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queenofchaos's Journal


queenofchaos's Journal

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19 entries this month
 

08:58 Oct 31 2017
Times Read: 508



So I snuck out of the house tonight @ 2340 to take myself to Emergency
as I didn't want to wake my babies and worry them

Those that know me, know that's the LAST f'ing place I EVER go

My throat is NOT getting better, nearly 2 weeks of this bullshit sore throat
and now beyond the feeling of swallowing razor blades =(

Absolutely WASTE of time

Dr. after waiting nearly 2 hours says "it's a bad sore throat...and if it doesn't
get better in another week so your family physician.

REALLY? Are you fucking kidding me?

I could have told you that you twat.

Ugg...

I'm done with the world today, and already calling tomorrow too!

Like my son said to me early today...

"You can't seem to catch a break Mom"...

*drops head*

No, son I don't.

COMMENTS

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DarkNightAngel
DarkNightAngel
13:21 Oct 31 2017

sorry chaos your feeling sick...sure hope you feel better soon





 

05:27 Oct 30 2017
Times Read: 527



CRAZY day today...

Ruptured a blood vessel in my left eye ball...

I'm not talking a little "popped" vessel, I'm talking
the entire sclera is blood red =(

Hurt? Yes... How I managed to obtain this,
not THAT'S the question of the day.

Took the children to the Pumpkin Patch and enjoyed a
hay ride, followed by a fun corn maze through the 10 feet
corn stalks...saw some chickens, goats, horses, pot belly pigs
to mention a few.

Picked up some pumpkins for carving and roasting pumpkin seeds...

Then off to work for a few hours, then to my parents for an unexpected supper.

Then off with the kids and a few girlfriends and their kids to a haunted house!
It was hilarious, and scary at the same time.
VERY well done to say the least.

Now I'm home and I can relax my eyeball and get caught up from a
weekend of NO computer time! I miss the days with NO internet TBH.
People actually LIVED and were more a family then today's standards/society.

COMMENTS

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Tristesse
Tristesse
07:39 Oct 30 2017

Sounds like a fun time! I hope your eye feels better and recovers soon. :)





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
08:49 Oct 31 2017

Thank you :)





 

03:37 Oct 29 2017
Times Read: 557



Got a bullet?

I've asked this question to a few folk today.

A pinched nerve in your back, sucks....BADLY

However that still can't seem to lay me up.

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I just say "NO" or "fuck off" to people
and just worry about myself.

For being called selfish, funny I can't STOP putting
others before myself.

Yeah

MORE SELF CARE ON THIS GIRLS PROGRAM

COMMENTS

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SirChaos
SirChaos
04:03 Oct 29 2017

Actually you are the most unselfish person I have ever had the honor of knowing.





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
08:49 Oct 31 2017

Thank you :)





DarkNightAngel
DarkNightAngel
13:24 Oct 31 2017

your a real sweet heart





 

Saw this earlier

02:19 Oct 29 2017
Times Read: 566



Mhmm.

Fuck what you heard.
I keep my circle small and my wall high.
I don't play games and I'll treat you
the say way you treat me.
Be careful not to underestimate me.
My heart is big and I do love hard
but I don't give a fuck even harder.

Now interpret that however the fuck
way you wish.

What applies to you in your life,
or what doesn't...

Be yourself

Change for NO ONE

COMMENTS

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06:42 Oct 27 2017
Times Read: 605



Whoa...
just read something to someone that I've not
looked at or read in about 7 months...

...Fuck...

That's all I can say.

Good note, Monday my son for school has to come to work with me all day!
Eeekkk...really?
I can't WAIT

COMMENTS

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08:32 Oct 26 2017
Times Read: 638



Last year a woman made a video that was so amazing and touching

It was real/raw speaking about Mental Illness - Depression.

She spoke from YEARS of experience, in such a manner that left the majority of people speechless.

Spoke about the ugliness of Depression...the cold hard facts if you will.

I reached out to her today. Asking her if she's ever talk to a group of people about her battle
with this debilitating illness.
She was shocked that I was reaching out to her.
She said "ME?" You want me to talk to who? Nursing students? "You got to be joking"!
My heart was smiling when I replied...telling her I have wanted for the
last year but just hadn't reached out YET.

She said she had never been given the opportunity to present for a group,
to "teach" but she would give it a whirl.

This woman will make a difference in the world on this topic and awareness to it.

I'm so grateful I'm in the position to make it happen...and for it to have such an outstanding

Plus I get to basically see it "live"

Depression is serious, and I hope everyone suffering from it knows...there is help. Please seek it.

COMMENTS

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SirChaos
SirChaos
12:18 Oct 26 2017

This is outstanding. Truly outstanding.





