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6 entries this month
Cute!
15:59 Jun 25 2013
Times Read: 708
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart
Dear Mrs. Woolf,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
chips.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the Staff passed out.
I want it to be nice out already!18:45 Jun 18 2013
Times Read: 721
The weather here has yet to make up it's mind between spring and summer temps. But of course this weekend the heat index will be near 100 degrees when I have my motorcycle training class and have to be in long everything, including boots and gloves! UGH! Bright side I guess, I may drop a few pounds!
Whew!!!!16:46 Jun 12 2013
Times Read: 734
Just got back from the foot doc's. My foot is NOT broken! Thank the Gods! The break i had is 100% healed. It is just the way my 5th metatarsal healed, it is tipped slightly different than the other 4. So that is where my discomfort is coming from. Whew! Time for some lunch!!!
*sighs*03:26 Jun 12 2013
Times Read: 754
Doctors appointment with my podiatrist tomorrow. Not sure if my foot is just super slow at healing or still broke/re-broke. Hopeful that it will be good news and not me leaving with a cast or having to wear the boot for the rest of the summer.
Happy Kit!00:19 Jun 04 2013
Times Read: 772
The new cat bed I made today is a hit! LOL I figured Axel would be the first one to try it out...
Take a look please19:57 Jun 01 2013
Times Read: 778
I usually don't post stuff like this, but it is a very good friend of mine who a year a go was diagnosed with stage 4 liver and colon cancer. My friend Heather has set up this auction to raise money to help with his medical costs. Some good stuff! Thanks for looking!
Take a look please...
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COMMENTS
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xxEmaeraldxx
23:01 Jun 25 2013
Heh.. loved it!
NLW
03:30 Jun 27 2013
Now my face hurts! Haha!