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YAY! I finally have my book, the most recent of the Rachel Morgan series. It's titled Black Magic Sanction and I can't wait to read it! Excuse me while I lose mysefl...

Well my book finally came but I don't have it, it's down that the office and I won't be able to get it until they open in the morning. It was coming through FedEx so I made sure to be home when the FedEx guy comes through here and he didn't bring me anything so I ran some errands. I got back a little after 5 and checked my mail, when I did that I found a slip telling me that I had a package at the office. Unfortunately the office closes at 5. I wasn't sure what could be waiting for me there, the only thing I'm expecting is my book. Then I thought maybe I was confused and it had shipped USPS instead of FedEx, so I checked the tracking and it turns out that it shipped part way through FedEx and then was turned over to the USPS once it reached Omaha. I'm a little annoyed about this, had I KNOWN that this was the way it would be shipped I'd have been waiting for the mail man instead of the FedEx guy. I know it's not really THAT big of a deal since it's only until the morning that I have to wait but it still irks me a little.

I think it's officially time I get cleaning on my apartment, so I'm going to buckle down and get this place nice tomorrow. I passed up on what I'm sure would have been an awesome hook up because I was too embarrassed with the state of my apartment to have the girl over. Yeah. Not cool.

I decided to take the books in to Half Price Books that I've bought over the last few months. The titles of them are Dhampir, Thief of Lives, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, City of Bones, City of Ashes, and City of Glass. They're all in mint or near mint condition. They're all in mint or near mint condition, the only one with any visible signs of wear is Dhampir but it's still in amazing condition. Breaking Dawn and City of Glass are both hardbacks because they aren't out in paperback yet. I paid $17.99 for City of Glass and $15.88 for Breaking dawn, the rest ranged from $7-10. Keep in mind that these are all in perfect condition. Half Price Books only offered me $6 for them... What the hell? The retail value for the group is $82.82 (this is an exact figure and a little funny to me) and they ony offer me about $0.85 per book?! Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting a gold mine or anything but I thought I'd get about $20 for the whole lot. Oh well I guess, I didn't really even want to sell them in the first place but with my financial situation I thought it would be a good idea. I've got some more books I could take in but I REALLY don't want to part with those ones. I'm trying to get the whole set and I'm almost there, I only lack the first one technically since I pre-ordered the hard back version for the most recent one a while back.



I'm thinking I'll take some of my DVDs into CD Tradepost tomorrow. I only own a few titles and I don't want to part with most of them but I think I could get a few bucks for some of them, especially Smallville season 8. The idea of taking any of the few DVDs in that I own is depressing so I'm still debating on it and on what titles to take. I have the 3 DVD set of Underworld, Blood: The Last Vampire (live action), Smallville season 8, the 3 DVD set of Resident Evil, the 4 DVD set of the old Superman movies, and Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. I might be able to get a few bucks but I'm not sure I'd get enough to make it worth my while.

Finally online again! Sheesh. The bad thing about Saturdays is that I can just about guarantee crappy internet speed at best. Every Saturday the signal strength on the wireless I'm using always drops so low that pages won't load, I don't know why. If it's caused by other people using it more I would think I'd get the same signal strength but less speed, I don't know though. What else might cause this on a regular basis? Does my neighbor move their wireless router early on Saturday and then put it back in its original spot in the evening? I shifted my computer and that seems to have made a difference tonight, which also means I'll be getting even better speed once the signal goes back to normal. Oh yeah! ;) heh heh heh

This is sad. I came across an ad on craigslist of a 20 girl who's selling herself. I don't have anything against, I even admire some women who do it because some of them are just doing what they have to to get by. The thing that I find the saddest about this though is that this girl is truly beautiful and selling herself for only $75 because around here she can't get more than that. Everyone around here who might be willing to pay for it can't afford more than that.

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Eleanna
09:19 Feb 27 2010

That is really sad, makes me think sometimes shouldnt be so quick to moan about things and be thankful things have never been that bad that ive had to resort to something like that.

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I feel like I have this amazing poem trapped in my head that I can't get out. I know it's there but I can't find it and it's driving me nuts. That's how I feel these days anyway. Then again, I'm being driven nuts so often lately that I might just be crazy.

