The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Her life is too much for her, she cant take it. School means nothing to her anymore, nothing does. No ones here for her, no one really cares, they say they do but she knows the truth, theres only one thing left to do to save herself from this useless, tormenting life. She packs up her books, into a nice, neat tidy pile; on top, a single piece of paper displaying two words that she never meant "I'm Sorry!" Not that anyone will notice, its nothing to them, she means nothing! She stands up quietly and pushes her chair in. She steps to the side, walks straight to the door as as she turns the handle, "Detention!" she doesnt take notice, it wont matter to her soon. The class starts to whisper, they all know shes useless. They dont care what she does. Its nothing important to them. She walks the corridors slowly, reminding herself of all her mistakes. She walks past a group of Seniors, "You'll still be ugly" she doesnt know if they are talking to her but she keeps walking, she knows that she'll always be ugly, always imperfect! She walks out the front doors, past the office, past the grounds where the rest of the school will be in the next couple of minutes, enjoying their lives, not knowing what shes going through. She walks through the gates and down the street, the cars drive past but she doesnt hear or notice them, shes gone into a daze and her mind is set on one thing.

She walks for nearly an hour until she finally reaches her destination, "Suicide Drop" She climbs over the broken fence and sits on the very edge and dangles her legs over. Its a peaceful view yet the murky water lapping against the jagged rocks gives off a different opinion. The drop had taken many live over the years, some accidental caused by drunken teenagers but most deaths were deliberate. Where many troubled youths took their own way out of hell. She never thought it would take her own life, she always thought she was strong enough top handle the pain, she never expected it to become this bad. She always hoped that it would get better but it never did, it was always getting worse and never stopped. She couldn’t take it anymore, no one was there for her, her boyfriend was always too 'busy' for her and even though he was the only one that kept her alive it was killing her inside. The only thing she lived for was to hear his beautiful voice try and reassure her that everything was okay, that it would work out. She would give anything for him but he was slipping away from her and she felt she had nothing left. Nothing...

She took out a badly wrapped bundle out of her pocket, unravelled the dirty cloth and removed her saviour, the only thing that gave her relief. A sharp, blood-stained blade. She pushed up her sleeve and uncovered her most recent artwork, the deep wounds from last night. She runs the blade straight down her arm, not wanting to die, not just yet but to see the crimson blood flowing over every cut and crevice left on her tainted arm. It felt like it was her only release. Her life was falling apart, into tiny little pieces and she couldnt fix it. With every painful memory, every lonely thought, she ran the blade across her wrist. With every drop of blood that fell through her shaking fingers, a tear ran from her darkened eyes, slowly descending down her soft cheeks and curving around her trembling lips. Drop by drop, tear by tear, she starts to fade away. She wonders why it had to get this bad, what did she do to deserve this life. Her childhood was hell and as she grew up she fell into a spiral of depression, self harm and suicide attempts, never being able to release herself from her hell. But this time was different, it was going to end. Growing up for her was filled with a strong fear of her father but also a controlling rage for him which she took out on herself. Everytime she was hit, kicked, pushed, shoved, strangled she would take it out on herself until she never felt anything anymore. It was the same with her wrists; it never seemed to hurt anymore. She had been hurt so many times by 'loved ones' and was used by so many guys, until she finally stopped trusting them after she was left in the park, beaten until she was nearly dead. She lay on the bench for days until she had enough energy to stumble home and as she entered the house. Only two words flew from her parents filthy mouths 'You're grounded!' They didnt care that she was half naked wearing only torn remains of her clothes, or that she was covered in cuts and bruises.

Tears ran form her eyes, fell down her face and dropped off her chin. It landed in her deepest wound. She screamed in agony, it stung and it had been so long since she had felt the pain of her cuts. But the pain brought her back to reality, she was no longer remembering her past but looking over the edge of Suicide Drop, seeing her very short future. The dirty water engulfs the rocks that have ended so many lives as she sits shaking from fear, she didnt want to do this but it was the only way out of this hell…