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I'm crying as I write this.

Did I mean this to happen?

This contraption.

This love?

I can't hide my feelings for you Sean.

I know Dad wants me.

I know you want me.

I'm just...

I don't know.

Confused?



I'm crying as I write this entry.

Wait till some one reads this in a century.

I'll still be alive some how.

Probably feeling like a cow.



I love you Sean and that's the truth.

I love you Sean and I need you.

I love you Sean and I want you.

Love kills doesn't it?



I feel as if it's the end for us.

And we'll never see or touch again.

Maybe I'll see you on a plane or bus.



I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want you to feel pain.

I don't want to cause you misery.

Because I feel like I am.



I need to cry more.

I want to cut more.

I want to die more.



I love you so much Sean.

I never meant to hurt you.