THIS JOURNAL IS ON 82 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTSHonor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
1 entry this month
Judging me00:29 Sep 20 2009
Times Read: 589
Tonight, it was only my mother and I for dinner. At the end, a woman from our church called.
She questioned me why I hadn't been to church lately.
I told her I was really busy- which isnt a lie.
When I hung up, I started getting pissy for the church stalking me. I told my mother that I was sick and tired of them.
She asked me why I wouldnt go, and I told her that I just didnt believe in the church. That I wasnt sure that this was the way God would want us to worship.
She asked me- "So, what religion are you?"
I told her I was an atheist for now.
And from that point on, she wouldnt even look me in the eyes.
Even she judges me! Not a surprise..
I dont belong here. I found that out a while ago. Why do I have to be like this?
I'm not free- im miserable here. I just want to leave, Damnit!
Fuck them all. They're lying to me, anyways.
I NEED to get out of here.
Just leave. And never look back.
I'm a disappointment to them, anyways. They prolly wouldnt even fucking miss me.
You can see it in their blank eyes- both of them.
I just want to get out. Thats all I want right now. To be with Him, and live happy. free.
I know it will happen someday.
But why do I need to waite?!
NEW MEMBERS
Whelp (1)
19:33 - December 11 2024
Parasite (3)
00:33 - December 09 2024
Whelp (1)
14:58 - December 07 2024
REAL VAMPIRES LOVE VAMPIRE RAVE
Vampire Rave is a member of
Page generated in 0.0559 seconds.
COMMENTS
-
typeopositive
23:24 Sep 20 2009
no matter where you go you will be judged.church people are the worst . i understand this the most bc it happens to me all the time. you just have to realize that if they love you they will accept you for who you are and not ask you to change in any way.
(did you say athiest for a shock factor?) i know you used believe in God,
they wont look you in the eyes bc they dont know what to say, they want you to be,do,act the way they want you to.
just bide your time, it wont be long til you can leave and go and do all the things you want to do.
dont wish away your childhood, enjoy not having to pay for anything - trust me
i love you, and im here any time,Sis
LordWolf
23:40 Sep 20 2009
type o positive said
"just bide your time, it wont be long til you can leave and go and do all the things you want to do.
dont wish away your childhood, enjoy not having to pay for anything - trust me"
she shows wisdom here. each day one can learn something, and you should learn as much as possible right now. the "him" you refer to i bet would want you to finish high school and not burn bridges.
whether he does or not, i suggest you do finish as it will open many doors to you that you may wish to enter someday.
i hope these words are useful to you
~W~
Lake
18:55 Nov 07 2009
Please don't make impulsive changes in your life that you can't take back. Life is hard no matter where you live or who you are living with. I would have written these same words that you did at your age, in fact I probably did. But time has a way of putting these things in perspective. I have spent the last twelve years at low pay jobs for lack of a proper eduacation. I would not wish that on anyone. I am not taken seriously as a writer because I didn't finish high school. I know you don't see the potential effect now, but all of our choices have a cost. When you look back on your life ten years from now are you going to think the cost was worth the reward?
When things get hard, and you feel like you are being crushed by everyone's opinion, just remember. You are special because you are different. There is at least one person who wishes they were like you, even if they don't say it. There is at least one person who admires your courage in being what you want to be no matter what. It took me a long time to realize this, but once I did it changed my life.
So just be you no matter what and don't let those people get to you, because you are stronger than that.