The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

His presence is of a silent figure in the night.



The shadows hide all the light



He says he can put your soul on paper



Then he'll burn it with a taper



He'll draw you up, but it is a high cost



Which way will he toss?



He takes anything just to make a living



But, it will cost your life ending



He says he can no longer paint life



Since he was cut off with a knife



He'll give you a dream



But, nothing at all it may seem

I believe that things will happen for a reason.



I believe that there is time for change every season



I believe that tomorrow will be a better day.



I believe that not everyone will have their say.



I believe in a way to make life seem blissful.



I believe that not everything is wishful.



I believe that I will have my set and time.



I believe that sometimes life can seem sublime.

There's a place in my mind that I can retreat



To remember something that hurt so deep



That I couldn't even begin to speak it aloud



Except that who I am today, isn't what I was once.







And you won't remember how I used to be



Because it just wasn't in your program to remember



Yet, in my memory, it replays all to loud



You won't recongize me on the street







The girl from middle school grew up



She left behind so, much of her



That it still litters the hallways that she passed by in



The people would tell you, that it's not the same







That I could never be the same person they remember



But, their memories aren't mine,and they'll never be able to understand the change



Even as I grow older I still remember how everyone used to treat me



Oh, how I wish that it would of been better.







Then again it just wouldn't been the same



So, here I stand today, stronger than the girl



Of yesterday



So, here is to my memory, here is to you







My last hold of who I was



I'm no different than you thought I was.



My crush that I never could tell



Except for in a letter







That never really expressed the right things



I wanted to express



But, I will stand here and tell you now



I don't love you anymore







I will not love you like I did, ever again



So, in my memory that girl still does



But, all is lost in a memory



Every thing can be forgotten in a memory.

You're something unexpected

And yet, something I wanted all along

I can barely contain my excitement to hear your voice

When I'm lost in my world, you make it hard to stay away







And as my time spent getting to know you, goes on longer

I see myself, wrapping my arms around you

The sea of loneliness is too much to bare

But, I won't bare it anymore







You're something that's been there

That I never really noticed

Yet, knew something was there

You offer me something new







Yet, nothing new at all

You're a big adventure waiting to happen.

The green eyed monster behind your eyes

Something that makes me cry

Your tongue like venom, I wish not to speak

Feelings of resentment make me weak



I have put up with the good and bad

Yet, you make something so simple sad

You yelled at me for a measly dollar

I hated to raise my voice to hollar



If I'm the one who causes the problems

Then why come to me to solve them?

I never asked for the family I was born in

But, you make it seem like its a sin



To sit there and provoke

Makes me want to revoke

The friendship we have today

but, I guess I'll leave it this way



And wish that you would fight this resentment

Or turly I could find other consentment.

You and I no longer see

eye to eye

Your in love with an enemy

Which makes me feel insignificant

I no longer wish to fight

It causes to much animosity

Its not like I ask for it

He started it, and I finished

Your upset and I'm numb

He says I'm guilty

My hands are clean

And his are dirty

He acts like I'm a reflection of what he hates

But, I never stood for what he thinks

I'm tired, and no longer care

I tell you this, I am gulity of harmful thoughts

but, you can't blame me

I can't blame him I guess

Even though his anger is unprovoked

And mine was provoked

But, this is all I have to say

I wish that you'd push me away.