I had an idea earlier that hadn't occurred to me before. I know I'll be attending Lazerfest and my brother might be but I hadn't considered whether any of my other relatives might be heading to it in May. I thought there might be a chance, especially with my cousin Josie since I know she's into that kind of music. So on facebook I sent my 4 (technically there are 5 but I don't have a way to contact one of them) cousins who live in the area to see if they're interested. So far only Josie has replied, apparently she and her bf have been talking about going so she's going to get back to me. It would be cool if the others could go too, what could be better than the youngest generation of our family having a reunion at a rock festival?

I'm so lame, I posted an ad on craigslist. Not for sex though. Think I'll get any worth while responses to this?





Title: I'm not normal and maybe just a little crazy





Yep, you read that right. Don't worry, I promise it's a good thing.

So... I suppose if you opened this post you probably want to know a little bit about me...



I was born in the late '80s and I talk like it. This means I say dude, totally, awesome, sweet, and cool and to me chill is something you do, not something you are. Once in a while you'll even here me say right on or rock on. I cuss, it's just something I do. I love to crank my music up and I sing with it while I drive, even though I don't sing worth shit. On my playlists you'll hear bands like Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Lacuna Coil, Flyleaf, Theroy Of A Deadman, Evanescence, Static-X and so many many more. I go to concerts and I have a blast at them. I read in surges, you'll see me reading a lot one month and not at all the next but I do go through a lot of books. I have weird sleeping patterns, or a lack there of, and I tend to be a night owl. I love the rain, especially on a warm summer day, and I LOVE thunderstorms. I like to go for walks at night. I do watch anime and there are a few mangas that I read. I am a smart ass. It's a fact of nature as much as fog is condensed moisture in the air.





So there's a little about me as an individual, now here's a little bit about the kind of guy I am in a relationship:

I will occasionally write my girl poems and once in a while buy flowers. I will take her out to dinner and I like to pay, this doesn't mean I will refuse to let her. I will pick on you and tease you but only because I'm a mischievous S.O.B. I don't mind if the woman I'm with flirts with other people, I do it too but not intentionally, but I am the type to come up behind you and put my arm around you. This isn't a matter of trust, it's me telling the other guy that he can look but not touch or I'll rip his nuts off (a good friend of mine refers to this as 'alpha male chest thumping'). As much as I know this will sound like a contradiction, I'm not the jealous type. As long as I'm sure you're mine, what's the point in jealousy? I like to kiss and be affectionate and being in public is not a deterrent for me. I also like intimacy. This doesn't just mean sex but that is a form of it. I mean I like to cuddle, long make out sessions, holding hands, and all that jazz.





If you actually opened this post and are still reading at this point, you might be the girl I'm after. So I'm going to tell you a little about her now:

She is independant and yet likes to spend a lot of time with me. She's affectionate and is cool with p.d.a. She's sweet, confident, sarcastic, and a little feisty. She digs my taste in music and loves going to concerts. She likes to crank the music up and isn't afraid to sing with it. She's just as comfortable in a pair of jeans as she is a skirt and isn't under the impression she needs to have make up on 24/7. When it's nice out she likes going for a drive with the windows down. She thinks my lap is as good a place to sit as a chair, sometimes better. She enjoys reading a good book. She likes to go for walks, sometimes in the rain. She enjoys spending time inside and out and will encourage me to spend more time outside.





Those are the basics. If you've gotten this far, there are just a couple more things. I have my own apartment, I have my own car. Annoyingly, the place I was working at had to do some cut backs and that's left me job hunting. I am actively seeking employment but I know a lack of it is a huge deal to some women and I can't blame them. I am over weight but one of my goals for this year is to get into shape. With that in mind, I don't expect you to be perfect but I do have limits. It's nothing personal, I'm just not attracted to women beyond a certain point of unfitness. If you're still interested at this point please send me a message telling me a little about you and make the subject We Could Plant A House. Bonus points if you know that song and like it.

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Eleanna
08:33 Feb 27 2010

Good luck with that, its a very nice description, open and honest, fingers x for you!

