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here i go again, tried but i fuck things up...*sighs* i dont know what else to do or even how to act sometimes..scared to say anything for i may say the wrong thing and all hell breaks loose...i hate bi polar cause i say shit without thinking but sometimes it is too late..i dont know what else to do...i wont give up but yet i feel helpless..i am sorry, all i can say...

I have Bi Polar and no I am not using that as an excuse for My actions..Even though it is a big part of it, I hate having it..Moods suck and I tend to run the Ones i love off...I dont mean too but I do..I hate it, I cant work cause Doc doesnt want me in the public much, I may go off and really hurt a stupid asstard..I want to be able to do normal things but I cant..I can be happy one sec and blink my eyes and i am sad and crying..I have no clue on why, it is always nice to have One who suffers same as Me to talk too...My 7 yr old grandson Jakob suffers from depression and I can see it more and more in him and yes I think he is bi polar as well, he does suffer from ADHD so thats a big part..I am a loner and so is he..We tend to stick by Our-selves, me i feel safer that way..Doesnt know how it makes him feel...I do know i wish i didnt suffer from it, it is a dreaded hateful illness, some just dont understand..they want to hide it and all..I am me, cindy, winter whichever one you wish to call me..I just had to rant on here a bit...

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darkrayven39
04:08 Jul 29 2009

I remember being your Grandson's age and being depressed. I knew I was different. I tend to have very tiny circles of friends. I don't invite people into my home. However, somehow I learned that I have to work, because my family disowned me and I have to support myself. I will soon be 39 and sometimes I wonder how I even made it. I was diagnosed as being Bi-polar and also as having Borderline Personality Disorder. The thing is you have to go on rant. If you don't you find yourself being trapped. The only person who understands is you. People are too quick to judge and think that you are nuts and talk behind your back. But I always make sure I have the last laugh. I refuse to let anyone tell me what I am. Survival is my instinct that keeps me alive, (and a few meds)

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Sinora
13:46 Jul 29 2009

*Hugs*.

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Last I heard America was still a free country and ppl could say what they feel, but thinks some doesnt understand the FREE....It isnt fair for anyone to label another or not label them..Doesnt matter if You are a Mother of 2 or even 10, or if You arent goth, I am a Grandma of 2 and I would damn sure go to a club to meet friends or future friends on vr...Who gives a shit what you are or what You arent...I am ME and doesnt give a rats ass who likes me or not...I am old enough to state my opinion and I dont care who likes it..Dont read it nor bothering replying to what I said..I am 41 and can and will say and do as I please..Block me I dont care

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imagesinwords
19:17 Jul 27 2009

True, unless you are talking about the internet... which is not America, but instead the world wide web. And if you are on someone's personal website- then you follow their rules and America's constitution doesn't apply.

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winterdarkmoon
19:23 Jul 27 2009

This is true but I do have respect for All..I just let certain things get to me and after all You said it is world wide web so I respect that as well

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I am also on MyYearbook and therefore has alot of ppl on my yahoo and this was massed out to all of us on yb..lmao..enjoy





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