The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Should Children Witness Childbirth?







Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The

house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl

to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he

helped deliver the baby.













Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and

pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.









The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his

bottom.



Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help

and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had

just witnessed.











Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the



first place, smack his butt again!'







If you don't laugh at this one there is no hope for you.

Mad Wife Disease



A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

'What was that for?' he asked.



'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.



Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explained.



'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation '



Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.

When he came to, he asked, 'What the hell was that for?'



She replied... 'Your horse called.'