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my last message was me in a weakend state, this is me some of the times but most of the time i need to fight, my music helps with this but i can do it alone i dont need it to get me stronger, i am now strong this is the side you will see, this wont make sense to everyone but i know where i am and i know where i stand, one day u will read this and u will understand i hope untill that day, untill we meet again, alone i stand. i wait to give my body a home.

i have so many question in my life i have too much pain its getting harder each day i really hurt, i dont want sympathy i dont know why i even write this but i want to so i will, death is not close i dont hurt my self and i never give in, soon i will look back on this and know that i am strong, i dont stay in this frame of mind for long. music calm my soul. i like the lyric by the way, so i used it as a title for this piece of text.

Are you there?

Is it wonderful to know

All the ghosts...

All the ghosts...

Freak my selfish out

My mind is happy

Need to learn to let it go

I know you'd do no harm to me



But since you've been gone I've been lost inside

Tried and failed as we walked by the riverside

Oh I wish you could see the love in her eyes

The best friend that eluded you lost in time

Burned alive in the heat of a grieving mind



But what can I say now?

It couldn't be more wrong

Cos there's no one there

Unmistakably lost and without a care

Have we lost all the love that we could share

And its wearing me down

And its turning me round

And I can't find a way

Now to find it out

Where are you when I need you...



Are you there?

There’s no time for us

There’s no place for us

What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away

From us



Who wants to live forever

Who wants to live forever....?



There’s no chance for us

It’s all decided for us

This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us



Who wants to live forever

Who wants to live forever?



Who dares to love forever?

When love must die



But touch my tears with your lips

Touch my world with your fingertips

And we can have forever

And we can love forever

Forever is our today

Who wants to live forever

Who wants to live forever?

Forever is our today



Who waits forever anyway?

you stand there in the mist on the battlefield you look at the ones you must fight and you feel a drop of rain fall from the sky as if it were gods tear who says thou shall not kill, but here is your choice you either kill or be killed there is no third answer to this and you know you must fight, you are dressed in wolfs skin and leather and you look at the ones who you must fight there is so much that you think you cant do it, you think its all too hard, and then you realise who you are and you are not weak, you never were, and you place your head to the sky and you let out a cry of war almost feeling possessed by the wolf you wear, it sound so much like a howl, you look around and you are all alone, its you... its 1 against a million its 1 alone and you smile at the odd as you know you will win. never give in, never loose all your hope. and you will defeat anything.

i've added some picture of me to my profile i want to see what people think of me now, poeple do judge i hope some will see the inner me and not just what i look like. but who cares anyway. i am what i am.

things are hard these days and i dont know why, i know its coming up to christmas and its a stressful time of year but its not that, things are affecting me diffently i'm doing things that are not normal, i want to help people and they seem like they are colder and colder these days, i remember smiling at some one on the street and they would smile back, i remember opening the door and people saying thank you, who cares now, who really gives a fuck about the guy who cares for them? i hope that the blind at least try and see what i'm doing for them but then again i have just answered my own question they are blind arent they? i wont give in on them i will try and try, no matter how much they try and take me down, why do i write this i am just leaving my self open for some one to hurt me again? i hope some day some one will care maybe.

i keep reading on here how scarey movie dont actually scare people and i guess i am just like the rest they dont really bother me either but i dont watch that many, anyway my point is i want to say they scare the shit outta me and i have wet my pants on many dark nights watching them alone (even tho its not true i would like to say this just for fun) but really i didnt like aracnophobia used to have a fear of spiders, and the the night of the living dead (1970's) and the scorpian king ( iknow its not horror but it should be what a pile a shit that was) any way these one time in my life did make me shit a brick or too. :) have a cheerful night

I don't know if I've ever been good enough

I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in

And I don't know if I've ever been really loved

By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give

And I'm a little bit angry, well



This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around

You don't owe me, we might change

Yeah we just might feel good



(Chorus)

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will

I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will

I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will



Well I will



I don't know why you ever would lie to me

Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya

And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me

You couldn't stand to be near me

When my face don't seem to want to shine

'cuz It's a little bit dirty well



Don't just stand there, say nice things to me

I've been cheated I've been wronged you,

And you don't know me, I can't change

I won't do anything at all



(Chorus)

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will

I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will

I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will



Oh but don't bowl me over

Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy, crazy

Don't rush this baby, don't rush this Baby, baby



(Chorus)

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will

I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will

I wanna take you for granted, yeah, yeah, yeah

I wanna take you, take you, yeah, well I will, I will, I will, I will

I will, I will, I will, Yeah, yeah, push you around,

I'll drag you down, I wanna push you around

Well I will