I lay awake in my field of shadows

Close my eyes to the impending darkness

I pretend that I'm dead

Yet, I'm a survivor in this valley

In my world of nothing

I fill it up with sorrow



Waiting for you to enter

To be my sun again

So, then maybe my valley

Wouldn't be filled with death

With the love that has taken my life

Seems like centuries have passed

Since you've brightened this world



With no life left to grasp

I open my eyes to the shadows

And welcome them to reality

Knowing you never loved me

But, used me to melt the loneliness

Maybe it makes me feel alittle better



To know I did some good

Even if you'll never know about my world

In my field of shadows

My valley of death

I'm merely waiting for the rising day

And so we lay askew



I sit up to examine the damage

Seeing that the war inside me is done

I can finally repair

And start over today

Fill up the river that flowed for you



And seal the cracks that made my valley

Welcome to my reality

My field and my valley

My home and my world

It's depressing

But, it's my depressing place



The little place in my brain Where everything makes sense



And I don't have to realize the pain

I guess I'm crazy

At least here nothing is insane

For it's my world

I'm victim and vitimizer



I'm violence and peace

World that is my own

I weep over the valley

Slowly then I drown

My sun and star

The cure of my heart



I bid you farewell

And hope you know the happiness

You took away

The soul you have grasped

And slowly my eyes ease open

With my mother shaking me



Calling my name yet, I don't remember

All I know is that I'm crying

And for the firsti time I'm hit with a blow

My throat grows salty

And all I see around me

Are bright lights of a white room



My world I want it back

But, I need to shake myself' From the craziness of my world.

What does it prize a man to look for beauty?

When phyiscal beauty dies and makes you quiver

That the one that owned the face does shiver

And yet, we all want it

Its a sadistic need for something made of flesh

Instead of being made of a soul

Will we all grow-up to believe that the machincal world is all there is and something that will become?

Caught in this whirl wind of flesh, to press someone harder until that they are hysterically crying

And we all laugh at them for they are a weak pathetic soul and still we are the ones dying

Yes! this tactiful curel form of the world is all we are



And a baby with a broken leg is what we understand

Then point the finger at the working mother

That stands on street corners, when her daddy didn't want her

And this is all her fault?

People lift up thier hands, offer advice that they'll never take a dose of

A satanic ritual happens everyday yet, conciously no knows that their performing it until they find themselves at the broken gates of home

yet, what does flesh prize a soul?

when the release is what causes fear and still is sucked in We will become this!

A dirty soul with eyes for physical beauty, that will all but, crumble in febble hands, we thought had strength

And yet, we know none of this; This is our prize for the rituals we went through

To climb a mountain so high, that you feel envincible

But, someone younger, bigger, and stronger will push you off in all your glory

That you'll fall into the bloody pool and drown in this weakness in society.

And this is something to become?

You'll find a succubus ripping out your soul and find that you have been eternally damned.

They'll raise you high upon a cross and wipe your face with shame

That this is what you are

And this is the prize of a man that looks forward to physical beauty.

Softly a melody so haunting

Plays gently through my walls

Calling me from my bed, to stand in my hall

I stare into the blackness of the night wondering whom this composer was

I creep across the cold floor letting this melody guide me



Once my eyes laid upon its player, I find myself unmoved to speak

As the notes of this song swirl around dipping and singing up in a chorus that brought me to tears

How sad it seemed that this human being should live alone with their art

Wishing not to disturb I walk back to my bedroom

Listening to the wailing melody, hearing the pain that this composer felt

And I named this composer the Midnight Composer

So, when I feel I cannot sleep, I can listen to their song and fall asleep with thoughts of my own

Never able to break the spell of this melodist

And maybe I'll pray for once that no one should have to bare such a wound that deep

As that of the one of the Midnight Composer

Rules for art;

Are like chains,

digging into your skin.

It's like prison,

Cold, tentative,

Manipulating your senses.

It's like winter,

dead, unheeding,

Curel to your heart.

He said,

"You're not pretty enough for me and you seem so simple,



that I couldn't possibly love you."

She said,

"I am not the prettiest girl around but, still there is my sense of justice.



I am practicle, you shouldn't think me so simple.



My hair, my eyes, or body shouldn't matter."

He said,

"Your sense of justice, practicality, seem to be as fickled as electricity.



I couldn't possibly love you."

She said,

"You can't base situation and hard emotions off of who I am.



I am fickled at times but, I can be like stone.



Surely that shouldn't matter to you."

He said,

"Weither there be a bad situation and hard emotions should matter.



You throw this in my face as if to gain something.



No, I couldn't possibly love you."

She said,

"Base it as you must, because you shall not find another girl such as I."

He said,

"I couldn't possibly love you."

