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Its as if I'm not even here

I sit there and talk, but nobody seems to be listening

I look around, I see people having fun

I'm here, but nobody seems to notice me

No one cares or even seems to notice,

That I'm drifting away into nothingness

Waves just don't form in water

They form in people's lives



They wash away sadness

Waves bring sadness



Sometimes they are beautiful

At times they are destructive



In a wave people get pulled under

Others stay on top, surfing



Waves are small and relaxing

Waves are huge and terrorifying

I don't know what to write

Don't know what to say

Don't know how to feel

My heart is just so broken

By your words

Can't even find my own words

Why did you tell me?

Is it that you trust me?

Or is it that you wanted to hurt me?

Tell me why

Because I don't know...

How to feel

What to write

What to say

I just don't know

Why did you leave me out here?

Feels like I'm the only one

On a tiny island

I'm all by myself

Why is it that you had to leave me?

I did nothing wrong

Yet I'm stranded a lone on a tiny island

Theres nowhere to go...nothing to see

Only thing to feel is pain

I'm stranded on a tiny island

Surrounded by sharks

I jump right in

Yet they just circle around me

They won't attack me

They know all I feel is pain and they'll be taking it away

I swim back to shore

I cry so much...

My little island is flooded by my tears

You left me here...

Drowning in my own tears

I thought you gave me life…

But yet you were slowly killing me

I thought you gave me love…

You gave me lies

I thought you cared for me…

You hated me

I thought I was everything to you…

I was nothing to you

You are not the father I thought you were…

But a person who ruined and is ruining my life.

I need to know the truth

Please just tell me…

Did you ever love me?

Or were you just trying to break my heart?

Why don’t you tell me the truth?

I know its in there somewhere

Look deep into your heart…

Find some justice and tell me the truth

Why do you leave the truth inside you?

Show it to me no matter now bad or sad it is

I want to know the truth

Tears, I shed everyday

Can’t help but cry

Can’t fall asleep without tears rolling down my face

These are not tears of joy

They are not tears of happiness



The tears I shed, flow greatly down my face

Like a river flows down to the ocean

Sometimes they won’t stop

Sometimes they won’t come

The tears I shed, are not of death

The tears that run down my face, are not of love



I taste tears

Feel tears

Watch tears go down my face

Can’t fall asleep without crying first

Filled with tears, not of joy

Tears running down my face, my neck



Tears cover my body

This time my tears won’t stop, why?

Tears form a puddle around me

The water from my eyes fills till the sky



Die from my very own tears of sadness, fear, and just tears

To die in your own tears makes you shed even more tears, while you are dead

They put you in the clouds, call you rain

Everyday somewhere, in some place it rains

Because of my tears.

You know its lurking behind you

Why don’t you look back to see what it is?

You keep going and saying mean things to people

This feeling behind you seems to grow

You go home, watch TV

This gets you to forget about the shadow



When your mom gets home, you are still watching TV

Your mom says something to you, you don’t hear her

She walks up to you and yells your name

The two of you get into an argument

You feel this shadow growing larger and larger

She sends you to your room, you cry

The shadow gets smaller every time you shed a tear



The next day you wake up from your mother’s voice

You feel the shadow, but you do nothing

You act like its not there, but you know it won’t go away

You get ready for school

It is raining outside

When you are walking, you look in every direction

This is to make sure no one is near

You get on the bus

You go to school, the shadow’s following you…



You don’t know many people at school

You go to your classes

Everything is going good, except the shadow is still there, lurking

After school ends, you ride the bus home

You are very tired, the shadow is weakening you…



Your sister yells at you, calls you names

The shadow grows rapidly

You are getting mad and upset, yell back!

While yelling back, you know its not helping you, but the shadow grows

Finally, the yelling has stopped so has the shadows growing

You are now even more mad and upset



Same routine; you end up watching TV, forget about the shadow and your weakness

Don’t get into and argument when your mother arrives home

But after awhile you do

You ask yourself “why?”

Of course you don’t know why, but the shadow does

It grows and grows



At the end of the day you are tired, physically and mentally

The shadow is huge now

You fall asleep and feel the shadow eating you up

The next morning, you don’t wake up

The shadow has won



It weakened you and took over your body

The shadow feeds on your sadness

Sadness is the number one thing you feel

The shadow ends up killing you

The people around you finally show how much they care for you, but your dead



Years go by after your death

Most people forget about you

You fade away from their minds, their hearts, and their souls

But you are still there

You have become part of a shadow, but your part tends to fade away and leave those people a lone.



All the memories you once had, are gone

The people who you thought loved you don’t anymore or never have loved you

The shadow has overcome you

Now you just stay in the darkness, watching

You wish you knew of some way to get rid of that shadow, whom killed you

You then look around you and notice something

You notice that it was all those people who showed hatred towards you

Was the shadow, just jumbled into one

You died from the stress

You died from the feeling

You died from the shadow.

They’re everywhere

You can’t see them

But they’re there

I feel them

With each and every pound

Of my heart

I can’t see them,

With my eyes

But I know they’re there

They’ll never go away

I’ll always feel them

Always remember

That they’ll never go away

I never knew the truth

I thought I did

I loved you with all my heart

I would of done anything for you,

Until you lied

You lied to me all my life

You never told the truth

I though you did

You are fake

How could you lie?

Only thing I ever did to you

Was come alive in front of your eyes

So, I ask you this why so many lies?

You hear it all around you

You don’t know what to do

Every time you look around to see who is laughing, it stops

When you stop looking, it begins again



The laughter follows you everywhere you go

It only stops when you look for it

When you are looking in all directions people just stare at you

You keep walking, only faster



You keep hearing laughter

You can’t take it anymore and yell “STOP!”

Everyone stares at you and starts whispering

You hear giggles and laughter

You run and hide

Thankfully, no one is there



You are a lone

You don’t hear laughing

You hear yourself crying

Someone walks in, they hear you crying

You ignore them and keep crying

They leave and you hear a silent laughter



You too begin to laugh

You are going hysterical

You run out of hiding, laughing

Run out of the building, laughing

You hear people saying your name, you continue to run and laugh



You get to your house, the phone is ringing

You pick up the phone and hear an evil laughter

You realize the laughter has gotten to you

Continue to laugh, fall asleep

You are in a deep sleep, with laughter

That is all that surrounds you, laughter



It fills your lungs, your heart, your mind

Can’t stop laughing, can’t stop hearing laughter

You can’t help yourself

You just keep laughing

You are laughing so hard and so much, that you kill yourself

At least you died laughing.

I’m bleeding in the inside

Bleeding on the outside

Don’t know what to do with myself

Can’t take it anymore

Wanting it to stop

Can’t help myself

Feelings around me

Feelings inside me

Can’t figure them out

All I know is I’m bleeding

And no one seems to care

No one can see me bleeding