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That's just wrong. In filling out this application I've arrived at the 'Optional Self Identify' stage and for ethnicity there are 3 options: Hispanic or Latino, not Hispanic or Latino, I choose not to identify.

Is that fucked up or what?

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ThothLestat
14:17 Feb 26 2010

Is there a check box for "Other"?

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placidchaos
15:00 Feb 26 2010

Ha ha, Nope.

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Crap. I'm filling out an online application and in the place that you'd normally fill out your job duties in the work history it asks for achievments. I'm no sure if it's asking the same thing or if it's asking about things like raises and promotions.

Because there are some things that you just shouldn't laugh at but want to anyway.

I've noticed that the stubble that grows in after shaving with the electric shaver is different than the stubble that grows in when using a razor. After using the razor it grows in stiff and coarse, after using the electric razor the stubble actually feels a little soft and a little pleasant to the touch. It's strange I think.

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Lolita
13:32 Feb 26 2010

awwwwwwwwww :P

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Hmmm... I just found out that my friend's bf is 'wary' of me because of how much we comment and what not on facebook, even though she's explained that we've been friends for a few years and that it's platonic. In all fairness I can't blame him. Like I told her, if I were in his shoes and it was a real life situation instead of online I would do the whole 'walk up behind my gril, put my arm around her, and introduce myself' routine but you can't do that online. So it leaves a guy floundering a bit. Plus, if I'm being perfectly honest I would snatch her up in a heartbeat if I had a chance but I don't and so I won't even try. I'm perfectly happy being her friend and I'm happy that she's happy with him, that's enough for me and I won't do anything to disrupt that. Like I've said, I love her but it's not in an obsessive or posessive way.

Talking to my friend Marie, something for which there has been much less opportunity than I would like for a while now. I love her to death.

This is getting old. This is a pattern that is really getting on my nerves. I'll start to feel like I can sleep or get the urge to so I'll go to bed but once I'm in bed I feel wide awake. It's as though after a few minutes of just lying down I'm ready to go and I start to get restless, too much to the point where I wouldn't be able to sleep then even if I did suddenly become exhausted. Then, after a few minutes of being up again my eyes start telling me I need to go to sleep! GRRRR! This is driving me nuts. It happened tonight too. I got to where I felt like I could sleep and went to bed, now I feel wide awake and like I could go probably until mid morning or noon. In a little while I'll start feeling tiredish again though.

In one of my random flashes of curiosity, I suddenly wondered what a guy who's extremely sexual would be called. I've always just referred to it as being a male nympho but, and I don't know why, it suddenly occurred to me since that term actually applies to women that there must be a male counterpart. Similar to how most people use peacock as a blanket term for both genders of the bird even though the females are peahens. I figured if I looked up nympho on wikipedia it would lead me to the male term and I was right. Women have nymphomania and guys have satyriasis, if you can't figure out the origin of those words you need beat upside the head. I also found this interesting little tidbit of information:



"People who suffer from bipolar disorder may often display tremendous swings in sex drive depending on their mood. Hypersexuality may be expressed during periods of mania or hypomania."



I'd never known that before but it explains why some times my sex drive is so much more overwhelming than others, though it's always higher than the average Joe. The woes of having high levels of testosterone and being bipolar.

I also found out that they typically don't use those terms in the professional world anymore, it's just hypersexuality now.

Damn. No book today, maybe not tomorrow either. Apparently instead of coming straight to Omaha from the place in Ohio, it made a swing down to Kansas City, Kansas. That's not far but if the pattern follows, it'll probably go to Des Moines, IA before coming here!

I don't get it, I've spent a few hours on here today and yet this is what VR says my time has been:



16 minutes, 2 seconds

Ugh. I ate just a little too much. It felt like not enough until I stopped for a couple minutes to do something, then I came and sat down and suddenly I felt bloated.

I just got back in, I went out to run to the store almost an hour ago. On my way out the door I went all ninja on a piece of paper that dropped, they'd stuck it between the door handle and the door frame. It was some flyer talking about a casino night that the people running the complex are having. Apparently they've arranged for a shuttle to come pick people up and take everyone over to the Ameristar Casino. Sounds like it might be fun.



