Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
14 entries this month
Christmas
00:14 Dec 27 2007
Times Read: 711
So I have decided to cancel Christmas for the next several years. On top of getting the stomach flu, both of the boys got it. I really need to stop teaching my kids to share! Gwennie got it the other day and we just seem to be passing it back and forth around here. Naturally all of this seems to have put a damper on the holiday spirit, but, we were together, me and my kids, and that is all I could possibly ask for. I have no worries as long as I can keep us together.
My Coven03:10 Dec 24 2007
Times Read: 718
My coven has recently given me gifts for being such a great Coven Mistress. LOL...I could have done without the hoopla but I love them all so much..they are my dearest family. I could do no less than show off such gifts here. Where all can see them.
One Flaw In Women14:47 Dec 22 2007
Times Read: 725
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
But they hold happiness, love and joy
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
And laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take 'no' for an answer
When they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
And cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
A birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
Yet they are strong when they
Think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
Can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
To show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
Makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
Family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
And everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Just Today
21:46 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 732
I feel like my little yahoo emoticon, you know, the crying one. I just can't figure out if I am crying tears of sorrow or joy. I have never had such a roller coaster day. The fact that I have to keep it all in and try to channel it into other aspects of life is going to be the challenge to say the least.
Ok, lets try to explain the babbling I just did. I almost lost control today. I almost went off on someone who absolutely could handle it, but, silly me, I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I know that this person wants to help me through and see me safe and whole for a change, but I am not so sure that I am going to like where it leads. Yes, I know that I may end up (hell, I know I will) happier and healthier for it. That is not the point. I don't do anything unless I know how the outcome is going to be. I don't take a step unless I know where my foot is going to land. This stepping off into unknown territory, the undiscovered country if you will, scares me. I know I will do it, eventually. The time will come when I will not want to hold back. Until then I will try to maintain control. The timing could not be worse to say the least. I am going to be trapped in my house for two weeks with my nightmare and yet have to deal with this too. I have he who is my guide and two very good friends to see me through this next few days, next couple of weeks. For that I am eternally grateful.
Dirt Roads
04:37 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 737
I live about 1/4 mile down a dirt road..and I know what it is like. Now..I hope you will too. The differences mean a whole world..and one I am happy to share with all who know me..and know to read my thoughts.
What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved. There's not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency, that wouldn't be remedied if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads build character. People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride. That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog. We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along. There was less crime in our streets before they were paved. Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun. And there were no drive by shootings. Our values were better when our roads were worse! People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust and bust your windshield with rocks. Dirt Roads taught patience. Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your milk. For your mail, you walked to the mail box. What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rides on Daddy's shoulders...and you learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody. At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap. Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole. At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini. At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out. Usually you got a dollar ... always you got a new friend at the end of a Dirt Road.
Author Unknown
Just Another Day In My Life
22:45 Dec 19 2007
Times Read: 742
Sometimes I feel like I am the only person on the planet who is happy. I sit and cry for all of my friends who are having hardships and yet still feel like I am floating on the inside. I feel guilty for feeling so happy sometimes, but for the most part I don't care. I finally have a light in my life that no one can put out and I am going to follow that light to the end of days. I am going to trust my instincts and just go with the flow for a change. I know I am rambling, I just don't care. I am that happy. I am even contemplating listening to my soul and showing the darker part of myself to him. That is a scary concept to me. I have never taken such a leap of faith before but I feel that with him, I will be safe. I feel that he would be the one person to understand me completely and be able to handle me just as completely. I trust him with everything else, I should trust him with this too, right?
