My name is Brandi, though I prefer Alean. I, like many others, found this site in the countless searches to help me configure who I am. I came here for help and I got it within the first 10 minutes.
There was no judging, no feeling of inferiority. Talk to someone! You're not alone and there is a lot of people that can guide you.
I live in a rural desert in California. I don't necessarily like it here but it's where I was raised and I do have a sense of pride for it. I am Wiccan and I have been practicing for about 5 years. I was born an only child but when I was 9 my parents split up and I learned that I had 4 older brothers, 2 younger sisters and 1 younger brother. I was sent to live with my day to help in the raising of them. Within 6 years, 5 more little boys were born. They had a BIG impact on my life. I grew up much faster than someone normally would and I had already had alot of experiences that only a mother could know about. When my oldet younger brother was 4, he was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, my world flipped upside down. 2 1/2 years
later he died. That was when I was awakened.
I guess I was awakened when I had so much negative energy that it made all my cravings that more prominent. I always knew I had a thing for blood but I didn't realize what it was until I was awakened. It's like a light bulb went on. I made a small cut on my arm and tried it. I haven't been able to focus with that craving since. My empathic feelings had gotten much stronger also. I was able to imagine peoples feelings more vividly and got somewhat of a charge from being around people who were either very excited or very upset.
It has been almost 4 years this month that I have been searching for an answer of what was wrong with me. I've known that I was both an empathic vampire and a sanguinarian but I didn't know how to acquire it into my life where it isn't really accepted.
My search is still ongoing and I'm sure it always will.
