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Paint splatters engulf the walls

It begins to drip onto the carpet, I should have put down newspaper

A mangled mass of brushes, photographs, paint tubes on the floor

The music is pounding from the corner of the room

I can't seem to get the lines just right- keep working

Poetic utterances seep onto the canvas

Darker, darker, and darker still

It's changed so much in a year

Expression is my outlet

Fear, joy, pain, anger, sorrow, fluttering glimpses of the future

Crazed torment bleeds into the bleak whiteness

No longer white, but covered with poisoned memories

Fleeting remembrances of past events end up on the surface

My head is pounding with the thrust of emotion

A sorrowful, pained image emerges on the bumpy terrain of the canvas

Darkness overcomes the pallor that was once there

Joy overcomes me, and anger overwhelms me

Superficial scars in the form of art

i'm powerless, take me

disregard my screams of torment

quartered, torn

i'm a broken little girl

there's nothing left

i'll never be the same

so take me

get it over with

all of you just pull the chains a little tighter

bind me to you

steal my breath

stomp my heart

leave nothing, no remains

i am your puppet

i am your toy

leave nothing but dust, if dust at all

just take me, take me, for i have no power

a happiness of heart

or is it just a chemical imbalance

wretched mind-altering state

is it due to a fear of being alone

does it exist at all

my soul pours onto the floor

it soaks deep into the carpet

at a loss for words

an escape from reality

blood splatters across the walls

bloody fingerprints dragged across

abandoned from the world

a separation of mind and body

lust plunges into a dark abyss

body is nothing, a shell

spirit is lost, self is lost

living for someone else

have i lost myself for another

is love really worth it

i am satisfied.

tree aflame

lust is the driving force

pulsating light

pulse stopping

live to kill another day

no fear

the chill of night vanished

silky breeze sweeps overhead

a faint rustling of decaying leaves

fading to dusk

loss is all there is

run away little rabbit

small child with nowhere to go

find fear again

know death and become its friend

such pure intentions within criminal acts

overload

Shadow engulfs her innocent soul

pleasure seeps into her pores

a cloak of darkness surrounds her

the face to face does not startle her

the pale gleaming eyes penetrate her own

a sudden loss of consciousness?

the light is gone

all has gone black

an agony against her throat

warm fluid pouring out

white dress stained red

her wish finally realised

she is no longer

help me find peace

don't let her get me

a scared little girl is all i am

a confused little insect

take me into your dark embrace

leave me all alone

where i belong, not amongst you

your presence overwhelms me

i don't want to be afraid

i want to know what i want

three who want me

why would anyone

they want to take me

they want to ravage me

i should let them

take me from this false consciousness

wandering is in my nature

but wander i do not

i stray away from what is right

but there is no joy in it

i speak only truth

my mind rambles on

my imagination runs away

i am left with empty dreams

i'm not worth my own fearful mumbles

i can't escape the overwhelming dread

nothing can work out

the end is near

i cannot hold anyone close

i'll lose them all

the scars resurface

the sadness returns

long forgotten memories come rushing back

no, this is different

no longer me

everything i strived for is lost

love is not an option

i don't know what to do now that i'm gone

regret haunts me

my new guilt is undying

not new, but underlying in every thought

a life based on regrets is no way to live

live life to the fullest, that doesn't work

all you're left with is fear and doubt

no one wants to keep me, throw me away

then you say you want me back

your new love has no love for you

she wants me too

a new love for an old love

a flame everlasting

a fire that cannot be put out

but it is forbidden nonetheless

i can't keep you

i can't keep her

i can't keep myself going like this

a disasterous fate

a lifelong insanity

yes, that's what it is

i'm crazy, simple as that

none of this is real

it's all one big nightmare

a nightmare called hideous existence

Tear my heart to pieces

my body to even more

let me fade to nothing

let every childhood fear turn to dust

free my mind

let my soul find rest

too many directions i am torn in

i smack my head against the wall

in hopes that the pain will last

tear me open, make me bleed

open the path to salvation

but does one even exist

she said that she said

does anything ever last

let me find peace, but there is none

body count rising

sweat dripping slowly from my brow

just keep walking

there is no stopping now

it needed to be done

but there need to be more

alone at sunset, i drift in and out feely

savage midnights

blood splatters covering me

no one notices

i smile faintly as another life is taken

another night's work: done

No one's there

where once were friends, i now look away

alone, desolate, deserted in the darkness

fun is unknown, i do not understand it

the drudgery of life is what there is

i am here to pick up the pieces

of everyone's falls

walking along with my dustpan and broom

oh how i would take that broom and fly into the starry night

but i have to be here

to take care of everyone

to make sure they don't screw up

i am responsible for everyone's reputation

a slipup, and it's on me

praise goes to them

i am just a worker

behind the scenes, my home

no retribution for the silent little girl

only silence, fear, and a dustpan

sad words, thrown together

a strand of characters

meaningless voices

hushed whispers

resonating booms

words, nothing more

gliding through a moonlit night

floating over weathered markers

asleep in a statue's arms

shining down, the moon finds the truth

glaring upon you from above

lost forever

soulless animated corpse is all that's left

unholy beast wandering the darkness

shadow is your escape

cold night wind encircling your twisted form

no longer human

disfigured

hated

hunted

frigid dusk around you

night encircling you

a rush of emotions pouring in

the last glimpse of daylight

the romance of the last breath is gone

body in decay

soul in limbo

mind in the eternal state of twilight

loss of innocence, consuming

loss of self, irreversible

loss. . .

Free I fly

Disaster sure to follow

Up over the trees and buildings

To find myself I fly

To escape the bound life I now leave behind

Visions of sugar-plums and slithering snakes

Crawling into my body, flying out of it

Twisting round the trees and bricks

Winding my way down the corridors and holes

Failed attempts to fly will never teach me

Away I go to find what I need

Music pounding in my head

My eyes are closed yet away I go

Arms out, wide open

Dropping down then up I go

I find it hard to be myself

But myself is all I know

These other people around me don’t know

Just clones of each other

This girl beside me looks like me

She talks like me, she sings like me

She can’t be me

This boy beside me thinks like me

Likes the same things as me

Imagines a better world like me

But he can never be me

As I drift past these replicas I think to myself

How am I so like them yet so not

Or is it they are like me

That I am the original and they are my children

Let me be your monster baby

Ride along side me

Or maybe just ride me

My darkness consumes you

My graveyard mannerisms intrigue you

Let my fire light your way

Torch burns bright in the middle of the night

Undead lover, be mine

Moonlit romance

Sinister visions invade

Mid-night rendezvous again takes my mind

All Hallow’s frozen memories linger still

Let me be your monster baby

And you can be my comatose queen

Take away the mental and give me physical

pain is what i'm searching for

my psychological anguish is too much to bear

the blade looks ever happier

rusty with a subtle glimmer

tears streaming down my face

nothing's gone right

downhill, the downward spiral

everything's driven me to this

pulled across my milky-white arm

lashes of metal

on and on i go

i- who is that?

insignificant little worm

quiet little girl alone with a dustpan and broom

everyone dependent upon me

to clean up their mistakes and take the blame

there's no reason to continue this

FUCK

closer to my naked wrist

the shining blade gains intensity

eyes open wide then close in ecstasy

slide it up and down

free me from this torment

make me bleed

a crimson pool collects beneath me

the deed is done

the fluid streams out

my tongue laps against my wounds

the blood is the life

do i really want to keep this up?

the blood is the life

i fade