Rupture
Rupture
13:59 Oct 26 2017

it is outstanding





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
08:49 Oct 31 2017

=)





 

08:20 Oct 26 2017
Times Read: 641



I've had such a good day!!

Started off early as they all do...
Crawled into the tub with a beautiful smelling LUSH bath bomb.
The aroma stayed with me till mid day when I could still smell it fresh off my skin

Enjoying work more and more every day. Really finding my feet and being supported
with EVERYTHING I do, is such a wonderful welcomed change

I felt terrible late last week when I had to fail 2 students for not being at the bar I prepared
them for (the bar they NEED to be at) for literally the last 1.5 years.
The bar that I've done everything in my power to prepare them for. The nursing program
is serious, and if I can't trust a student at the end of their schooling before taking them
into ACUTE care with simple skills, I'm NOT passing them. Period.
So how it works they get 1 "redo" and 1 week to prepare themselves for a 2nd re-test.

Well today was that re-test -

For the last 7 days...I sat 1:1 and demo'd...watched their skills 1:1 and ripped everything apart
that they were doing wrong. I told them 100000 x's to utilize me. To have me watch their
skills BEFORE the testing, and if they were doing wrong I'd let them know...direct them etc. BUT
come the test I can't say anything, rather just watch and mark accordingly.

They blew it away!! They walked in and NAILED every component, flawlessly.
I actually had NEVER seen their confidence and such solid skills. I actually started to cry sitting
watching the one guy who literally I've watched grow up this last year.
Me cry....imagine that eh?
The kick in the ass is what they needed. Sometimes when you're so close to the end, you
forget what it took to get there, all the trials and tribulations and you get well "sloppy".

I told them that it hurt to fail them, but because of it...they turned around and remembered how
badly they wanted this, and went after it...and well got it.

Feeling a trembling body pressed up against yours....feeling every emotion with them, knowing
it was the "end" before sending them out on their own, and making a difference literally in someones life,
is priceless.

Another successful set of baby nurses released into the "real world"

COMMENTS

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Rupture
Rupture
14:05 Oct 26 2017

yay





 

I ❤ 831

06:58 Oct 25 2017
Times Read: 675


I ❤ that I saw this the 831 journal post

COMMENTS

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Euphoria
Euphoria
10:15 Oct 25 2017

wow





Veil
Veil
00:07 Oct 26 2017

ohh





 

07:24 Oct 24 2017
Times Read: 716



Just got home from working a 15.5 hour day

It was long but when aren't they... it literally just becomes what I do,
who I am, working such crazy long days.

My client tonight however asked me to come to her place to meet
as she had someone she'd like me to meet.
Turns out the guy has several companies and has liked
my head space and company direction apparently for a few years.

He offered me a pretty sweet deal....to join forces so to speak
So I left there tonight feeling pretty good about the direction I've
taken and that people take notice.

Work for what you want.

Don't sit back and say how you'd "like" to do something....

JUST GO GET IT

No your worth and believe in yourself.

COMMENTS

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Euphoria
Euphoria
15:28 Oct 24 2017

good idael





birra
birra
16:06 Oct 24 2017

Woooooo.... I hope this is really a good step for you.





SirChaos
SirChaos
03:45 Oct 25 2017

Outstanding.





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
06:39 Oct 25 2017

=)





 

09:14 Oct 23 2017
Times Read: 764



What does happiness mean to you?
Happy is a much used word.

Research has shown that long-term happiness,
feeling contented with life, stems from feeling and being
in charge of as much of our life as possible.
It's not about smiling all the time nor does it stem from money or health,
but a self-belief you are on the road you want to be on.

It's nice to be content
It's nice to have that fog lifted of negativity
It was the best thing I could have done for myself.
It feels good to love, and BE LOVED

Life is not a race, but it is moving forward one foot/step at a time.

COMMENTS

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09:03 Oct 23 2017
Times Read: 766



Well I can honestly say I didn't expect the reply...

Made me smile...

Glad I rattled the cage

Always need a good shake, right wolf ??

Be well you...I meant what I said.

COMMENTS

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23:01 Oct 22 2017
Times Read: 787




Well last night was a blast.

1.) Lost voice

2.) Consumed A LOT of liquor

3.) Laughed till I nearly pissed my pants

4.) Survived one of the scariest corn mazes in the pouring rain

5.) Got chased by a zombie with a chainsaw

6.) Will repeat next year

It was so worth the laughs.

Now if this sickness doesn't get worse and the heavy chest disappears it will be great.
I like the no voice thing...just not sure how I'm going to lecture 10 classes this week. LOL

Oh well I will do it successfully and have fun while being sick
Why?

Because it's just want I do...

Giving up, "calling in" is NOT an option. Fuck unless I was DEAD even then I wouldn't cancel.

I'm sure I'm on the road to.....puenmonia

Meh...we only live once, right?

