The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am a Father, and as such, I get bent when I hear about a father who doesn't spend quality time with his kids. I get bent when I hear that he really doesn't love them or want anything to do with them except as a way to control his ex.



My kids are my life, even the ones who are not mine, but I helped to raise. I consider them my kids. I try to email them as I can to see how they are doing. I can't leave afghanistan for several more months yet, but they know when I am done here I will visit each one of them, even if it is to say I love them. My girlfriend knows this and understands, she might not like the fact i have to travel from washington thru idaho to see one, then go to texas to see another one, then off to illinois to see my last one, but this is what I am going to do. If I knew where they all were, I would visit every child that I had helped to raise.

I will be going away again. I no not for how long. Will be heading down to southern afghanistan soon. Down where the bombs land and bullets fly almost daily. Will let you all know when I get there and settled in. get to train some folks on the systems i use up here.

OMG!



I so enjoy thinking about her all night long, even when I am workin on stuff for the Army. Even when I am working on my novel. I even get a bit distracted, dreaming of sweet, wicked, naughty fantasies, so much so, I have to jot them down and they end up being erotic short stoiries. I am afraid what would happen if she was here right now, I wouldn't be able to get anything done......LMAO!!!!!



I wouldn't mind it a bit!!!!!!

if she could read my nasty little mind she would either jump me, or run for the hills.

give it to me baby---jus a lil bit!!!!!

Just wanted to note here that if it wasn't for a very special person, then my profile wouldn't be so GREAT as most of you seem to think it is.



So with my most sincere heartfelt thanks:



Thank You CHORDEWA!

i have been working on my novel for a year now. for several months after i got here in afghanistan, i had writers block. couldn't find my way thru the immense task of finishing it. i kept going back and editing it. Tonight I finally got past my block and started fleshing out the exsisting chapters and working on the rest of it.



in my mind the novel is finished, i just have to put it to paper. when i do finish it i will post it on the "coven of darkness incarnate" site under book reviews. i hope that those who read it will message me and tell me what they think. then i will find an editor, an agent, and a publisher and get it published. i hope to do that before i leave here.



i want to thank the only person who broke thru to motivate me to finish this.



Thank You Beth!!!

I Love You Sweety!!

I wonder if she knows that when I hear her voice on the phone I get a huge smile on my face. No matter what kind of day I am having, she manages to make it better with her voice. She makes me laugh when I want to scream at the world. She provides a most wonderful distraction from my dreary day. I will be oh so glad to get out of here and be with her.

as a man i was raised not to show my emotions. to bottle them up and bury them deep inside. for most of my life i have done just that. then one day they came exploding outward and i became overloaded. 13 years of marriage gone due to the ex cheating on me because i killed whatever love there was due to not showing my love for her. 3years being divorced and my emotions running wild. i have finally found a most wonderful woman and this love of hers threatens to overwhelm me. I will not change a thing. I would shower her with all of the love in my being. I would let her see my tears, my anguish, my pain, for I don't want to ever make the mistakes I have made in the past. I cannot tell her everything. some things need to stay buried. but i will share as much of me as i can. I never want to hide behind a mask. i never want to be false with her. I only want to strive to make each day for her the happiest in her life. I want to love her like she has never been loved before. i want to care for her like no other man before me. I want to make sweet love to her. I want to see her smiles. I want to hear her laughter.



I know I am getting corny so I will stop. I hope that she will see how much she means to me.



and I want to pinch her ass so badly just to hear her squeal!!!!

does she know that i love her?

can she feel my heart?

can see guess that it is me that visits her while she goes about her day?

does she feel my tears as i fall asleep, wondering if I will get the honor of coming home to her?

will she ever see how much her love means to me?

someday if i am allowed, I will sneak up behind her, wrap her in my arms, and whisper in her perfumed ear "I Love You Beth" then bite her neck just below said ear.

does she know how much i want to pinch her ass?

does she know how much it will mean to me to just lay next to her and fall asleep???



someday Beth, someday!

Thanks for stopping by to read my lowly journal. I hope that it keeps you all amused, maybe makes you laugh. I use this instead of writing on paper. it is so much easier. anyway, thanks again for stopping by. it might not be the best journal out there, but it is what I feel from day to day.

