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queenofchaos's Journal


queenofchaos's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

rant

09:08 Jul 31 2011
Times Read: 832


I am writing in my journal....a just wrote an amazing part....when something happens and I loose the entire thing! I don't know about you guys....but when that happens to me...I fucking loose it...and I NEVER want to re-write what I wrote! FUCK....djfdlkfjas;ofjasd;fajsdf;laksdjf;alskdfj;asldfkjas;dlfkjsd;flkj



I hate that shit.



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birra
birra
14:06 Jul 31 2011

All my rants and poems are written in word first... copy & paste is your friend.





 

tonight....

07:47 Jul 31 2011
Times Read: 841






I don't know how I am feeling tonight...I am quiet, and just letting my mind drift.



I am thinking about love actually and all that I have had the honor of loving, and being loved by.



Do you believe in love at first sight?



Do you believe there is someone for everyone?



Do you believe that love dies?



What is love?



Can you love someone you have NEVER touched...never felt, or never tasted their kiss?



Love is amazing, just like the body is resilient.

The heart loves...and even breaks, but does that keep you from loving again?



My mind is racing with thoughts...questions...moments, 1st's and all the memories of past "loves".



I don't know what made me start to think of my ex...he was my friend, lover...and the man that I lost my virginity too.

We were young...and experimentalists.

We had alot of fun, with ALOT of laughs.



We were together for 5+ years...we ended on "good terms" if there is such a thing. We after 20+ years still see each other and always stop for that split second and glance at one another. Smile comes from my lips...with usually a smirk from his and then carry on.

But in that "smirk" or "smile" what are we thinking?



Are we stopping and remembering each other, or our youth in days gone by? The "carefree" ones....that make up the happy years.

Or are we thinking about the time we were in the tent camping and thinking we were "being quite" and that our friends didn't know that we were actually fucking inside...till we get out of the tent, and we moved it 10+ feet away, whoops! LOL



I couldn't tell you...but I remember him always telling me, "if we ever break up...I will never forget you." "that if 20 years down the road I saw you, I'd drag you away and fuck you silly, then we'd just carry on with our day". I always laughed at that...but one night, 20 years later....WOW!



I separated from my man of 18+ years. It was girls night out...and we were actually going to see Terri Clark in concert at GM Place. We usually would hit up a small bar/restaurant before we would enter the concert...which this night was no different. There was 12 of us girls...all dolled up, and ready to party.

The concert was only the first part of the night and we were all excited to go dancing afterwards.

So...I drop off my bag at the table, and pull out my wallet and a few of us gals go to order our drinks.

We are standing in the line up...it's a hot evening, and I start scanning the place, you know...everyone does this when you get to any place. We are talking/laughing and slowly moving up the line...I finally get to the bar, and the good looking bartender asks what we wanted...with a huge smile I ordered my drink and turned to my gf to order hers...when I feel this body press up against mine...this male arm comes around my chest whispering in my ear..."let me get this round".

I remember not turning around but it was like my brain knew he was there...and it was "him".

He then grabbed my drink which meant he was pressing up against me more...and I can feel his arousal...and like both in sink, we backed up and I turned around as his arm was bringing my drink to me....smiling. I don't know what else was happening but all I remember is that very moment...for a split second we were the only 2 people in the bar. He tipped my glass....and asked if I was going to the concert, which I smiled and replied "of course". He then leaned in...kissed my cheek and said "good, I will see you later."



To be continued...

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