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Dear, Mom



I have depression. I'm sorry, but I'm just not perfect. I can't force myself to be happy. It isn't going to go away. Volunteer work and staying active won't do anything. Not all social workers are bad at their job. I'm not going to magically get better without help. You didn't know about my problems because I can't trust you. No, that doesn't necessairly mean I can trust a complete stranger. Because you can't disappoint a stranger. I'm sorry I think about killing myself. Just because I'm strong enough not to do it doesn't mean i'm not hurt inside. You need to accept the fact that I need help.



Love, your injured daughter.

COMMENTS

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LordWolf
08:09 Nov 26 2010

and yet you have friends and FAMILY that do love you, and accept you for just who you are.



i hope you never ever ever forget that.



Me

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POST COMMENT

3,2,1....



That's it.

Don't look down now.

Keep your head up so that the fear is invisible.



Jump now!

that was close...

but not close enough.



It will never be enough.



Don't stop, or you'll burn.

but you know that, don't you?



Twirl.

Land.

leap.

sway.

oops!

Dead.

Would you fucking quit already? you are exactly like him. You act depressed, moody. I try to help, and you just push me away. What am I supposed to do? just sit here and wait for you to get over it? you wont even tell me what's wrong.

you're cocky.

you're mysterious.

you hide your true emotions.

Fuck it all. I cant get hurt like that again. Why do I care so much for people that don't give a fuck about me? Why do I try so freaking hard to help people that REFUSE to help themselves? what did I do to deserve this? Why am I always the caretaker? It's like I am trying to feed you, and you are just biting my hand off. You are ignoring me, just like him. You say i'm wrong, that you care oh so much about me. so show it. It isn't going to kill you to show emotion. I would have been dead and rotting years ago if that was the case. I can't do this again. I can't.

So why can't I just end it? Because I would never do that to you.

You're my second sweetest poison. I need you. You dance on my thirsty tongue. but too much, and i'll be dead. Gone to the world.

It is like you both plotted against me way back when. And now I am being tortured. What the fuck did I ever do to earn this?

Everything happens for a reason? Bullshit.

I am so fed up with all of this. Nothing matters anymore. I almost welcome injury now. Maybe then you'll care. Maybe then he will, too.

I am so alone. I thought you could keep me company. But even together, we are completely on our own.