I was told I'm scary tonight, that's a first. I've been told I'm creepy, strange, weird, insane, crazy, psycho, and some other similar things but I've never been called scary before.

Time Spent:

33.00 days

Crap. I'm filling out some of that tax credit paperwork shit that a lot of places have around here and it's asking if I've served in the military, I'm not sure how to answer that. Technically it's a yes but since I was given an ELS because of my knee before basic was done I'm not sure if it counts. Shit.

I was lying in bed for hours last night before I finally fell asleep. 1 or 2 hours isn't unusual but I was in bed for over 4 before sleep finally found me. That's just obnoxious.

So the idea of taking classes this Spring fell through because of my employment (or lack there of) situation but I'm still hoping to get in for Summer at least. Let's just hope I can get a job soon or I won't be able to continue living here, let along get to school.

Sweet deal, my book should be arriving either today or within the next couple days. I pre-ordered Black Magic Sanction by Kim Harrison a while ago and I got an email Monday (the day before the book released) telling me that it shipped out. I looked online and the last place it was at is Grove City, OH at 2 a.m. and that's about a 12 hour drive to hear. You have to consider that there will be stops in between here and there to make other pick ups and drop offs, so it will take more than 12 hours to reach Omaha. So I'm guessing I'll prbably get it tomorrow afternoon.

I have decided that from this point forward if anyone messages me just to tell me what they rated me or simply that they have rated me, I will give them a 1 and block them. Don't waste my time with useless bullshit.

I didn't get to sleep last night, I laid in bed but didn't manage to finally fall asleep until after dawn. So I didn't wake up until a little bit ago, maybe 10 or so minutes. So here it's 1:20 and I haven't accomplished anything yet that I was intending to today. I suppose I should get at it then. Crank some tunes, clean, and fill out applications!

Tomorrow I don't know what exactly I'm going to do, I know I need to spend some time doing some serious cleaning. My place is a pit right now. I think I might go apply at Block buster, I think that would be an awesome job. Wendy's right by them has a 'Now Hiring' sign up so maybe I should apply there too. I'm still considering trying for the military (I just accidentally typed martyr somehow instead) again, I don't know though. It's not something I think I genuinely want to do but if it comes down to no other options... Yeah, we'll see.

I just heard the song Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns for the first time... I freakin' love it! I'm going to have to check out more by this band.

Well that's just craptacular! I forgot to cancel my Netflix before the free trial ran out and now my account is overdrafted by about $50. I didn't have anything in the account when the charge went through. @&$%^$*!

What the? I accidentally clicked the Referrals link on the right of the page and found out that 2 people have me as referring them. I didn't know either of them had done this. One of them I know, they're my friend. The other I'm not so sure about, they apparently haven't logged back on since the day they created their account. I have no clue what's up with that. I really think there should be a notification when somebody new lists you as their reference on here.

Sweetness. The interview went well. They have a few other interviews lined up already so I have to wait a couple days to hear back but I'm very hopeful.



Since I've been living here I haven't been using shaving cream since it doesn't really make too much of a difference for me. However, since I just shaved yesterday I decided to use it since it would be the only way it would be bearable for me. So I had to unpack it, yep. Heh. When I got to the box and bag it was in I was surprised to find my electric shaver with it. I thought I'd lost it a long while ago and I don't remember the shaver being there a few months ago when I packed the other stuff in there. It doesn't get me as close of a shave as a razor but it doesn't irritate my skin as bad so I decided to use that today, I was surprised how good a shave it gave me. I don't remember it working that well before.

Crap. I've been trying for a while now to take out my lip ring. It's not that I don't want it anymore, I need to be able to take it out for interviews. I've never been able to get the ball off until today though. I finally managed to be able to take the ring out and putting it back in was actually something of a challenge since I have big lips. Now I can't get the ball back on the stupid thing! Grrr. I'm going to have to get this figured out. If I can't get the ball back on by this afternoon I'm going to go to the shop and have them help me.

Have you noticed that some people will come back to your profile periodically to re-rate you and each time they give you a 10 and leave the same exact stamp? What's the point? Do they not pay attention to the fact that they've already done this or do they just not care? I don't get it.

