Zach gets pulled over....23:53 Sep 06 2011
Times Read: 471
I was out driving about, as I often do... I was driving down a freeway, and exited... All done within the speed limit, using proper turn signals, etc... Went through a light (That was green) when all of a sudden a cop flies in out of nowhere (The U-turn, actually) and pulls me over.
As he walks up, I get out my insurance and license.. Hand them over, and get a weird look from the cop.
Cop: "Have you ever been arrested?"
Me: "No sir."
Cop: "Please step out of the car."
I comply.
Cop: "Have you been smoking weed?"
Me: "No sir, why?"
Cop: "Your car smells like weed. Are you sure you haven't been arrested? At all? Have any warrants, tickets, or anything?"
Me: "Not that I know of, no... Just a citation for my tabs."
Cop: "Please step by my car."
We walk over to his car, and he looks down at my hands.
Cop: *A bit aggressively* "What do you have in your pocket?!"
Me: "My keys, wallet, and phone."
Cop: "Anything else?!"
Me: "No sir."
Cop: "THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP HOLDING YOUR HANDS CLOSE TO YOUR POCKET?!"
Me: *Looking down at my arms* "Uh.. Because that's how my arms hang. Close to my body."
Cop: *Giving me an annoyed look over my smartassedness (Which I need to learn better control of)* "Do you have any drug paraphernalia in your pockets?"
Me: "No sir."
Cop: *Brushes the large lump that is my wallet and phone* "WHAT IS THAT?!"
Me: *Getting a bit aggravated* "My phone and wallet, sir."
The cop kinda stared at me for a minute, then told me to stand by the hood of his cruiser while he looked at my information on his computer... When my background came back clean ('Cuz I'm too lazy to actually commit any crimes) he came back over:
Cop: "Are you sure you don't have any paraphernalia in your car? No pipes, bags? Pills, powders?
Me: "No sir, just two empty flasks that were drank at a party."
Cop: *Pauses for a second* "Were I to find something in your car, who would it belong to?"
Me: *I actually got a bit confused by that question* "Uh... Mine, I guess."
Cop: "Good, because I want you to know who would be in ownership wh-if I find something. (He actually started to say 'when,' but took the legal smart move and said 'if.')
Me: "Uh, okay."
The cop then proceeded to search my car (Without asking, I might add... Which I believe is illegal).. He would search each section of my car (e.g.: each seat and foot space) and ask me questions.
Cop: "So if you don't smoke weed, who does?"
Me: "I don't know, sir."
Cop: "Did you let any of your friends smoke in your car?"
Me: "Just cigarettes."
Cop: *Pulls out my CD case and sticks his nose deep inside it* "Do any of your friends smoke weed?"
Me: "Not that I know of, no."
This went on for a bit, and eventually he gave up and walked back over to me, looking angry, as well as perplexed.
Cop: *Obviously looking at my eyes to see if I'm lying* "So... You are sure you haven't been arrested?"
Me: "No sir."
Cop: "Well... You don't look like you smoke weed... But your car smells like weed... Are you sure you don't know anyone who smokes weed?"
Me: "No sir."
Cop: "Then why does your car smell like weed? Anything you can think of?"
Me: "Uh... Well, I went out with a girl on Wednesday, and-"
Cop: *Interrupting me* "DOES SHE SMOKE WEED?!"
Me: "Uh, no, not that I know of... She may have smoked at the club we were at, but I didn't notice anything."
Cop: "Er..Uh, um.. Alright, open your trunk."
I open the trunk, and all I really had back there was an (admittedly) shifty looking brown box.
Cop: "What is in the box?"
Me: "Uh... Honestly, I'm not entirely sure... My grandma gave it to me.. It's a skillet or something... Would you like me to open it?"
Cop: *Contemplating it* "Er, um... No, that's okay."
He awkwardly hands me my insurance and ID... And tries one more time.
Cop: "So... You sure you've never been arrested?" *It started to sound like a plea*
Me: "No sir."
Cop: *Visibly pissed off* "A-Alright, you can go, drive safe."
I never thought I'd see a cop get visibly angry when the person he pulled over DIDN'T have drugs or contraband in their car.
Or that I'd be awkwardly profiled as someone who didn't smoke weed. I don't smoke it, it just seems like a reverse profile... Hopefully I also look like someone who doesn't do cocaine, heroin, or third-world child prostitutes.
COMMENTS
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Requiem
00:20 Sep 07 2011
o.O "Hopefully I also look like someone who doesn't do cocaine, heroin, or third-world child prostitutes." ... Yeah, I think you have that one nailed, too. WAIT WAIT that sounds bad. ... Hahah! Puns rock. Heh.
I am glad all you got out of this mess was a delay and a funny (well, eventually funny for ya) story. :)
zmoreland04
00:43 Sep 07 2011
Oh yeah, a lot of funny events happen to me... Or I just find the humor in them... One of the two.