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It creeps into my mind

It takes over my soul.

I never know when it's going to hit next...

I just want this over...

I can't do this anymore...

Cry every day...

I'd do anything,

Just to make this go away.

Why do I feel so worthless...

Like I'm drifting through life,

With absolutely no meaning...

I cry to unreal gods,

Someone higher to help me.

To make me feel sane again...

To make me feel...

Happy...

Just for a single moment.

I'd like to truly smile...

Not put on a show

To actually BE cheerful.

I've been this way for so long...

I don't know if it will ever leave me...

But I live my day, every day...

Pretending to be what I'm not...

Those who truly know me,

Know the demons that lurk within...

Know the darkness that seeps into my veins.

Know the insanity that takes over my mind...

Know the true, real me.

I started writing a poem for you,

To show you how I felt...

But the words wouldn't come to me.

So I gave up...



I wanted to tell you,

what you really meant to me.

But I couldn't express it right...

So I didn't speak...



I wanted you to know...

How much I really cared.

Now it is too late...

You are no longer there.



I didn't mean to hurt you,

To cause you so much grief.

I'd do anything to take it back.

But you gave up.



I tore the poem in half...

And started anew...

Now I have this work you see..

The reason being you.



Now you understand...

I couldn't start from the beggining

Because there really is none.

There is only, The end.





4/10/06

Cherish S.