COMMENTS

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Rupture
Rupture
15:16 Oct 23 2017

that reminds me
the night my aunt took me on a haunted hayride
I was touched by a chainsaw it scared the living shit out of me
that I laughed so fucking hard lol I had so much fun





Euphoria
Euphoria
16:36 Oct 23 2017

lol





 

23:55 Oct 21 2017
Times Read: 814



So in just over an hour I'm getting dragged out by 3 friends
to a haunted corn maze.
I can't believe that I'm going to pay to go have the shit literally
scared out of me...LOL

I mean I like horror or 'scary' things, but to take me
throw me out in a corn field in the middle of no where
pitch black ... and have 'zombie' looking people jumping out,
touching, grabbing as you walk bye.... FUCK ME

So... the drinking HAS begun
Perhaps if I'm a few sheets to the wind when we get there...
It won't be so bad?

Fldkffdklfjdlfsj

COMMENTS

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xRobin3x
xRobin3x
00:50 Oct 22 2017

lol

have fun :)





Rupture
Rupture
01:41 Oct 22 2017

my aunt took me on a haunted hayride and a zombie safi which was so much fun





Minde
Minde
08:04 Oct 22 2017

Sounds adventurous





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
22:46 Oct 22 2017

It was a blast...laughed, screamed and lead the group through the most scariest of BLACK haunted houses. It was worth it, had a blast 💀👻☠️l





 

...wolf

10:02 Oct 21 2017
Times Read: 843



You know...always listen to your gut

9 out of 10 times it's never wrong

I had a feeling for months and months, avoiding what I was thinking/feeling...

Tonight I acted on that feeling...and within a few clicks of the mouse, confirmed what I thought/felt/knew

I stepped out of my comfort zone, and did something I never have done.

Mixed emotions but unbelievable happiness for them

I'm sure you will read this,
the message I sent probably rattled your cage for you to read/see it...
to not reply.

But what can you say that hasn't been said 100 times before, right?

Just know, I'm truly happy for you.

YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS

COMMENTS

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💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

06:24 Oct 20 2017
Times Read: 864




My new song on repeat



"The Rest Of Our Life"

[Tim McGraw:]
Sitting with you in a dark room
Warmed by a fireplace
You know there's just something about you
You brighten my day
I got something to run past you
I just hope I say it right
So I take your hand and ask you
Have you made plans for the rest of your life?


[Tim McGraw & Faith Hill:]
There's one thing I should be killing off and giving up now
And that's worryin' about life
Oh, I'll be fine
If one gray hair shows, I'll be fine
If my waistline grows, I'll be fine
Even if time takes its toll
We'll stay young for the rest of our lives

[Faith Hill:]
I've been making plans for children
Since I've been looking in your eyes
I even have names picked out for them
Daughter'd be Rose
Son; it'd be Ryan

[Tim McGraw & Faith Hill:]
There's one thing I should be killing off and giving up now
And that's worrying about life
Oh, I'll be fine
If one gray hair shows, I'll be fine
If my waistline grows, I'll be fine
Even if time takes its toll
We'll stay young for the rest of our lives

I don't really care about those storm clouds brewing
Oh, as long as you're here by my side
Oh, we'll be young, oh we'll be young
Oh, we'll be young, when we're old

Oh, I'll be fine
If my gray hair shows, I'll be fine
If my waistline grows, I'll be fine
Even when time takes its toll
I'll stay young for the rest of my life
With you, I'll stay young for the rest of my life
With you
We'll stay young for the rest of our life

💘💘💘

COMMENTS

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05:40 Oct 17 2017
Times Read: 901




Useless info to 99.9% of you

Sometimes I miss things...

Stopping playing the piano was one of those things

However THIS SONG... I still can sit at any piano and play by heart.

It gets me in the feels...

I'm having a lay in the dark, with a small candle flickering, so I can see the shadows
it creates that dance on the walls surrounding me.

I need to get lost in thought.



COMMENTS

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07:28 Oct 08 2017
Times Read: 927



Really?

Of course...no surprise there

=D

COMMENTS

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..simple

18:05 Oct 02 2017
Times Read: 943




"But even Superwoman
Sometimes needed Superman's soul"

COMMENTS

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07:05 Oct 02 2017
Times Read: 969



Well hello October

This month is pretty special...

People I love dearly have birthdays

I hope this month my luck changes...cause I'm getting sick of this boot,
booting me back every time I advance

My little man today, so wise for 14 grounded me...wiped the tears and said

"Mom, never apologize for being human"

I love you son...you & your sister are MY world

COMMENTS

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SirChaos
SirChaos
07:33 Oct 02 2017

That's beautiful. Stay strong. Things do get better. :)





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
07:34 Oct 02 2017

Thank you :)





SirChaos
SirChaos
07:35 Oct 02 2017

My pleasure.








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