The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

ok I give up world im tired of fighting im tired of dealing with all the insults and all the judgement so what im not smart , pretty or kewl enough I surrender im tired of fighting im tired of being teared down & then shot down in flames so what maybe I dont like the same music or dress the way you think is kewl I dont care just because im different dosent mean that you should push me around , make fun of me & call me names ive had it I cant take it anymore im tied of fashion do's & fashion dont's I feel like a bomb waiting to explode all of my feelings bottled up tightly in a jar thats way to small to even hold an ant and yet for all of these years ive been storing more & more hurt feelings & emotions I lay awake at night repeating the words slowly in my head the words that brought me down as far as I can go & even beyond so I give up world then one fateful morning I found god in a kitchen knife & on my arm the warm & soothing feeling of the blade cutting through my skin as I bled through all of the hate & rejection for that small moment as I stood there bleeding I felt free , free of all that life braught down on me for once my mind was free the warm feeling of my warm blood trikaling down my arm consumed me because for that small amount of time nothing mattered I felt accepted like I mattered every insult every memory of being teared down shot down in flames had all dissapeared it was like it never happened but as soon as this fleeting moment ended I wanted more I became addicted I just couldn't get enough of it , it captured me it was like an hourly ritchual I couldn't live without , sure I have issues but they all fled as soon as that blade met my wrist , then my friends caught me in the act of my morbid obssesion they shamed me for it & forced me to quit my only way out my escape from reality they forced me to see , to see what I was doing to myself before I knew it I had a problem they made me realize what I had done when I finaly noticed the carnage I had bistowed on myself when I stopped withdrawls were unbareable I was sick & feverish for weeks months & then my wounds finaly healed was when the withdrawls finaly ended now I stand in a heaping wrek still sometimes craving the blade trying to peice my life back together knowing if I go back to my blades ill never return & my life will finaly come to the abrupt stop I so longed for .