I am on duty again for a 20 hour shift. I know that it is not as bad as being in iraq. I also know that I should not complain. I volunteered for this and I have no right to bitch or moan. I hope that I can keep this up. I am beyond exhaustion as these funky hours are getting to me. I have no idea how many more of these 20+ hour days I have to pull till the product I am working on is done, but I hope it is real soon so I can get some sleep.



I will be glad to get home to my mate, then I can curl up next to her and as I fall asleep I will whisper to her that I Love Her.

Feel free to hit on my mate. I will say this. she is mine. i love and trust her. I know where her heart is. I hold it in my hand. She will not have sex with any of you, nor will she ever love you. none of you can give her what she wants and needs. I CAN.



So good luck. wish you all the best, but at the end of the day or night, she is mine, and I am hers. I know when this deployment is up and I can go home that she will be there waiting for me, not you.

well i have had about 4 hours sleep since my last entry, and i am back on duty. I hope I can focus on my duties and get stuff done. am drinking mass coffee and peeing like every 5 minutes, but i have to be here for another 12 hours. i have already worked 20 hours. i am trying not to snap at everyone which is why i am glad i work the grave shift.



i sure could use some energy right now!!!

just got done with a 12 hour shift and found out that I have to pull another 8 hours for a detail (work), then i get 4 hours off then right back to my regular 12 hour night shift. Man this is going to be a very long F***ing day!!!!!



Don't expect niceness from me for the next 24 hours. It ain't going to be happening!!!!



I will try to be civil or better yet, I will not be online so as to not hurt anyones feelings!!!!

I have had a couple of you stop by and say thanks for my service to my country.



I thank you for that!



There are many soldiers who have given their lives for their country. Their families deserve your comfort and praise and prayers. I have lost several friends so far to this war which started with the bombing of the world trade center. This is why I am over here.



The truth is I was destined to do this since before I was born. I have walked away several times, wanting a more quieter life, but I kept coming back. I stopped fighting it and will serve for as long as I am able.



There are others who do not serve. don't hate them for that is the life they have chosen.



I serve so that they can live as they see fit. that is why America is the greatest nation in the world--we have the right to live as we want. I will continue to serve so everyone in the world can see how great we are in our diversity.

We should take pride in ourselves for we can be whatever we want to be. Not everyone in the world can say that.



The people here on VR are a great bunch of folks. Thanks for allowing me to be here as I serve my country.



I love you all!!!



PS: I Love My Beth most of all!!!

I just want to go home, am tired of trying to figure out these crazy people who want to blow themselves up trying to kill us. I am suposed to gather the info and plot where they will try to hit us next and with what. My head is so screwed up trying to think like they do that I forgot what my life was like before I got here.



I can't tell anyone what it is like crawling around inside someones head. I hate it. I want to be me. I get so frustrated and angry. The only happiness I have is when my mate emails me or writes something special in her journal, or when I get to call her and listen to her voice.

I am pretty sure by now that others have tried to fill my mates head with the notion that all I am after is sex. that I lust after her body. that this relationship won't last a few weeks much less a lifetime.



I am not even going to try to argue with those I don't know or see. I shall see if she is strong enough to get thru all that and see for herself if I Love her or Lust after her body.



Just between you and me---If I had wanted only sex, I could have gone anywhere in the world for that. Instead I went to see her. I wanted to see if the person I met on the net was real.



Now I know that the person on the net was real and I spent more than a couple of days to find out. I am spending most of my time working for the army and getting to know her via email and phone calls. I realize that one cannot learn a lot about another when you are apart from them, but we will know enough to want to see each other again and get to know more of each other in person.



PS: I do Love her AND I do Lust after her body--so I get the best of both worlds, and last time I checked, she wasn't complaining. I even told her I would cook her dinner if she could stomach my cooking.....LMAO!!!!!

my mate can write paragraphs about how much she loves me and misses me and wants me in her life.



me, i can only say how i love her, about one line. i normally don't say much. i save my writing for my novels and poems, but i wish i could tell her how much i love her and want to be with her. to hold her in my arms forever, to make love to her til we can't make love anymore. to snuggle with her while watching a movie. to walk in the park holding hands. to wrap up in a blanket and watch the sun set.



anyway, i better quit before i get way to corny.



baby, i love you with all my heart

well, i got 5 hours of sleep. wohoo!!!! doin better. no nightmares!!!!!! don't know what woke me up, but i gotta go workout before my shift starts.



