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I lay the bottle aside,

Thinking this is the last time,

I use it,

Because next time there will be no me,

To swallow,

To swallow all the pain,

The anger,

To swallow,

But hold in,

Swallow but hold back,

Was it worth it,

I wonder aloud,

As the background becomes incoherent,

My mind slowing down,

It’s not taking in our last conversation,

It’s not wondering what’s next,

But I hear your voice,

Fourteen,

Fourteen,

Child,

To young,

What was I thinking,

But hell it’s too late,

To late,

Its over,

Just like our love,

I hear your voice fade,

Just like its being drained,

Like you’re going down the drain,

Just like my love and my life

You see me walking the streets,

Every night,

Searching for what is never there,

What used to stand,

Is something different now,

Like the seasons,

Forever changing,

Like my mind,

Always doing time,

Always changing its thoughts and plans,

Things change I know,

But things change too fast,

As I have always known,

Seems like things are good till the mail comes,

Seems like I can’t focus on the little things in life,

Seems like everyone is leaving,

Maybe I should go to,

Before the cops come to find me again,

But they never find me,

For I am hidden from everyone,

Everything,

No one knows me,

And I like that,

Though,

It seems like I’m always changing,

But I’ve always stayed the same

You have my heart,

But you don’t know it,

I love you in sprit,

Body and mind,

Without you my heart has dissipated,

Without you my mind is insane,

I have feelings for you no one,

Would understand,

Except for you and me,

I can’t pick up anything that you,

Or anyone else has tried to,

Or will teach me now,

I can’t sleep now with you on my mind,

I can’t feel the same with you not with me,

I wish my heart could skip with you,

Instead my heart is dead,

Cold and stopped,

Without you I wish I couldn’t feel anything at all

You have finally made something of this,

Now you want me,

Now you need me,

Why,

Wasn’t I enough before,

You’re a perfectionist,

I knew it another fucking perfectionist,

What you want me,

Come over here,

So you can ask again and,

Get the exact same fucking answer,

Right,

Was that all you wanted,

Just brush it off,

If you don’t want it,

Just hold me down,

Does it make you happy,

Seeing it,

Seeing my fear

I am curious and worried,

I wonder do I still know you,

I hear you speaking to me,

I want to see you once more,

I pretend that I will see you again my friend,

I feel shy when I’m around your friends,

I touch the spots you left behind,

I worry your already gone,

I cry when I think about you,

I am curious and worried,

I understand you are gone,

I say that I hope to see you,

I dream you will be there,

I try not to think about you,

I hope to see you there,

I am curious and worried

Do I offset you,

I’m sorry,

If you cant see the real me,

If you don’t have time to ask,

Do I offend you,

I’m sorry,

That you will never see the real me,

That’s okay you don’t have to understand,

All you have to do is spread rumors,

Do I scare you,

I’m sorry,

That you don’t care who I am,

If you took the time than maybe,

But you don’t seen to have the time,

If your scared you don’t know the real me,

Do I think of hurting people,

I’m sorry,

If you would listen you would know,

If you feel you have to hurt me,

All you have to do is lie,

If you are already dieing I have no answer,

If you are gone leave me alone,

Do I think of hurting myself?

I’m sorry,

I’m not answering that question