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One night a lady pregnant with triplets was walking by and a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her in the stomach three times.



Her docter told her that he couldn't perform surgery because it would be too risky.



All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying.



"Whats wrong?" asked the mother.



"I was taking a pee and a bullet came out".



"It's ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.



A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?"



"Yes" replied the girl.



"It's ok" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago.



A week later the boy came running in crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. "No" replied the boy, "I was playing with myself and shot the dog!!!!!!!!

COMMENTS

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Eleanna
17:34 Feb 07 2010

lol!

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reaper1203
17:48 Feb 07 2010

wow now thas a gd one lol

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Viagra Mickey Finn!





An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive.



'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.



Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."



'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee,he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.'



A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went.



'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'



What happened?' asks the doctor.



'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to

make wild passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible!



'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'Was the sex not good?'



'Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years...

but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again!'

1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'. 10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m. 17. Dinner and a movie - it's the whole date instead of just the beginning of one. 18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information. 19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'. 21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. 22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi, Ho-Ho's. 23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.