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I wish i could grab the souls of these pieces of shit and throw them into fire my self. I will have to wait, i am not that kind of person.

i want to sleep but i cant



i want to continue to sleep but i wake up



constant failure and disappointment

This holiday makes me very estranged (word?) at life. In a way i am thankful to see the massive swarms of sheep who follow it unknowing of its true origins and then it also reminds me that i am not that messed up and that i may actually just know things that other people choose not to concern them selves with, in a strange way this makes me actually more rational and knowledgeable than others (my age or around my age...not comparing my self to you crazy smart people with time out there).

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Sinora
11:53 Dec 25 2008

Baaaa humbug....lol

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I am a intermediate here, i am trying to better my chances in the long run people.

There has been no further notification but i shall continue my actions uninhibited. The problem is communication, it is unfair but i shall overcome, she will receive the benefit and with or without me i hope she enjoys it. I would enjoy not to have this problem but my life doesn't deserve satisfaction, apparently.

I think that i will last a little longer, but it is out of necessity.

what is this, no new comments, no new views or posts, i require these things to live. I feed of them for personal comfort and warmth. Without out them i will die, you decide... have me die or comment.. little time remains...

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Sinora
16:19 Dec 22 2008

Man...you are some HAM ......however, it's Christmas so.....here you are have a little comfort *hugs*.

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Ok, i think i can start to get a hold of things.

SO I am a person with very intense choice of words that are placed to create a reasonable reaction with the reader, i pay attention to small things such as the beginning of the words and the order of the words. If you ever misspell something or thing you see something when typing, dont ignore it, it is a meaning.

I am tyler's unending failure

There is one thing i want to change, the process. I want to take all of the cold out of it and just fill every moment with dignity, but until i am able to do that i will deal with the death that follows the staleness of growth. There will be a time, until then it is all just wasting time that i one day will see as needed. I feel that in order to reach that superior level however time needs to be sacrificed.



The level i am trying to get to will require great amounts of sacrifice, monumental compared to the little amount i have already contributed. Although in my current lifetime, the little bit i see as a a sacrifice seems to be a great deal, it really isn't though.

What is wrong with me

So i was thinking about after this pathetic life of mine and i am getting more excited that i am reaching the end everyday. Really every second is a second closer to death and that helps me to rest in comfort. Because in death there is no more life it is just an infinite timeless thing. I want to be there. There has to be a place to pay for my sins. If not then it is all meaningless. I don't want to have my ultimate dream to be a reality. If nothing mattered like that then nobody else would pay for the shit that they do all fucking day. Plus i wouldn't be able to pay for my sins. That is what i want to do, i really do not want to continue at this game. There is more though, i want to live in a place outside of this one but is only possible in death, from what i understand. Maybe i will find a way to achieve in on earth sometime, but now i just look to the end. It may be right there, every time i check i am closer. It is nice to have no fear and comfort in the certainty of it coming closer. Well off to another wasted eight hours of enjoying the time slip by while i sleep, then back to my life, i do not want to live it but i have to. I can't just choose to die, i have to live my life. I don't have the choice to die i have to live. I hate that, i wish there was an off switch to die but i can't. I guess i would just be jealous that i couldn't turn the switch back on.



So strange, in life i want death, in death i envy life. Well i guess i am just a fucked little bitch then, but that is the never ending circle of it. I am a fucked little bitch, i want to die because i am a fucked little bitch, but then in death i am still a fucked little bitch. So what the fuck am i supposed to do. Fuck.

FUUUUDDGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I did not have to work today. I will see how the night goes, but i will try to finish off my weekend right.

What is a good gift for the holidays? I need some ideas so comment some. Please only good things.

just great

I have succeeded again, I have overcome my failure and although my performance was debatable I have done once again what I was set forth to do. I laugh in triumph.

i am failure. there is no other word to describe me. i have nothing and end with nothing. i am not going any higher and will only seep lower. i am what i no one wants to be, i have lost all that i gained and have given all that i have had.