It wasn't for love, it wasn't for pleasure, it wasn't for pity or need. It wasn't for me, it wasn't for him, it wasn't for anybody in the world.
I did it to restake my claim. He knew it, I knew it. Tears filled his eyes for he knew he did wrong. Biting his neck as hard as I could, he whined deep in his throat.
Staking my claim. He knew it.
I didn't care about him right now, I didn't care about anything right now. Just let him know, let him know that he's mine, and he's never getting away.
Lay my head on his chest, and start to cry. Cry out all the pain, all the mistrust and greed. All the feeling out onto his chest. But I couldn't cry loud enough, I couldn't grip strong enough. Never anything enough. Couldn't get it out enough, always still something there in my own chest that wouldn't get out.
Rip at my chest, to tear it out. To tear out the pain that wouldn't come out. Rip out the emotions holding me back from everything. Tear out my heart, throw it across the room so I can't feel it, so I can't see it. Leave it alone there, on the floor, so it doesn't beat anymore.
So I lay there, lay there with him. Light kisses all over my face, whispers in my ear "It's going to be okay. It will be over soon, don't you worry."
Push him away, push him away because he doesn't say that. I do not want hold, do not want hold. I want him, him, with his cold hands, his smooth lips, his large eyes. Always trying to make it better by making me smile, making it better that way. Not hold, hold says it will be okay, never trying to make me laugh or smile.
He grabs my wrists, and smiles at me. Not hold, back to him. My cold handed love. My smooth lipped wounder. My big eyed beauty. And I don't have to worry anymore.
Lay my head on his chest, and listen to his heart. His beating heart, and I know it beats for me.
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