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When will there be a day that people can where clothing and it been seen as only that, a garment to keep out the weather?



When will there be a day when we can listen to music and people see it purely as music and not discriminate against those who listen?



When will there be a day when we can talk with friends and have no questions asked as to their intentions when can friends be seen as what they purely are, a comfort and a life saver?



When will our interests be left to purely that our interests, purely our own not an others to judge us by?



When shall the world be free from prejudice, from judgement?



When shall we walk freely amongst others with no fear of their prejudices?



Alas the answer is oh so clear, as with all things that mean to change the wrongs of society.



The answer is never.



We live in a world of hate of difference and fear of the unknown. This is our curse we may seek to remedy it but this is a hopeless task. Our world has a terminal disease. Nay our people. And the heart sickening thing is there is no cure. There will always be Prejudice and those who discriminate are the ones whoes ideas will live on imorataly.



But such is life.

good bye my friends i feel i can no longer live up to expextaions, or keep up this lie must disapear and fade

Some times people do the stupidest of things, by people I mean me. I have done many stupid things in my life. Many you will know of or be part of or have helped me through. Right now my most recent down fall is greed, lust and selfishness. I went to seek out friends with similar interests as me. I found many in abundance. Alas it is seen to be wrong to have friendship with such people of such age differences. Upon meeting up with said companions I developed more of a liking towards one. Within days of our first encounter the opportunity arose to meet again. I hastily accepted and upon meeting various things happened which should not have happened considering my attachment to an annother guy. Upon my return home and when given the opportunity to discus the days events I gushed forth my confessions to a trusted friend and adviser. I then when given the chance told my lover and was struck by both horror and shame. That night awake I lay as thought upon thought marched its heavy drumbeat from within the fortress of immobile thoughts. Tears, come they did. Regret by hell it did. Hate like fire it did. Self hate with the passion of a thousand suns. Anger come it did. All the companions of such feelings sat with my thought the night and the next day and the next. Some are still with me now as I write this. The cage within my chest muffles and blurs what is real I do not know. As like the sea my mind changes with every passing wind. I feel cold, oh so cold now as the curtains seem to draw against all lights that try, vainly to show me hope. If given two lights and the opportunity to follow one alone. Which is the best choice? The light which has been shining weather dimly or brighter at times for a long long time or to chose the light which has just been kindled, the light which shines anew with new reason new passion. I myself find it hard to dance alone, one cannot tango with out a partner and I myself feel that to dance is to feel the joys of life enhanced. Should I accept fate? But alas to lament what I have lost would be to accept loss. But have I lost? Or have I merely been gifted another light, another opportunity to differ the path which I take. To breathe, to prolong life, to prolong the time in which you chose which path to chose and how to proceed along it. All paths lead some where all lead eventually to the same place but let us not talk of this place for there are many other stops upon this journey. Some of which will give us other routes upon which we can travel crossroads shall we say.



Sitting here I have become yet again confused. My stew of thoughts has been stirred by yet another stick. Do I really deserve to have any one want after me? To peruse me with the passion which some do? Why do you, do you need me to have some one to mother and look after like a small pet? Or do you simply want me for physical reasons? Do you simply enjoy my company? That is hard to believe as I am a bore and depressing slag. I have dragged many though puddles which they could easily have sidestepped. I am a mill stone why do you wear me around your neck? To whence to you drag me? I will be carried upon your tides if I feel they are blown by some winds of good intentions. I am a leaf to be blown easily by the winds of some one’s breath as they suggest one thing or another. I feel as if to truly know my own thoughts I must go into a recluse in to a small bubble that deflects all the feelings of the word, letting only my thoughts penetrate. If one self hates and feels unworthy of love I am told there is only on road to follow along. But to follow this road is fatal and one way. In doing such a thing would mean cutting oneself of from help, hope and pain forever. Yet again I shall talk of dancing if one follows this road they can never dance. If they wish to dance then let it be known that there are other paths also although they may be hidden by falsities.