Beth, I love you!!!!

The nightmares continue; this time we are on the firing range at the base of a mountain range. during the course of us firing, a sniper up in the mountain shoots a buddy of mine. Since i am qualified, i start treating him. unfortunately he dies. i wake up bathed in sweat. I have been plagued with these kinds of nightmares for weeks now. only twice i was able to pass out without remembering anything. I know not what fuels these nightmares, but i will be so glad to get out of this place and pray they stop. i have migraines now because of them. I am so sick that i can barely function while on shift. I work nights so i can fake it for a few hours til the others go off shift. I have told no one about any of this for fear of being deemed crazy and locked up in a looney bin---LMAO, like bellreve in smallville. I haven't told my mate this either. she has enough to worry about without having to worry about me too.

what the future may hold for me, I don't know. All I can do is plan and dream. I want to finish my time with the military (7 more years). I want to finish and publish my novels. I want somone who loves me to share my life with. It matters not to me if I am rich or poor (would rather be rich) if there is no one to share it with.



That being said, I want Beth (my mate) to share in my life. Whatever may happen in the future, I want her to be a part of it. I want to go to bed at night with her and wake up in the morning to her smiling face. I truly can say that i don't want any one else. no one night stands, no booty calls, nothing, just her. I am a bit too old to be chasing after a woman, any woman. I am a bit too old to play games, unless it is games of a sexual nature with my mate.



Beth, I Love You

once again i am here. with little sleep and no food in me, i am back on duty. only 6 hours to go til i can eat again. went to the range to fire my weapon. man, we had to stop several times to chase the locals away. they don't get the concept that a bullet travels pretty far and can kill them if they wander too close. A decent bath and a shot of whiskey would be great right now, and some sweet, slow lovin all night long would make the day worth living. 8 more months to go and then I can put this behind me and get on with the love making and writing.



My mate says she has to make decisions for her and her boys. I hope that she can trust me enough to know she can tell me anything and not fear that I would get mad or upset.



I am covered in so much dirt that I want to go and take a shower. (I was late for my shift).



Beth Riffle, I Love You!

while i sleep tonight. i will send my astral shadow out to play. those that shall try to steal my mate away, shall feel my presence surround them and chase them away. be thankful that this will be a warning only. for the next time i shall do far far worse.

for those that want my mate;



feel free to try to seduce her away. just consider this; I am not a nice person, so if you don't listen to her, then you WILL deal with me. I won't be gone forever and I will let the demon out to hunt. If you think I joke or jest. Keep in mind that I have been in the miltary for over 23 years and am well trained. I won't hesitate to hurt, maime or kill whoever gets in my way. I have been to jail for this several times before. I have stated in my profile that I will hunt those who mess with my family, my mate is my family. So be warned. This is the only warning you shall ever recieve.

Beth,



I love you. I want you to be a part of my life. I cannot fight or reason with those who try to seduce you. Nor will I try to stand in your way if you decide to give in. I will be here if you want me. I will never tell you what you should or should not do. I will not try to control you or force you to do what you would not. If you find that they can offer you more then I shall walk away.



I Love You is all I can say

A single tear runs down my face as I try to control the rage that is building up inside of me. I cannot fight the men who want her since i am so far away. i cannot let my demon out for fear of her saying i am an animal. i can not let him roam for if i do then a moron shall die. I love her so i keep the demon in check. I fight for my country so others can be free. Free to hit up on the woman I love while I have to stand by and control my demon. Free to try to seduce her away from me. She prays to God for strength. I pray to keep my demon in check. I pray for love to rule me not hate or jelousy.

i am sitting here at work trying to not be bored. i keep thinking of my mate and the week that we got to spend together. i get so damn horny just thinking about it. just picturing in my mind her hot sexy naked body against mine. how her face got that wild and crazy look just before she came all over me. the way she looked at me as i slid my... never mind. damn I will end up getting kicked off of here if i keep this up.



lets just say she makes me so horny.



I will always love her, and it is not just for her body.

Just a quick entry for today.



