hike and kill your self for not wanting anyone nice as a friend and nothing but a friend and by the way this is (name deleted)'s husband so go fuck your self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(30 minutes pass, and I receive another message)

Insanely stupid person:
well i want you to try to give me an e mail

Me:
Has logical thinking completely left you? You're like a dog that keeps shitting in the house, no matter how many times you shove its face in it. I don't care who you are, husband or not, to me you are nothing more than another stupid person put on this earth to annoy the rest of us. So, in closing, Fuck you, fuck your husband, fuck your mother, fuck your aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, your entire family, fuck your pets, neighbors, coworkers,city, state, friends and anyone you happen to know. Now kindly, fuck off. :)
*rolls up newspaper and hits you on the nose*
Bad dog! Go away!

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Stupid person #2:
fine u crazy ass bitch hope u get gnats in ur belly and u get aids bitch

Me:
Who the fuck are you? What kind of a random ass message is this? Eat shit and die. Dumbass kids like you are what's wrong with the world today. Delete your account and save the server space for someone who actually deserves to be here. Now, get of the computer, its past your bedtime, and your mom is calling you.

Stupid person #2:
shut up and die

Me:
Tell your boyfriend to get his cock out of your ass and shove it in your mouth, so it can be useful and shut you the fuck up. I don't know what your problem is but I hope what ever animal that crawled up your ass kills you from the inside. Go drown yourself in your boyfriends jizz. Remember, cradle the balls. Cradle them.

Stupid person #2:
north,south,east,west spiders web shall bind him best! east,west,north,south hold his limbs and stop his mouth seal his eyes choke his breath rap him round with ropes of death!!!!!!

hope u enjoy ur life will u still have it hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Me:
What the fuck are you, 12? You think some dumb ass little "spell" is gonna fuck with me? Get that Harry Potter shit outta here. God, I guess that you really aren't as smart as you seem are you? Saying that, I didn't think you were intelligent to begin with. Fuck you little emo. Do society a favor. Go listen to your My Chemical Romance and slit your wrists because your parents wont buy you those bondage pants that express your teenage angst, because no one understands you. Screw you, go die. I hope that you walk in front of a bus trying to "cast" one of your little "spells" that you think is so cool. You're fucking with shit you don't even understand kid. Fuck you, the horse you rode in on, the person that feeds the horse, and the horse jizz that you guzzle. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you, and nobody but you.
*Sprays you with a water bottle*
Bad whelp! Bad! Go sit in time out and think about what you did.

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Ok, with this guy, Im not even going to block his name, as everyone already knows he is an idiot and that I dont like him. All he did today, was cement the fact.

alixaryon:
greetniks frend,i kno you don like gramma mistaks but wha can i do??

Me:
Stop typing like an asshole for one.

alixaryon:
but ser i dnot hvae a gunn

Me:
Well then, go one step better.

Pick your computer up and run in front of oncoming traffic.

alixaryon:
hmmm but ser my coputer is not mine

Me:
Then shouldn't you not be using it?

Either way though, its 9am. Aren't your cartoons on? You had better get out of your PJ's before your mom sees you still lounging around.

alixaryon:
Ha ha ha ha,you do have a sense of humor after all,you just pretend to be a tuff guy from a fear of being hurt....

Me:
Quite the opposite actually.

I dont pretend to be anything.

I am what I am, a brutally honest asshole.

As you are what you will always be, a complete retard.

Now, go away, I tire of you.

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Well this isnt a VR retard, but he is a retard nonetheless. He is one of my best friends boyfriends. They live in England and for some reason he thinks Im trying to take her from him. Ive know her for 4 years and, as I said, she is one of my best friends. 2 years ago she came over to see me and we had a great time. Every now and again we let out an "I miss you" and I think he might have caught one. But anyway, he showed me that he was nothing more than a douchebag:

Him:
quit relentlessly hitting on my girlfirend you greasy bastard. Its both sad and pathetic and is getting old real fast
She doesn't like it and neither do i!

Get a life and more importantly get your own girl!

Or is that the problem?

Me:
Ok now,

1. Im not hitting on her, even if I was, you would have nothing to worry about since Im 3000 MILES AWAY IN THE FUCKING US.

2. I have known her for over on 4 years now, and she is one of my best friends. You cant change that.

3. Stop your fucking bitching about me and take care of her, I am nothing to worry about. All I want is for her to be happy and your insecurities are compromising that.

4. I have my own girl, suck a cock.

Fuck you,
Adam

Him:
1. yes you are, your constantly writing weasely comments, expressing how much you miss her etc and you fucking know it!

2.Friends are great! but your not holding up your part of the friendship as your causing problems. If you truely are her friend then you'll stop hitting on her as thats not what friends do. Friends have the other persons interests at heart not your own. (She) also wants you stop it to because its causing problems so

3. as above stop being a dick and they're wont be any reason for me to speak to you again

4. does your girlfirend know your being a greasy bastard? i don't think so!

Me:
Yes friends are great, and If I was doing anything to compromise our friendship then SHE would tell me, instead of you being a overprotective, jealous, insecure asshole and contacting me directly. So, again, Fuck you.

Im not the one being a dick here. Who is the one contacting me, trying to start shit? Fuck you x2.

My girlfriend is not in this, so dont defile her name by spewing it out of your filthy jizzum encrusted maw. Fuck you x3.

Choke on a cock scumbag. I hope you walk in front of a bus.

Dont even bother contacting me back. We will let (Her) herself decide this one. If she says that Im overstepping boundaries then, so be it, youll have to worry about me even less. But, if she says Im ok, then Fuck you x4.

Go write in your spell book shitface. (He claims to be Wiccan, but he is a poser)

Him:
unfortunately claire is too nice to tell you when your overstepping the mark hence why you've gotten these emails. You know what your doing so does (her) so do i,
Again you don't seem to want to accept the fact that nothing is going to happen between you (her words not mine)
I'm not being unreasonable your just being an ass. I couldn't care less about contacting your so called girl all i want is for you to be a fucking decent person for once and stop with the bullshit and problem causing.I Don't fucking care how far away you live if someone was constantly trying it on with your girl how would you feel.
I suggest you choose your words more carefully and think about the impact your having on other people rather than just thinking about your fat self. Again if you were thinking about claire you wouldn't hesitate in taking this on board. Its not like i'm trying to stop you being friends i just want you to act like one for a change and think of her first!

end of discussion.

Me
Youre just running around in circles, talking about shit that Ive already answered in the previous messages, so Im not even going over that part again.

The facts stand:

1. If (She) has a problem, SHE will tell me. Not you.

2. Youre insecure and overprotective.

3. Im right, youre an asshole.

4. Youre the one being a dick about this.

If you wanted to have a civilized discussion about this, you should have approached me in a decent manner instead of being a cuntrag in your first message. If you would have been an actual man, and talked to me properly about this, instead of taking the bitch's path and coming out of nowhere to insult me, then this entire conversation would have been completely different.

Now, kindly fuck off. Im a busy man and I tire of you.

Him: (Here he just regressed into the retard that he has been trying to hide)
AND JUST FOR THE RECORD YOUR NOT A WORRY YOUR AN ANNOYANCE

Me:
And youre an egotistical, self centered, convoluted, absolutely pathetic smudge of shit on the asshole of the universe that dosent deserve to breathe the same air as decent humans.

Go away you rueful excuse for a consciousness.