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Sorry for the length, I just haven't had an outlet for any of this in a while.



So my life has been pretty hectic these past couple months. I found out that my 5 year old dog, who's still just a puppy to me, has cancer. Now its just a matter of time before he's off to puppy heaven. I finally finished my senior project, glad that's over. I've had so much damn drama its unbearable. And my dad can't shut his effing mouth. He bitches about everything and yells and screams at me when its not even my fault. My mom still doesn't see him for the self centered gambling addicted short tempered ass that he really is. She wont accept the fact that he's verbally, mentally, and on occasion physically abusive. She refuses to let me make my own decision to move out on my own. She said to me one day when I told her i was planning on moving out, "No, I will not let you run away from this family like your brother did." What she needs to realize is that we're not running away. My brother left because my dad is so difficult to live with. He's a military guy, so go figure. What he doesn't see is that you can't come into a family with a ten and sixteen year old that hasn't had a father figure for all those years and expect to be accepted right away. My brother was the sixteen year old so he obviously was going to rebel no matter what because this strange man that is with our mother is not our father just because our mom has the same last name as him and because he lives with us.

My mom still thinks of me as her little girl. She hardly lets me have friends, doesn't want me having a boyfriend, I'm not allowed to have a phone or use the internet... So I gave up. My boyfriend, that I forced her to aknowledge, bought me my cell phone. I told her straight up, I have accounts on the internet, deal with it. I'm not twelve years old anymore. I will be her daughter forever but I can't stay her baby girl forever.

My dad and I do not get along. At all. Every conversation between us is always a fight. I can't continue to subject myself to the abuse he puts me through and my mom will finally see that he's the problem in this household, not her children. My brother no longer speaks to my mom. I'm not sure if I plan on speaking to her after I leave this coming January. She'll finally see that this "man" she married, has driven away her children and alienated her from everything and everyone she had before he came along.

COMMENTS

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Maell
18:20 Dec 28 2009

I know parents can be difficult, but your mom loves you very much. She just wants something better for you. I know she isn't going about it the right way, but most parents don't the first few tries.



I hope things get better for you. In time, they will. Do what you have to do to make you happy and don't look back once you go forward.



Best wishes.

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