I can't wait for my interview at 11 in the morning! It means I'm going to have to get up around 8 to do a couple things first, which means I'm going to have to go to bed a little early. So I'm thinking between 12-2... A thought just occurred to me, is it sad that I'm calling that early?

Sometimes I am a brat. To this day I'm still the youngest sibling. I don't intend to be but it happens. That's just the price for growing up that way. That being said, I love my brother. Despite everything, he's always there when I truly need him.



I'm hoping to get him to go to Lazerfest with me but I have to wait and see. Since he's in the National Guard he might be busy that weekend, he has to check to be sure when his drill weekend that month is. Hopefully it's not that one. The last concert he and I went to together was back in March '07.

I have a dilemma. I don't know whether to go to Rockfest or Lazerfest this year, they're both in May.

On one hand, Lazerfest tickets will be about $9 cheaper (assuming I buy them this week through my Lazer TNA membership) and it has more bands and those include some of the same bands as Rockfest. On the other hand, Rockfest is here in Omaha while Lazerfest is in Des Moines. Plus, I know that the venue for Rockfest is great.





Rockfest - Friday May 14

Godsmack, Rob Zombie, Papa Roach, Hellyeah, Skillet, and Halestorm



Lazerfest - Sunday May 16

Godsmack, Rob Zombie, Three Days Grace, Stone Sour, Hellyeah, Five Finger Death Punch, Skillet, and Seether.

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Eleanna
16:47 Feb 22 2010

Id have to say Rockfest!

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placidchaos
21:08 Feb 22 2010

Oh yeah, definitely. I just found out that the bands currently listed for the Lazerfest line up aren't all that will be there. There are still some that are TBA and I hear there will be a few local bands too! I can't wait to get my rock on!

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Eleanna
21:31 Feb 22 2010

Lucky you! have fun!

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YES! I just got a call back for an interview! Tomorrow morning at 11! I JUST put the application in yesterday afternoon too! I really hope I get this job.

It's not uncommon for me to not feel tired or just not feel like sleeping, the opposite is highly unusual for me actually. However, I don't normally feel an aversion to it like I do right now. Other than my eyes I don't feel... How do I put it? It's not tired but I don't know what else to call it, that's normal for me though. What's not normal is the overwhelming desire I have not to sleep right now. It's similar to when you know you need to get up to do something but you just don't want to get off the couch, that's the type of feeling I get from the idea of sleep right now. Strange. My eyes tell me that I really need to though. Maybe tonight/this morning I'll stay up for a few more hours before doing the things I need to and then sleeping through the middle of the day. Maybe not. I don't know. We'll see what happens I guess.

I went out for a walk and just got back in, I was out a little longer than I thought until I looked at the clock. It was nice, I rocked out to my music and enjoyed the evening. Now I'm sitting down to eat my supper and watch Buso Renkin.

O_o Apparently I downloaded the album War Is the Answer by Five Finger Death Punch back in October but I don't remember doing it. I'd have no clue when this happened if it weren't for the date listed in the file for when it was created. I really don't remember doing this and have no clue where I got it from.

I've been craving something specific to drink for a week or so now but I haven't been able to figure out what, so I've just been drinking whatever and it hasn't been satisfying my thirst. Earlier I was thinking about how I'd like a soda but I'm a little tired of colas, then I remembered that I have a bogo coupon for Dr. Pepper products. I grabbed it and went down to Kum&Go and bought a bottelf 7Up. *sighs contentedly* It's just what I've been wanting. I've been so unbelievably thirsty lately but nothing was able to quench my thrist until now, not even water did the trick. What luck! Now I'm wondering what's in this that my body has been craving so much.

Holy crap! Music is expensive in Japan it seems. I was trying to look up a track from the show Persona Trinity Soul and so I looked up the soundtrack. I mostly found listings for the CD for sale in Japan and the price it was listed as is equal to about $35 here in the U.S. What the fuck is up with that?



Even worse than that, amazon has it listed at $72.88!