In the eyes of the hunter you are merely prey

You are something kill, nothing else to say

In the eyes of the hunter there is merely a prize

That just happens to be your life, surprise?



With your heart beating wildly you try to hide

But, don't forget what lies on the other side

The hunter is looking, crossing through the trees

You hide under brush, and fall on your knees



In the world of the Hunter there is merely black and white

No colors for enjoyment, how boring a site.

As the hunter grows closer you'll cover your mouth

Make not a sound, or this will be your last mount



In hands of the hunter there is a rifle

Do you think you can make such a striffle?

To fight for life, and take the gun away?

Or will you merely vanish to live another day?



The hunter, will get you, the hunter knows all

Where you sleep, where you eat, where you fall

The hunter is playing with your mind

how can such being so heartless and unkind?



The hunter will find you, it's a matter of time

This hunter is death, life was never sublime.

It's a lie, forget it

Come back you'll see

It's a simple life, forget it

It's only you and me

Just take your hands away don't look at me

You're just another lie, forget it

It's all in the touch

You've hurt me to much

I'm just another selfish human being, forget it

You'll not care much more for me

It's just a lie, you'll use it

To make up a family

Let the music wind through the trees

It's spilling out verses for you to sing

It's just a lie, you'll have it

For you to bring more company

Twist their hearts, you'll take them

Their just another prize on your shelf

It's the relationship that you tear in half

It's a soap Opera grant

You're a lie, forget it

Everyone already has

We heal the bruises

Where they all began

You make me sick, but you'll have it

You'll come back to me, and you'll hurt me

You're pathetic, you keep up with old habits

God, won't forget it

When you leave

Remember, all that you've done

Don't lie, you'll forget it

It's just all about you isn't it?

Just forget it.

A reflection in the mirror, I smile

But, for only a little while

Before I begin to mentally break myself down

Before I know it, I'm emotionally hitting the ground



I wanna tear the mirror off the wall

I wanna smash it in the hall

I want to make myself bleed

So, this pain will fleed



So, I'll just turn my eyes away

But, I'll see it the next day

The hurt, resentment, the torment that lies within

The intelligence, artist, the poet that cries for a pen



To break up myself doubt

Would wear me out

I already have problems with my reflection

That I've accuared a collection



Of words, just to tell myself how I feel

Just to tell myself, it's time to heal

But, I'll never stop the wound that I started now

I just won't be able to tell others why or how?



I don't know why I have problems with the reflection

I don't know why I have such a large collection

Of problems, that seem to just get bigger and pile up more

I feel the weight fall down upon me, and make me sore



I don't even know why this started in the first place

I guess I'm just a rather complicated case

Because I won't let any of this out

I won't even pout



To let others know that I hurt deep inside

Where I take everything and hide

You have pictures of you where people say your hot

People say your pretty, but you're not

When I look in your eyes, I see something else

I see what no one will see, I see myself



People say that you are great

But, all I see is hate

From the words that you say about me

To the things you point out, that you see



People say that you're funny

That your life is all sunny

But, all I see is the dark

Where all those other emotions lark



So, maybe I see one side of you

But, which side of you is true?

I see one side, others see the other side

Is it because you're afraid of what you hide?



Because everything that seems to make you so wonderful

Seems to make you just that much more ugly to me

So, tell me ugly, are you wonderful after all?

Or is it ugly that you want to be?

I look into the pictures of you smiling

And I wish you where unhappy

I wish you had pictures of triffling

I wish you had pictures of you looking crappy



But, these are just ugly thoughts of mine

I just want you to be down, so I can be up

I want your world to stop, I want it to be not so fine

I want to be the one with the opptimism on a cup



Half full, rather than half empty

I want you to be ripped up on the inside

I wish no one would give you sympathy

But, that is just my feelings that I hide



It rips and tears, to see you happy

Because of all the people in this world

You are the one that is the most crappy

So, I'll let these thoughts twirl



Until I feel sick with them

And I'll obess of you falling down

I wish I had a knife to cut the stem

That started the emotions to grow around



My heart, and turn me into something I didn't want to be

But, everyone only sees the differences between you and me