A Friends Wisdom07:12 Dec 18 2007
Times Read: 753
I have this friend here on VR. I met her back in September and have thanked my stars every day that she is there with her wisdom and discretion. I found myself bored tonight and began rereading some of the things in her journal. It brought me right back to this segment that always seems to make me cry. I heed this woman's advice on everything else..and I am trying to do it here too. Lady Chordewa's Love Life Rules I have found that everything I shouldn't do..I always do. Everything I should..I don't. While I gave up on love a long time ago I seem to alway attract the sort who, while love me, don't. While care for me, don't even understand me. I have tried to break that cycle and while I think I may have done it..I will never be sure. I do want everyone who reads this though to know..that is one hell of a smart lady and I love her as my sister for all she has taught me. I just hope one day..to be of some benefit to her as she has been of the greatest benefit to me.
Cloud Nine
07:14 Dec 17 2007
Times Read: 757
I don't know what I have done to deserve such happiness but I am going to accept it and move on. The past two days have brought nothing but pure sunshine and joy into my life and there is nothing I can do to stop it. And yes, being the doubting Thomas I am, I tried to stop it. I tried to be reasonable and logical and everything a #@ year old mother to four children should be. Screw it. I want to be happy. I want to have it all. I want my smile to light a room and a heart for a change instead of it being a frown bringing down the house. I have a wonderful coven that is becoming a great family. I have the best best friend in the world. I have four intelligent and semi well behaved children. I think I have done enough for others. I want to do this just for me. I want to walk by faith and not by sight. *Takes a deep breath* Ok here I go, but, if I get burned this time, I will probably shut down completely.
Cancer07:10 Dec 16 2007
Times Read: 761
The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac. It can range from the timid, dull, shy and withdrawn to the most brilliant, and famous Cancerians are to be found through the whole range of human activity. It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family. `Nest like' is an appropriate adjective for the Cancerian home, for its inhabitants tend to favor the dark, mysterious but comfortable type of house which has something of the air of a den about it, a place which belongs to the family rather than existing as a showcase to impress visitors.
That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love. They are able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their imaginations. They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal. They are appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite them. They may themselves possess considerable literary, artistic or oratorical talent. Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact. Interestingly - because they give the impression of being down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average. If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism. A job in which they can express this, and in which they can do well, would be as a leader in a youth organization.
In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector. Both the
Cancerian man and woman love unreservedly, giving much and asking little in return - in fact, one of the most important lessons they have to learn is how to receive gracefully. They are too easily influenced by those they love and admire, and swayed by the emotion of the moment. They are also loyal friends, the negative side of their faithfulness being clannishness, the narrow patriotism of "my country right or wrong"; and closing ranks in suspicion and coldness toward outsiders.
Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.
The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered. They can be tactless and difficult yet, because they are normally ambitious, they will curry favor by floating with majority opinions, outlooks and fashions of the day. As a result they often change their opinions and loyalties and, indeed, their occupations, and lack stability. They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters. Their romanticism in another sense make them ardent supporters of causes, for example a football team with whose heroes they can identify in a world of fantasy.
Cancer
I Had A Thought
18:39 Dec 14 2007
Times Read: 771
There have been many things said and done amongst the hierarchy of VR lately that have bothered me. Being new to all this I have kept my head down and my ears open. I find that the best way to learn is just to listen, but what I am hearing disturbs me. Honesty and Loyalty are very important to me and I find that some things that have been going on upset me to no end. I have thought of what I would do if placed in a similar situation. I can’t in good conscious deal with those who can’t deal honestly with others. I have spoken to my ACM about this and since we are in almost constant contact and agree about everything we also agree on this as well. Those who try to come to him about something will find they are also speaking to me and vice versa. We run this coven as a team and anyone will find that all decisions are made jointly and for the benefit of the whole of the coven. If you were to hear my ACM say “Well Psy says” that is because he is probably on the phone talking to me at that moment or we have discussed it previously. No one will be able to tell him or I that “she/he said” because when we make decisions we inform the other if we have not previously discussed it. That is my stand on things and will not be disputed. I am putting this here for those who need/want to know, others will find out the hard way.