When I get really bored I sometimes browse ads on craigslist, not just in my city but in others too. Today I came across an ad in LA for a girl who is 20. She had 2 pics of herself up and I have to say that even thought she wasn't 'athletic' she had a pretty nice body, just BARELY any extra on her at all. I mean barely. What's the point you wonder? I'm getting there. In the ad she says she's put on about 5-10 pounds since the picture was taken and then describes herself as a BBW... What the hell? This is something that, for some strange reason I don't really know, irks me. You run across this type of thing a lot if you browse personals listings online. Women, and men, are always misrepresenting their physical appearance. A lot of people complain about the less attractive people claiming to be more attractive than they are but it happens the other way around a lot too. It's annoying. If you're hot, own it without being arrogant. If you're not as physically attractive, don't play yourself up to get people to give you a chance because that's not something you can hide forever. If a person can't accept you the way you are you shouldn't want to be with them anyway.

*sigh* I was going to apply for a job at Homer's music but they want me to know things about music that I don't and have no interest in. They want people who are music gurus. My knowledge is limited mostly to my taste preferences and even then I don't know much. I don't research the trivia and facts, I just like finding new music and listening to it.

I've decided to say screw it and find a way to go somewhere. Where? That is the question. I was thinking maybe somewhere warmer like San Fransisco or LA, maybe Buffalo like I've been thinking about for a while, maybe Chicago, or maybe NYC. I'm not sure which.

I'm feeling crappy and depressed-ish. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just start packing my crap up and then take off without a word to anyone. I mean, what's the point? Even if I find a job by tomorrow I'll still be screwed for money, the main reason I chose here over other places was because I wanted to be closer to family that doesn't seem to care, and I'm obviously not having much luck here in finding work or happiness. What is the point then? I'm a little pissed at my brother again. I've been trying to keep in touch with him but for what? He hasn't bothered to put any effort into staying in touch with me, nor has my father. I'm tired of putting effort into people who won't return it, even family. The problem is, not having enough money to pay my bills and rent also means that I don't really have enough money to go anywhere. So what do I do? I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I'm screwed. I was thinking things over and I realized that even if I were to start working today, because of paying the fee when my car was towed, I won't be able to afford my rent for the next month. I don't know what to do.

So far today sucks.

The McD's up the road isn't actually hiring, they're only taking applications even though they SAID they were hiring. They won't even start looking at the applications and doing interviews until the middle of March. Whatever.

Pizza Hut doesn't know what they're doing right now. The person I talked to is only the acting store manager, apparently they don't actually have a store manager right now. Just to top that off, they're in the process of changing their district manager I hear. So the person I talked to said that they have to talk to their superiors and find out if they're even hiring crew right now.

*sigh* Then some fuckwit backed into my car at the grocery store. It was just stupidity, they didn't even look behind them before they started backing up.

Sweet deal! Netflix has Color of Magic on Watch Instantly. I've read the book, if you haven't you should, and it was hilarious. I'm hoping the movie will live up to my hopes.

You know what sucks? I have lots of concepts for movies that I can't do anything with. I need to find a partner for this kind of stuff.



Have you ever noticed that anymore a lot of movies are generally the same? Not to mention that the actual stories leave much to be desired because they focus too much on the special effects and the action. They're almost always uplifting in some way, unless they're in the horror genre. I want to watch something dark and disturbing that isn't a horror movie. I would want it to be visually similar to Pan's Labyrinth and Mirror Mask. I even have an idea for it but this is where I run into the trouble of not being able to do anything with it. *sigh*

Uh-huh. Ok then.





You've viewed 3 pages today.

Total Time: 1 minute, 3 seconds.

Sometimes I wonder about the severity of my mental illnesses. I mean, I know that the psychiatrist encouraged me to go on disability but he never made it sound as if they were too bad. I can't really say that though, he did use words like 'acute' and 'severe' more than once but the way he always talked made it seem like nothing. I've never stopped and considered how bad they are before though. It makes me wonder about certain things about myself. I honestly believe I need to start seeing someone about it again but there are a million reasons I can come up with why I'm not. In the end though, are they valid or are they excuses? Am I being selfish by not getting the treatment I need or am I only hurting myself? Am I possibly more dangerous than I realize or maybe am willing to admit? I don't know. I don't know the answers to any of these questions and I don't know what I should do. *sigh*

Sweet! I just took 5 seconds off of the best Expert score I've ever gotten before on Minesweeper. My best score yet now sits at 109 seconds.

