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well me and bob got into a fight just a lil bit ago and i accidentaly threw my engagement ring at him and now i have it back on my finger and said sorry but i dont know what he will end up doing.he ended up telling my mother about it and she said that i have only one hour to patch things up wit him or else its trouble.she said she would be comming now to get me if we dont work things out.im really worried about whats going to happen to us.i dont want us to end.i really am scared that i came so close to just slitting my throat.he just doesnt see how much he means to me and i hate it.i wish he would grow up and stop acting like he does.i grabbed ahold of him and over and over again said i was sorry but he just said get the fuck off of me and let me go.now i just am really scared and confused and worried and idk whts going to happen.well this is all i can write right now concidering that me eyes are covered in tears at the moment.well g2gn ttyl c-ya all later I HOPE

i miss you so bad.i wont forget you.oh its so sad.i hope you can hear me.i remember it clearly. the day you slipped away was the day i found it wont be the same.i didnt get around to kiss you goodbye on the hand. i wish that i could see you again but i know i cant.ive found that my wake up wont wake up.i keep asking why, i just cant take it anymore.it wasnt fake it happend that you passed by.now your gone there you go.somewhere i cant bring you back.somewhere your not coming back.i miss you.

i cannot find a way to describe it. its there inside. all the pain i thought i knew. all the thoughts lead back to you.i cant handle this confusion. im unable come take me away.i fell like im all alone all by myself i need to get around this.i dont want to hurt you.the truth isnt far behind.when i turn the lights out when i close my eyes reality overcomes me. im living a lie.my heart is broken.ill sit on the bed alone staring at the phone."he never made me feel like i was special.he really wasnt what i was looking for" this is when i start to bite my nails and clean my room when all else fails.suddenly i am small and the world is big. all around me is moving fast.surrounded by so many things. i am young i get tired and i get weak.i get lost and i cant sleep.would you comfort me? would you cry with me?my feelings i hide.my dreams i cant find.im loosing my mind.im falling behind.i cant find my place.im loosing my faith.im falling from grace all over the place.who knows what could happen. just kepp on laughing. how do you always have an opinion and how do you always find the best way to compromise.i looked away then looked back at you.if i had my way i would never get over you.todays the day ill sit and pray tht maybe we can make it through the fall.just make it htrough it all.i dont want to ffall to pieces.i just want to sit and stare at you.i dont want to tlk about it. i dont want a conversation.i just want to cry in front of you. i dont want to talk about it cause im in love with you.your the only one id be with till the end. when i come undone you bring me back again.back under the stars and back in your arms.i want to know who you are and where to start.i want to know what this means. i want to know how to feel and i want to know what is real.i want to know everything.

i sit and sometimes wonder how you could love me so much still after all the hell i put you through. i mean i cursed at you and broke your heart many of times. i made you cry so much and it kills me inside to know that i have hurt someone so sweet and kind such as yourself. if i had one wish it would be that we could go back to how we was before all of this mess when i was able to call you mine. i want to be called your angel again but i know that wont happen seeing i am with someone else now cuz that wouldnt be fair to him. im never going to forget you hun and i hope you never forget me either. ill never forget those times when we would talk for so long and have so many laughs. speaking of laughs that is another thing ill never forget, your laugh which i still think till this day is so gorgeous. those eyes and your gorgeous hair ill always remember. i still hope and pray that i sometime get to meet you in person.cuz the first thing that i would like to do is tell you face to face how sry i truly am for how badly ive hurt you. im really a nice person. i just dont understand what would possess me to be so unkind to you. i dont understand, even though we have not yet met in person i have so many strong feelings for you. no matter what im always going to have a place for you in my heart as more than a friend. mein tumse pyaar karti hunn JACK. ill never let you go never i promise. i care for you so deeply that nothing can make me let you go so easily. i just want to be your ROSE again and you be my JACK. i will continue to listen to our song even when im old if i dont end up marrying you. when i have kids in the future you are whom i will tell them about. i will show them your letters and teach them never to hurt a heart so golden and genuine as i did. im going to tell you now that no matter what im going to meet you someday. that is one of my life goals. i want to meet my first love that i will love for the rest of my life. even after death ill still remember you. you have so much love to give that ill never meet someone as wonderful as you. i know its hard to understand why i left you if what im about to say is true but hun i even get confused on why i did it. you are the first person who has made me feel so wonderful about myself. you made me smile all the time even till this day i still smile when getting to talk to you. you have been the only guy who has treated me so wonderful that i felt as if i was royalty or something. nobody will ever be better than you huney and thats a promise. you gave me something that nobody else has before and thats hope. hope that ill get to see dusty ray again. hope that ill make it famous someday. you helped make me believe in myself like ive never done before. you have given me a reason to live and that is true from the heart.after i lost dusty ray i didnt want to continue breathing. but you talked me through everything and helped me realize that my life is to wonderful to just throw away like that. the way i see it is that you saved my life and for that i owe you my life. if you ever need anything just ask me and i will be there to give it 200% and try to help out.well i know this is kind of long now.but this is all from my heart. there will be a lot more entries like this one later on.well i have to go for now. i know i didnt say your real name on here but when i mention JACK and ROSE i know you know who you are.well g2gn ttyl c-ya hun