The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

my brain is a million pieces of thread all knoted up by the time i find one end i have already given up.i can't think anything completly through and i can't get my feeling completly out.the only good thing is when you try to figure me out you don't know where to start

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?

A.) So men can be open minded.



Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?

A.) 68 because at 69 you eat it.



Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.



Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!



Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...

A.) "Is it in?"



Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the

Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.



Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?

A.) One of his fingers is clean.



Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?

A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.



Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?

A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

COMMENTS

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estherofhell
10:43 Apr 26 2008

lmfao hilarious jokes lmfao

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3xBladex3
12:57 Apr 26 2008

nice! lol

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sexykittyboy
06:13 Apr 28 2008

lol i love this

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well It is 8:11 am and I haven't slept since 2 p.m. yesterday.I am bored listening to Rob Zombie.I am 22 weeks pregnant.im tired of people calling me prego do i look like a can of spagatii sauce to you?im not suppose to be getting morning sickness anymore which is atually all day sickness but I still am getting sick. the baby is affecting my aneimea badly everytime I sit up or bend over and stand back up I start to get really dizzy.I almost passed out standing in line for court my site went away and I got hot and I felt as if my head was about to exsplode.I also am haveing big problems with the pregnancy because of my heart murmer my heart skips a beat often.but the worse thing about this so far is I think I might end up having a early birth because I am showing some side affects to that also.I don't want my child hurt I want it to be healthy.We still have yet to find out of its gender I will know very soon though.Ed and I have came up with name's though. if it's a girl her name shall be Adreina,and if it is a boy his name will be Edan.

this child is to be born on august 28th 2008 which is strange because that will be its great grandmas b-day just as i was born on my great grandmothers B-day.many things are working against this child being brought into this world but i have and will continue to do my best to bring it here