July 11, 2007
My Dog died today around 5:40pm. I am so sad and upset...why her? I raised her since she was little bitty..and it was a random gift from my dad. I loved her so much and im going to miss her... seriously, she was the only one that i could have ever trusted and the only one that i could talk to and share ALL of my secrets with...My poor April... she didn't deserve to die...
I went outside and she was fine, she was just being herself.. i gave her a bath and she did what she usually does and just watched me give the other dogs a bath as well..she was fine! she ate, drank water..we played for a while then i went back inside for about an hour or two to clean and i went back outside to play with her somemore but i couldnt find her so i started playing with the puppy but then she came out of no where and just layed in the plants, i got up to get on to her because she knows she's not suppose to do that but she wouldnt move or even look at me...i thought she was mad at me so i started petting her and nothing..i tried to give her water but she wouldnt drink...so i got her and i took her inside for a long while, i told my friend that i thought would give me some comforting words whats happening, but she didnt take it seriously then i discovered that April was bleeding through the back side of her...so i told my friend and she said "She is good as dead" and that just made me so mad because she didnt understand how much i cared for that dog and how close we were...and i didnt want her to die..so i just stopped trying to get her to comfort me... i took her back outside and layed her down and kept her away from the bugs and i was just talking to her telling her to get better and that i need her now than ever... that's when she started having these sesuire (sp.?) type thing and i started crying...i didnt know what to do...i knew she was dying..i just sat there and waited so i called my friend to tell her but she just said she would call me back so i was like okay..but then April just stoped moving...and i called to her and i yelled and moved her and she wasn't breathing...i couldnt do anything for her...it was her time to go...i ran inside to tell my mom and she looked at me and just said "Oh well" and my heart just broke some more i couldnt do anything..i wanted to..and no one seemed to care...but i did. My friend finally called back after i text her that she died...but i couldnt talk to her.. i was so angry at her that she couldnt sit there for a while and be there for me...i was covered in blood and i was crying..I was so scared...Now i have no one to talk to...no one to understand me...no one to care like she did and not judge me.
I will miss you so much my April 13 .. i love you.
.RIP.
Okay so im sitting here drinking...all by myself.
*sigh* this sucks so much...
Atleast i got to spend a couple of hours with the person i really wanted to be with...
but anyway, i just came back from my brothers house and it was fun. we were playing guitar hero and drinking and popped fire works outside... i feel extremely sad right now...
okay so i went to this website online and i did this tarot reading thing...i took the liberty of copy pasting the cards and meaning that i got..but dont worry, i left the copyright symbol on the cards. and i will provide what the link was after i am done.
the whole point of this is so that someone could explain to me what each thing means because basically it is telling me to let go of the past and move on not thinking and reacting the way i used to...
i just need you opinion.
Here's the Free Advertisment:
http://www.tarot.com/tarot/
So, please...help me.
COMMENTS
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Isis101
23:37 Oct 20 2008
Awwww...what a cutie! Sorry for your loss.