A Great Honor
04:09 Dec 13 2007
Times Read: 780
I was given a great honor this week and in all the mayhem of starting my own coven I almost forgot to write about it. My old coven, Mysticfalls of Wisdom, placed me on a page of honor. They created a memorial page and I am one of those being honored on it. I find this odd though, since I am the one who was honored to have been a part of this wonderful and gracious family.
My First Week
15:38 Dec 12 2007
Times Read: 786
Well my coven has been up and running a whole week now. I am proud of what we are becoming, a true family. Few know of the hassles that come with this task and I intend to make sure that my new and growing family knows exactly how much I appreciate and love them all. They are what keeps me going in this task.
There is only one fly in the ointment so to speak. The envious man who seems to be a constant thorn in my side is at it once again, trying to turn friends against me. Blackmail and threats didn't work so he is trying this tact now. I have no fears however since my true friends know me for who I truly am. He can no longer get to me so he is trying to remove my support system. He has threatened to make sure my coven crumbles around my ears. Those who believe him I feel sorry for, for they obviously don't know me. They don't realize that if I claim you as family, you are family for life, you are a friend no matter how you feel about me. I am even still a friend to him, trying to protect him, this time...from himself.
First Day On The Job.
06:42 Dec 07 2007
Times Read: 818
What a freakin night. Ever had one of those days that you would wish would just end? I sure as hell did. I simply asked a friend if he would mind learning how to do the job I wanted him to do. I wanted him to be my ACM. He needed to learn how first though, needed to respect the fact that as one who has held every job in a coven at one point or another I knew what I was talking about. Instead, he berated me, called me foul names, threatened my family. I just wanted to keep him safe from the vultures of VR..those that would take advantage of a "newbie acm". I know they would..they tried to do it to me. He completely lost his cool though and forced me to even kick him from the coven. I could not even tolerate his presence harassing my members. I considered this man to be my best friend and he decided to try blackmailing me when he didn't get his way with personal information I shared with him thinking that I had his trust, his friendship. I have the same kind of information on him but would never do something so low, so crass, and so juvenile. It is like running to tell mommy when you don't get your way. Trust me! Mommy doesn't care! I have never been one to tolerate drama and I am not about to start now. *Shrugs* Oh well. I can't help everyone. Even those who speak to me like this will have my friendship..when they apologize. I am a nice person. I really am...to those who are nice to me.
u fucking bitch
i want out now
i will spread so much shit around vr if i dont get out
u are a bitch
On 05:03:55 Dec 07 2007 xPsychex wrote:
interesting as I simply wanted to learn your job...so you didn't make a fool or yourself or my coven....and you start giving me ultimatiums
shows me that you were after the power....nothing else
Naturally his name has been removed to protect him. This is just part of the vile words he messaged me before I was forced to block him. I have found that a day or two cooling off period is best for those who act this young. They tend to forget why they were mad in the first place. From the looks of this message he also appears to have forgot that VR is not the real world and those of us who do live in the real world have no need for such internet drama.
What A Morning
16:20 Dec 01 2007
Times Read: 826
I am not amused. I once gave a gift to someone I cared about..a long time ago..and that person took that gift and plastered it for the world to see. I was betrayed and used to upset me. It worked. I am livid pissed. Those who did this have taken and used something to upset me..to make me cry. It didn’t work. It pissed me off and I am out for blood. I have true friends who know me better than to believe I would be like that, who knows my heart is good, pure. I am fucking tired of the drama and bullshit. I am not putting up with them any more and I have made sure everyone knows them for the troublemaking, drama causing, good for nothing, pain in the ass, pieces of shit they are. For those of you who were sent to this site, I cannot and will not apologize. I didn’t do this and I refuse to have anyone think I did. If you want to talk to me instead of at me, you will find that I am human and I make mistakes. Difference is, I learn from mine. Truthfully, FUCK ALL OF YOU if you think I am this or that, just because someone tells you so. If you think I did something wrong....COME TO ME…DEAL WITH ME!!
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