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And you can bring me to my knees...Again

All the times when I could beg you please....In vain

All the times when I felt insecure....For you

And I leave my burdens at the door



But I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cos inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you



All the times that I felt like this won't end

Was from you

And I taste what I could never have

Its from you

All the times that I've tried

My intentions, full of pride

But I waste more time than anyone



But I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cos inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you



All the times that I've cried

All this wasted, it's all inside

And I feel, all this pain

I stuffed it down, it's back again

And I lie, here in bed

All alone, I can't mend

But I feel, tomorrow will be okay



But I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cos inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you





I feel like it just wont end.

I really do, even though i have a boyfriend and i am happy, i feel like there's no one out there for me, soulmate wise...I dont think anyone can handle me, the real me i think if someone seen me for the monster that i really am they'd leave me..and that eats me alive every single day, i have a problem with getting close to people, it scares me more then anything in the world ( well besides losing Aaliyah of corse, if i were to lose aaliyah id be fearless, I wouldnt be here, or anywhere.) Nothing i do is ever right, the people around me are always pointing out my flaws, the bad, never any good so when i do work on my 'problems' there's no pay off, by the time ive 'fixed it' they have more negative things to tell me, So whats the point? I know that im a very jealous person, i look at things in a very funny way that im sure no one will ever be able to understand, I strongly beleive that whenever you love someone they become your everything, and no one else can compair, i beleive in your eyes they become the most beautiful/handsome person you've ever laid eyes on, i beleive his because ive lived it. Im not saying that other people arent still attractive, because they are, Im just saying no one else comepairs. thats a flaw i know this, i have a temper i know that too, im trying to work on it and im trying to curb my attitude, i cant help it im not a GIRLY GIRL i never have been never will be, im not dainty i cuss like a fucking sailor and that makes people think im mad when im speaking to them? and thats my fault i know, everythings my fault and ill fix it im trying so hard to fit in and be 'Normal' to some one, i want to be someone's everything, thats all ive ever wanted, i want someone to be proud of me, No matter what, Yeah i got pregnant at fifteen, BIG FUCKING DEAL! i did it for myself, everything happends for a reason, and yeah im only 17 now, and im not in school, and i dont have a license, BUT IF MY DAUGHTER WASNT HERE ID BE DEAD! she's saved me in so many ways! and for that i will never EVER leave her, EVER no matter what, ill stick by her side like i wish my mother would have done for me, and even thoug i perfer it not be, she'll be just like me with no father,





i feel like im just ranting on and on about nothing.

So ill stop.





i think Aaliyahs waking up anyways.



xo0x