The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Live life for the experience of it all.

Pay attention to everything, every small detail, every leaf on the tree, every grain of sand between your toes.

Never take anything for granted. Make every moment worth remembering.

Cherish your loved ones. They are mortal like you, and may not always be around.

Smile. Even on your worst day.

Breathe in the fresh air. Feel the wind on your brow.

Take chances. You only live once. Try something new every day.

Question everything. In the answers may you find the knowledge of the universe.

Have no regrets, ever. Do it right the first time, and, if you don't, learn from it, and move on. Don't dwell in the past. It cannot be changed.

Take time out to play on a swingset in the middle of the night. You are never too old to play.

Talk. With your friends, with your loved ones, with strangers. Get to know people. Make friends wherever you go.

Say hello. To everyone. Even in passing.

Enjoy the rain. When it is snowing, make a snowman, and when it is sunny, get a tan. Be content with the weather at that moment, never wishing for it to change. Take a moment to watch the storm.

Love. Even if you get a broken heart, never stop loving. Laugh, for that is the key to true love.

Accept change. All things change, in time. It is the way of the universe. What was once new becomes old. This is just the way of things.

Cherish every memory. They make up who we are inside. Look back with fondness and remember the good, the bad, all of it. You are all that you have met.

Stay safe.

I was a dope. I blamed so much on you. As far as I was concerned, my life was in shambles, and I was willing to do anything I could to get over it. And so, I took advantage of you in the worst possible way. Have you ever done that? No, of course you haven't. I took the wrong road. It's just somebody like me does that. And the problem with that was, the whole while I was digging a hole under you...I found out all about you. And the more I found out, the more you dazzled me. I mean, shook my world, changed my life, dazzled me. And guys like my ex, he made me feel that the price that I pay for being me is that I don't get to have love. I tried to tell you, when I was there. I kept telling you that there was something I needed to talk to you about. I guess I just wanted to walk away with you not hating me, but that is not how it worked out. Looking back, I should have told you everything anyway. Better coming from me than someone else. I just didn't have the strength to admit I wasn't complete. I wasn't really a winner. Everything about you, how smart you are, how good you are, how unique you are, everything just made me want you even more. So I guess I am just trying to say I am sorry. I have no excuse for me.

"the quality or state of being strong : capacity for exertion or endurance"



Endurance. We all endure something. We all loose something dear to us sometimes. We all hurt, physically and mentally sometimes. We all fall to ashes and get stomped on by the masses sometimes. And when we find ourselves in that deep dark abyss, we have to ask ourselves, "OK. Now what?"



The light inside my soul died once. Not too long ago. But recently, a match was lit in my heart. Independence, Strength. It wasn't very bright, just a faint whisper, if you will. But slowly, over time, it is growing. It is getting stronger. I am getting stronger.



I am sure, in time, the memory of this pain will be just that, a passing thought, a feeling of dejavu, an inconsequential sneeze in my brain.



I have been spending so much time stomping out all flames in my heart, hiding in the darkness, loving the darkness. But there is no darkness without light. No hate without love. I think it is time enough that I take this small match, this small flame of independence, acceptance, peace, and let it grow. Give it kindling, throw on a log or two. My soul will heal. I will heal.



I will never forget the memories of a life I could have had, but it is time to move on. The magnolias were indeed beautiful, but beauty fades with the winter. I will focus on the here and now. Even the best fall down sometimes, but I am learning to stand back up. And just for today, I will smile. And tomorrow the sun will come up again.

TRANSCENDENCE: n 1: a state of being or existence above and beyond the limits of material experience [syn: transcendency] 2: the state of excelling or surpassing or going beyond usual limits [syn: transcendency, superiority]

In Philosophy:

Transcending the Aristotelian categories.

In Kant's theory of knowledge, being beyond the limits of experience and hence unknowable



Unknowable. My life is in a state of transcendence. I have been told this by a close friend. But I did not know what it meant. So I looked it up. And still I am lost. Not physically, but mentally. Maybe that is what that is. I am existing without a care for material things. I do not, however, find myself superior to anyone.



"Being beyond the limits of experience and hence unknowable." Quite possibly. I used to know my future. I could tell you where I have been, where I am going, what lay ahead for me. I have never had a question of mine go unanswered. I could tell you anything, without knowing, and somehow, the answers were always correct.



