yeah... :(
So I thought things were starting to look up. Adam got his job back in Bis, I had a few interviews I thought went ok, and we were supposed to be getting a very cheap trailer to live in.
My hopes were crushed tonight after talking to Adam.
Turns out the trailer is more then we can afford. He "claims" he is going to get the money.... Right... I don't believe anything anymore.
Im moving this weekend or Monday regardless. I'll just pack my shit and go... I don't even care where anymore, fuck it I'll live in cardboard box if I have to...
Im feeling very sad now.
Cherish
I don't want to cry anymore. My life is crumbling to pieces. I don't know what to do. I've lost so much already, and now I am losing my sanity and my will to even go on.
I live such a pathetic worthless life, for starters I am 26 and not very happily married. I think deep down inside my husband despises everything I am. But I feel like everyone hates me, and this desire to be accepted. I am emotionally cluster fucked, I see a therapist and a psychiatrist, I take meds. I have been taking anti deppressants since I was 18. Im a pill popper but I can only afford OTC pain relievers, and I only do it when I am really depressed or stressed out. I cry often...
Especially as of lately.
I lost my part time job for stupid reasons, I got kicked out of my house, I found out I am in premenopause and will never be able to have children, I've lost money that I need, my husband is living an hour away so we can try to start over, I'm living with a friend and I feel like an intruder, my car has been keyed and the brakes were tampered with, I am being forced to quit my FT job so I can move....
I have to start over again.
Is this shit ever gonna end?
I wanna make it end.
Im gonna make it end.
Clinical vampirism
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Renfield's syndrome, also called simply Renfield syndrome and traditionally known as clinical vampirism [1] [2] [3], though not currently categorized in the DSM-IV, is a mental disorder used to describe an obsession to drink blood. [4] The term was first coined by Richard Noll and is named after Dracula's insect-eating assistant, Renfield, in the novel by Bram Stoker. [2] [5] [6] The term has been used in both psychiatric and fictional literature, as well as on television, where it was briefly mentioned in an episode of CSI titled "Committed" (Season 5, Episode 21). [7] [2]
People who suffer from this condition are primarily male. The craving for blood arises from the idea that it conveys life-enhancing powers. According to Noll, the condition starts with a key event in childhood that causes the experience of blood injury or the ingestion of blood to be exciting. After puberty, the excitement is experienced as sexual arousal. Throughout adolescence and adulthood, blood, its presence, and its consumption can also stimulate a sense of power and control. Noll explains that Renfield's syndrome begins with autovampirism and then progresses to the consumption of the blood of other creatures. [2]
The usefulness of this diagnostic label remains in question. Very few cases of the syndrome have been described, and the published reports that do exist refer to what has been proposed as Renfield's syndrome through the use of official psychiatric diagnostic categories such as schizophrenia or as a variety of paraphilia. A number of murderers have performed seemingly vampiric rituals upon their victims. Serial killers Peter Kürten and Richard Trenton Chase were both called "vampires" in the tabloids after they were discovered drinking the blood of the people they murdered. Similarly, in 1932, an unsolved murder case in Stockholm, Sweden was nicknamed the "Vampire murder", due to the circumstances of the victim’s death.[8].
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COMMENTS
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Nepherus
06:40 Jul 26 2009
Don't worry you will find better. I promise.