The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am not going to ask why I need several days to come to my answers, but I am very tired. There is nothing more satisfying then a large dinner, especially in my condition, which is very hungry. I think that some steak and peas maybe with some aqua would be pretty sweet. There is also a need for some axe deodorant because I smell bad from time to time and what im using doesn't seem to be cutting it.



That about sums up my thought process and my significance. If you wish to hear me spout out random facts, all of my thoughts have been neatly displayed on web pages accessible through Google. Sure others have claimed to create these pages but I am the real creator. Please enjoy. As a last note I must add that I invented Google also, don't forget to comment on my very accomplished writings, which also include the dictionary.



If relevance is necessary to continue on then I guess there is the thoughts outside of reality, in the dreams I have found a new character, or characters. They are unfortunately deep in my subconscious and very violent and assuredly* I had previously blocked them out due to a fear of confrontation. Now however I am able to accept that they are there, not a great thing overall but what can i do about it.



Moving on in my dreams i am also mocked, that is all .



*I never use the word assuredly in real life but was forced to in this because Firefox and my need to correct.

I am trying to get a job, I want to work in the back where no one can see me, I am willing to wake up whenever I need to and work as long as im legally able to as well as actually work.



I am learning a new song and have kind of given hope up on learning a couple previous ones I had been working on. If there was actually a band I could play with, or even a drummer, I would probably pick them up pretty quick. There is no one I know and trust though to play with so I am not working very hard on that.



I am still broke and my chances of getting some descent shoes is up to the luck of a drunk, which has given me where i am today, so not very. I think that I will find what I am looking for tomorrow, if I don't then I will probably be here again.

nothing like going out and having to chose between caramel apples, microwavable, and chunky green beans. Also to add to the picture i the image of my drunk cook, although of immediate relation i cannot remove the image of hate in my head as she wears a red apron and the meat is searing off the edges of the grill. I do not say anything though I just simply lock myself in my room.



Then she shut off the power, she turned it back on, but it wasn't very nice. I will probably be hungry tonight but it is less pain then going through with the process. I can't stand the chewing and slobbering of the drunk, or a drunk.



I think that I enjoy my own company more than others, especially a drunks. I have no dinner now though, but i have no annoyance. A doctor or psychiatrist would call me stupid for not going through but i am my own and i agree that it was worth the small sacrifice.



It is not 7:40 and i have another two hours alone in my room until I can escape from the drunk, why can't it just smooth over.

I have been having some strange dreams. They are very interesting. I am not sure if they are giving me some message but to me they are very entertaining. I also saw some people around me who eventually came over so there is some sign of truth in it. I think that sleep is good.

I was supposed to have a party and i did everything but no one showed up, except some old friend probably coming because no one else did. I also broke my contract to myself because of many reasons but one being that my old friend was there, and my reason for him being there.



Now i am sitting here with plenty of left overs from my party, if anyone has been keeping close enough tabs they should know that i have alot of stuff left over. This is me saying I have party supplies left over.



I also got hit today, but in the persons mind i deserved it, then I had some food. I think that music and a bed are the best mixes when there is time left over.



Hey, I think that I need to keep up on my reading because I have only finished three books and I still have two more i need to get through and i have been really lazy since about half way through.

my life is dedicated to her. I can not live any more without her. I will never have her. i dream about her every night and i think about her every chance i can. face to face with her in my mind i will never touch her. although i feel her body next to mine as i beg for her i know that it is all an illusion. everyday i sit here waiting to love her, but i never will. She will almost definitly never love me. I am not of age but already i want to die for her she is everything that i want to live for. i wish that i could say this to her but in front of her i cant even speak. to her i am nothing and forever will be nothing, but in my head every night i wait for her only to be touched by the thought of her face.



i wish that i could touch her. taste her lips or feel how her hips could press against me. i will never though because i can not the only time i cant i dont i do not know why. i am stuck in my own prison and the only love i will ever have again will be in pity of myself. life is supposed to be alot shorter, i want to die for her. she is everything to me and i want to give everything for her. i am supposed to be too young to love but i would give my soul and life over just for one real night with her.



i know i am forever damned and that any chance that i many have in the future will be corrupted by my love, need, and lust. i wish that i could die only to awaken to her. i already have and will do anything to touch her.



she may have love and i am sure that i am just another picture in her life, and i accept that. i have earned nothing for her love and to do so i must act, but that is all i am, an act. i am fake to her because i can not be for her in my servitude to my prison.



her name alone can bring me to ecstasy yet she has no idea of mine, i will die in her arms only to be brushed off for a thought.