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I wish...



That I wasnt so busy

I could get out of here

he'd talk to me

I knew what I did

I had a better friend

I was able to give up

I didnt have these doubts

I could abandon my hope

I could control my dreams

I couldnt feel so much

I wasnt blamed

You'd be a man

I could see you now

You'd wake up

you'd realize im not a threat

I had a chance

you werent hurt so much

your sister would shut her mouth

I could forget you

I could move on

I wasnt so stupid

I knew this would happen

I could see the future

I could sleep atnight

I didnt hurt still

I didnt have to lie

you didnt give up

you werent such a baby

you werent too strong

youd listen to me

I could forget you

youd realize you were wrong

we could set a truce

we didnt have to fight

I didnt think about you all the time

I didnt care so much

you didnt forget me

you didnt take your anger out on me

that i could get mad at you

No...

no..

no.



Damn.



I've got to have better self control.

It is like my tears have a mind of their own.



But I never had control.



I was always the bitch.

The one that everyone else took from-

but no one ever gave.

Never cared.



I'm on my own now.



I've got to stop crying.

I have to stop feeling sorry for myself.

It is his loss, not mine.

I'm fine.

I'm okay.

I can do this.

I don't need anyone else.



I lie alot.



But one thing that can't lie are my tears.

They reveal me.

Ashame me.



I can never win.

COMMENTS

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Bellanova333
02:42 Nov 22 2010

ah shit you too huh?

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POST COMMENT

I can't take it anymore.



So many voices weigh me down as I crawl into my ball of safety.

I shut my eyes tight.

I clamp my hands over my ears.

And I shake.



When will this end?

I can't do it.



I'm not okay.

I'm broken and injured.



Yet so many expect so much.

But I have no more to give.



I am so tired.

I am washed up.

I am stripped of every piece of energy I had left.



What do I do now?

What Can I do?



so many voices.

Every one, demanding something different.



I'm hurt.

I'm confused.

I'm only one person!



This isn't right.

I'm not taking this anymore.



I'm free.