The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

You woulodn't think that finding a picture to represent myself would be so damn hard. I've gone through pictures of roses; blue roses, black roses and even red roses, but non of them were right. I looked though pictures of evil carebears and she-demons, but non of them were suited for me. Maybe I'm just a perfectionist. Mybe it doesn't matter. Or maybe I was programned this way by the sick genetic experimental scientists. So many poissiblities.

Mother and daughter relation-can't live with them, can't live without them (or so the saying goes). My mother was just talking about how when you get a cut and it starts to bleed so you squeeze it and then suck the blood up. I felt like saying "Hello! I'm obsessed with vampires, of course that's something I'm going try." Did you know that you can drink a pint of blood before you throw up? Well, you do now. That's another one of those interesting pieces of only slightly morbid trivia. Such as: Did you know that choking on your own vomit is the second worst way you can die? Wanna know what the first worst way is? Choking on someone else’s vomit. The people in Elizabethan England thought that the worst way to die was to be burned at the stake (that's what they did to Protestants in the time of "Bloody Mary").



I personally agree with the people of Elizabethan England because... Well just picture it: tied tightly with homespun ropes, slowly biting into your tender flesh, awaiting the man with a torch to come and set you ablaze (the mental torture people must have gone through while waiting must have been excruciating to say the least). Then the man dressed all in black holding a Bible in one hand and a torch in the other would step forward screaming "Devil come and drag your demons back to hell!" and then he would toss the torch into the platform on which you stand. Soon your world would contract to nothing but searing pain and the inferno that surrounds you. Your frantic pleas would fall on deaf ears as your flesh begins to bubble with heat. Boils form and pop within the seconds. And slowly, too slowly for comfort you would slip into the black unconsciousness where you would stay until the end of eternity. Sounds fun doesn't it? I believe that, that is enough morbid visualizing to last me for awhile, don't you think? Oh and by the way, the question of the day: why don't I ever win at solitaire?

Why do we pretend? I have this friend, her name is Haley, my gawd she's the worst friend I've ever had. And she's one of the biggest bitches it's been my displeasure to know. So why do I pretend? For the same reason Amanda does; Jeannette wants us to. I think that Jeannette's hoping that if we give her a little more time then she'll shape up and treat us right. Amanda and I have known Haley sine elementary school and we know that it's not going to happen, and we've been waiting for about eight years. Chris and James and Ray, they all pretend to like Haley and I don't understand why. See... Haley likes Chris and she has since the sixth grade. She practically worshipped the ground he walked on, and he pitied her. When Chris finally went out with her (out of pity) she turned into an abusive bitch that Amanda and I knew her to be all along. She would hit and kick him every opportunity she got for the stupidest reasons you could ever imagine, and sometimes there was no reason at all. Gawd, I wanted to rip her head off for the way she treated her, but the grand part was I didn't have to. Chris dumped her (not some enough if you ask me) and she was in a word: CRUSHED.



I don't even know how I ended up friends with her in the first place. In elementary school it started out with pity. But then in middle school, after I left the preps she became a necessity, she was my only option. And then came Jeannette, I helped to get her away from Jessica Striebel (another abusive bitch) so, soon she and I became good friends. Then to complete our little posse enter stage left Amanda Rock (elementary chum). And there we were, the four of us, although every once and a while me and Amanda would try and cut Haley out of something and Jeannette didn't understand why until this past year, when she really started to know Public Enemy #1. I'm going to take a moment to compare Haley to a Venus FlyTrap. In case you don't know, the Venus Fly Trap is a plant that draws fly to their doom by harboring natural sugar in its depths, and when the fly gets close enough the mouth closes and you have one very dead fly. Haley's just like that, she draws you in by being nice and thoughtful and all that bullshit and then when she thinks your close enough her jaw snaps down and she devours you alive. I'm not trying to be gruesome or anything like that but it's the truth.



Stephanie ( my Mom’s friend) voice is so damn loud. I realize that I have music on but honestly, she always talks that loud. Her "indoor voice" could be heard a whole freakin' block away! And just to clear it up, I am not exaggerating. Her son is Matt A.K.A: the horniest seven-year-old I have ever met. But he's gone now so I'll be free to watch “Angel” and eat nachos in peace. Can you say score?

OMG. Do you ever have the feeling that nothing is going your way? Well I do, and that feeling leads into doubts about none other than the future. The future has been a big worry for me as of late, college, careers, families, traveling. Although I'm told things will get better after I turn 21 (the legal drinking age) and yet... I still worry. But I don't know why I worry because all the unremarkable events in my future have already been mapped out. With that whole theory of predenstination and everything.



I think that I'm going to continue to write little blurbs like this about what I'm feeling and crap like that, but I don't know how I keep people from reading them. I could save them on a disk, or I could just save them in one of my files and trust the goodness in hearts of other not to read it... Yeah right. When did I become so cynical? When did I stop believe that there was goodness in everything and that I could trust people? When did the world seem to clam up around me? Why don't I go outside and play in the sun with everyone else? I don't no the answers, except to the last question: I don't play with everyone else because I'm not like everyone else, it's as simple as that. But I have one last question; When did my world evolve beyond Barbie and her accessories, or recess or what position I'd get on the school post office? (These are questions I plan to answer during my life span)