The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"Marriage" ANOTHER FACTS OF LIFE.....
17:54 Oct 15 2007
Times Read: 600

i like a good laugh so here are some of my faorvite quote on marriage:



(ok a man is talking to a dummy)



1.) man- "so how long have you been married?"

dummy- "46 years"

m- what was the happiest day of your life?"

d- "47 years ago"



2.) dummy- "you know... marrage is like a slurpie."

man- " how that?"

d- "well the 1st few sip of the slurpie your like ' WOW!!! im glad i did this' then all of a sudden your like 'FUCK!!!!! OWWWWW.....what the hell was i thinking?' "

m- "yea but sooner or later it goes away dont it?"

d- " yea..... but then your stuipd enough to take another sip!!!"



3.) m- " my wife is the greatest thing that had ever happen to me."

d- " yea.... well my wife just wakes up jumps on her men-cycle and just runs my ass over!!!"

m- "NO!!"

d- " yea sounded like this too (sound of a motorcycle) 'nag,nag,nag,nag,nag,nag' "



4.) m- "there are always beautiful women out there to talk to."

d- "you cant talk to them."

m- "why not?"

d- " mmmm.... u see that hott chick sitting there?"

m- "yes"

d- "oh well......all you can do now is just run to the end of your chain and BARK!!!!"



5.) d- " you know the saying at wedding ' till death do us apart' ?"

m- "yes"

d- "after being with that person for a while you actually setting yourself a goal!!! 'cant wait to die or you die!!!!' "



GREAT WASNT IT!!!! LOL i love these quotes hope u do too if not then KISS MY ASS!!!!

The Facts Of Life
20:02 Oct 11 2007
Times Read: 604

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high and droped his fly and asked Jill if she wanna Jill said yes and dropped her dress and they did the hanky panky Jil forgot to take her pill and out cam lil FRANKY!!!





Moral: Never Smoke weed with out taking your pill because only hell knows what you can do when your high.



lol isnt it lovely hehehehe

SEX
19:50 Oct 09 2007
Times Read: 609




Roses are red

Lemons are sour

Open ur legs and give me an hour



Kissing Is A Habit

Fucking Is A Game

Guys Get All The Pleasure

Girls Get All The Pain

10 Minutes Of Pleasure

9 Months Of Pain

3 Days In The Hospital

A Baby Without A Name

The Baby Is A Bastard

The Mother Is A Whore

This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber Hadn't Tore!!



Sex is like math

You subtract the clothes

Add the bed

Divide the legs

And Pray to god

You dont multiply



Roses are red

Grass is green

Open your legs

And I'll fill you with cream



Sex is good

Sex is fine

Doggy Style & 69

Just for fun

Or gettin paid

Everyone likes gettin laid



u opened it so u r cursed for 5 yrs. u need to read it ENTIRELY!!



roses are nice

violets are fine.

ill be the six

if you be the nine.



Repost this as ''sex poem''



if u repost this in 1 min: the guy /girl that you like will tell u that he/she loves u and that he wants to go out with u.



if u repost this in 2 min: the guy/girl that you like will give you a hug and a kiss on the lips



if u repost this in 3 min: you'll find $20