Not anymore. I had a close friend call me earlier and ask me a question, something simple, that I should have had the answers for. My reply to her question was, "I don't know." It surprised me. I always know, at least I used to always know. Now I am just lost. I think it has a lot to do with my recent trip. So many things were taken from me, and a lot of it was my own fault. No, all of it was my own fault. I blame no one else. I should, and I could, but I don't.



I am a master of my own devices. Truth and consequences. But I always thought love would endure anything, and that love would forgive a person all their faults. I know, that is nothing but a hollywood pipe dream.



Let's all get together and kick Hollywood, OK? Ooh, and run cupid over with a steam roller, several times.



To love someone is to

Take their heart and kiss is kindly

Then rip it from their chest

And, as it is still beating in your hand

Stab it

Throw it on the ground

Stomp on it several times

Toss it up against the wall

Smear it into the cement

Spit on it

And then feed it to your dog

The whole time saying

I love you

What is truth? If you tell someone something that you truly believe, that you want with all your heart to be true, and can make it true, is that telling them the truth, or are you just lying?



I write books. I have written a lot of books. But, because I am not a famous writer, does that mean if I tell you that I am a writer, I am lying?





And what about your sign-on? If people know you by your sign-on, should they be mad if they meet you in real life, and find out that your sign-on is not your real name? Or should you keep up the masquerade?



What is the truth and what are lies? How would they define you? It is just a question I pose...

I used to love, once. I thought I had found my soul mate. I was wrong. It is amazing, you search your entire life for that connection, that brief interaction that makes the sun brighter, the stars clearer. And in a single moment, that is gone again.



So where to start? Or moreso where to end? Yes, I will start with the end. Even now, it is a mystery to me. I loved a man with every breath of my soul, every beat of my heart. To the depths and back again. I would have given him the world, walked away from all that I knew, and I did, for that one moment, that one memory.



That night was a perfect night. I never felt more connected with anyone in my life, and yet, understandably I was so nervous. It was the first time I was to meet him, and ultimately the last. We walked through the park, held hands, even shared a small kiss. The magnolias were in bloom. I remember thinking how hard it would be to walk away from something so perfect, a love so great that nothing else mattered. But we were both on seperate paths, we knew that. As the evening came to a close, a light rain started to fall. Was I sad because it was raining, or was it raining because I was sad? We said our goodbyes and that was that. Never to meet again.



I had known him for almost a year, though time in this instance really did not matter. We had so much in common, and would talk for hours on end about nothing and everything. I wanted to be nowhere else in the world except in his arms. But I knew that even though things were perfect, and we loved each other with all of our hearts, it could never be. Distance was the vice that ultimately destroyed us both.



And no matter what you may hear, I did truly love him. I would have given him my soul if he had asked. Now I am here, empty, in a dark room, waiting for the end of it all, or the beginning of something much more spectacular. We shall see.



And yes, at the moment, I am walking alone. I must. At least until I find myself again. I cannot allow myself to be destroyed once more. And yet, my soul contradicts itself. I yearn for that one moment again, to find love, to find something more than this. I wake up every morning and stare at the ceiling and think, "This is not my life." And I know that someday I will find what it is I seek, a person that helps me forget about all that has happened, a person that when I look into their eyes, all I see is them, and the past fades away.



I'm falling on the inside

In a darkened crimson sea

Help me to fix this puzzle

You are what's lost in me

Think of me as you pass by

As you are now so once was I

As I am now soon you will be

Accept fate and follow me...





Sarah paused for a moment as she watched the sun rise over downtown. It was so bright and warm and beautiful. She looked across the street and watched the trees sway in the morning breeze. They were so beautiful. She had never seen anything like them before. The bark on the tree was white. The branches had soft purple blossoms running the length of each of them. The flowers were so delicate. Sarah thought "Such is life, one delicate balance."



Sarah turned and started climbing the staircase on the outside of the building. What more could she have done? She was so lost, so tired. It was time for her to go home. She sat on that roof for some time, watching the pigeons flying to and fro, eating their birdseed, oblivious to the turmoil of the world. As she stepped up to the edge, a line from a movie she once watched popped into her head, "I am sure, in time, her death will be a mystery, even to me."