I love her. I don't think she realizes just how much. Wish this war was over and I was home. I could show her just how much. I don't know what the future may hold for me as far as work is concerned, but whatever happens, I will do my best to be there for her as much as possible. I know others are hitting up on her, and her ex is telling her that I couldn't love her and that all I want is sex. I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but if sex was it then I would have had sex then left after a couple of days. Instead I spent a week with her and wished I could have spent more time. I could have went to Austrailia and went bed hopping with my friends I know over there.



I know the next 8 or so months will be hard for her as others try to make her dump me and have sex with them. There is nothing I can do if she decides that a moments gratification is what she wants. There is nothing I can do if she finds someone else who makes her happy. All I can do from here is tell her that I love her and will continue to love her no matter what may happen. I know she needs someone there to hold her and to help her raise her boys. Since I am in the army, I can't always be there for her, but I will certainly try my best. Someday soon my army career will end then I will be there for her and work on my novels and maybe flip burgers or something. Which ever way it goes I will be there to help her, to love her, to comfort her cause I love her.

I enjoyed our talk on the phone. I so wish that I was there in your bed snuggled close to you. I would lie my head on your breast and fall asleep listening to your heartbeat.

I love you with all my heart and no man can say that I don't love you cause they don't know me.

There will come a day when our wishes will come true and we can be together again. On that day you will see in my heart how much I really do love you. For now you will have to settle for what you can feel.



I LOVE YOU sgtsneakysgirl!!!!

I was told that my lovely mate is going to show up at the airport in a skirt and no panties.

man if she even does that then i will find a spot right there and fuck her brains out. i will so fill her full of cum that she will have to clean it up before we leave the airport!!!! then i will fuck her in the parking lot, then when i get her home. she will be so sore that she won't walk right for a month!!!!



yes honey i love you, but i am extremely horney and i will make love to you after we screw the hell out of each other

i am sitting here in pain cause of my knee. thank God i don't have to seriously work my ass off tonight. in a few hours i am going to go to bed and sleep. i have to be back and walk all over this base looking for other soldiers who are thinking about having sex wih others. the general has decided that that is a no-no. so i get to go look for these soldiers. so i will be doped on pain pills to keep the knee from hurting.



Beth i love you sweety!!!!



wish i was in your arms!!!!

Ok, I guess I will never understand women. My mate left cause others were hitting up on her, and now she is back on VR. I suppose that she will let me know whats up.

after yesterday i realize that if i don't get to go home then i won't be able to say to her face how much i really love her and miss holding her in my arms. I realize that if i didn't love her i wouldn't worry about going home again. I am so close to love. it is almost in my grasp, if i can go home then i would show her how much i really love her. I never know when my time will be up. all i can do is wake up every day and do my duty for my country and pray each time when i go to bed to be allowed to wake up again and for the chance to go home and be with her. I know that it is not up to me, but i swear that i will fight each and every day for the chance to go home to her. if i don't and go to *heaven* then i will fight to let

god know that i want her and would do anything to be with her.

ok new day
ight for me. yesterday i was out and about doing stuff and went from one base to another. while i was walking from base to base, a suicide bomber decided he wanted to attack the ministry of the interior of afghanistan, well they were on the lookout for possible attacks so they were serching every vehicle and he couldn't get close enough so he got scared and detonated the bomb and blew himself up. this happened a couple of blocks from where i was. so they shut down all the routes back to the base i came from so we went on a long detour around town to make it back.

once i got back my boss found out that i and the guys took a jaunt from base to base on foot and so i got in trouble.

I am back from my day trip or mission if you will. a few blocks from where I was at a suicide bomber decided that he was going to blow up something. he didn't get close enough and got scared he would be caught, so he blew himself up. because of that they closed all the routes back to where I stay. so we had to drive the long way aroung Kabul. man what a ride! imagine driving 80 to 100 miles an hour down a two lane road and have vehicles pop in and people and donkys running around as well. throw in a stalled vehicle in the road and you have an interesting ride.

Talked to my mate and she has decided to grow a pair and tell her ex to go ruin his own life. i love her enough to wait for her to let me know if she wants this to work.



so my knee still is screwed up. am hoping that i can work around the pain and rubbery feeling i get whenever i walk on it.