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3 entries this month
Hell and Damnation
13:45 Jan 30 2009
Times Read: 670
I am completely beside myself. I was an idiot and cannot seem to get over it. Few who know me know what I am talking about because of all the bs and secrecy that was insisted upon by a "special friend and mentor". Seems to me I just need to choose my friends and loved ones more wisely but how do I do that? I have been proven time and again that no one is trustworthy and that my time is wasted just taking time to make friends. Might as well become a hermit. Too bad I am too much of a social butterfly. I am just one of those people that perpetually help others, that fall for the sob stories and poor me lines, that dont even know how to say no when there is no more of me left to give. It has naturally bitten me in the ass once again and I cant even talk about it because the shame is too great and my heart too broken. When will I learn that I can't fix the world and that no one is whom they appear to be?? Damn!! Men!!
Wow
06:23 Jan 29 2009
Times Read: 675
Ok, so maybe I posted my last entry a little too early. I was poking around, checking out what had changed and what hadn't since I had been gone, and came up with a HUGE shocker. The last link I had with someone is gone! I never thought I could drop from being so so to bawling so damn fast! I know I can manage to screw things up fairly well, and did, but I always thought I would be able to speak to them one last time, and knowing I can't..omg. omg. omg. I don't know what to do now...they were one of the two reasons I came back to this site..now what???? Excuse me..I need a drink..or two..or ten..
Update
06:07 Jan 29 2009
Times Read: 677
Wow, things sure have changed in my life and finally getting on here; where I can express myself; is feeling pretty great right now. I was engaged for about half a second and then realized what I was doing, and that the man wasn't the one I truly loved. Of course by doing that I totally blew it with Mr. Right. Oh well, live and learn and dream of better days I guess. Moved into town, a country gal in the city..can we say culture shock? LOL got moved in the nick of time though cause we just got over 5 inches of snow and I am completely incapable of driving in this mess. Still working and battling for rights for my kids (those who know know and those who dont dont need to). Nothing much changes for me I guess. Still working and dreaming of southern living in a yankee town. Goin out with the gals and bs'ing with the truckers who come into work bout the only fun I have these days. Keep waiting for the phone to ring but Ed McMahon apparently lost my number haha..oh well..who needs to be rich to be happy?
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