I love watching House, it's one of the best shows.

One of my friends sent me a friend suggestion on facebook, the suggestion is my ex Tina. I wasn't really sure this would be something she wants so I messaged her about it. She tells me that she's not really sure she wants to talk to me. I can't blame her so I told her I'd leave her alone but she replied telling me that she'd rather an explanation. I'm assuming she means about why I left her. I've thought about what I would say to her on that a million times but even now I can't figure out how to say it to her. I could be blunt but I know I would hurt her feelings if I did. I did explain it to her to an extent before but I not clearly enough. If I'm honest with myself I'm still a little confused over it all, I know what the reasons were at the time but now that I've had some time and space I'm not always so sure. I know part of that is because I'm lonely now but I also know that it's because my emotions are so contradictory, I may feel one thing one moment but a little while later I'll feel the opposite. It's annoying and confusing.

What a night. What. A. Night. This might be a little bit of a long entry, we'll see when it's done.



I ended up going to the concert, I got a little annoyed at myself for moping and thinking about not going and kind of shoved a mental foot up my ass. It was great, I needed it. I let go at concerts like I don't anywhere else, it lets me get a lot shit off my chest. I was rockin' out and havin' fun. I danced with some girl for a little bit, then I danced with some guy for a little bit later on. Dancing with the guy was a little strange at first. I've hardly danced with girls and I've never danced with a male before but I thought, what the hell? Dancing never hurt anybody. I hurt my knee at some point during the night, my good knee.. I don't know what happened. One moment I was fine and the next moment it was hurting like hell, it wasn't quite as bad as when I tore my ACL in my other knee but not much less. It's ok now though, just a little sore if I move certain ways or flex the muscles just right.



So the night was really great until I went to leave and found that my car was gone. I didn't just forget where I parked it, it was gone. I freaked. I headed back towards The Waiting Room and on my way somebody tried to mug me, kind of. They never pulled any weapon on me but as I was walking back there were a couple guys walking toward me and one of them stepped in front of me and said, "Sorry butchew gotta pay a toll to go through brotha." Yeah, he actually talked like that. Me being the rational and reasonable human being that I am, yeah right, responded by growling. No, I didn't do it on purpose. I've always had a habit of growling, according to my mother I growled even as an infant. Then he did a stupid thing, even worse than what he already was. He said, "What you growlin' at bitch?" and put his hand on my chest. I was already pissed about my car being gone and so I did what any person as reasonable and rational as I was would: I grabbed his arm, yanked him toward me, hooked his feet with one of mine, and threw him face first into the concrete behind me. I walked off without looking back but I heard his friend say, "See! I told you not to go messin' with him, he looks like trouble." Then I got back to the bar and asked for the phone to call the cops because my car had been stolen and the bartender asks where I parked my car. I told her I parked it in the lot behind them and she told me that it probably was towed, not stolen. This was a huge relief for me. I found out that the parking lot belongs to a different bar and then sought out the number for the towing company they use. Sure enough, my car was towed. This still left me in trouble because I couldn't get home without my car. The towing people took pity on me, since one of their trucks was up the road from me anyway they had him pick me up and bring me over to pick up my car. I had to pay almost half of my rent money to get it but what else could I do?



All things considered, it could have been a worse night. I'm feeling a lot better than I have been and for some reason the issue over the car hasn't dampened my mood much at all.

I'm debating not going to the Shadows Fall concert tonight. I want to be there and enjoy the music but at the same time I don't feel like being alone in a crowd of people. It is better to be alone and by yourself than alone and surrouned by others. I don't know.

Ha ha, I'm so lame. I've been sitting here trying to reply to a message I was sent but everytime I hit send it just refreshed the page. I tried and tried and tried but it wouldn't go through. I FINALLY just noticed that it says that I'm blocked! lol, It would have saved me a little headache if I'd realized sooner.

I have nothing worth while to write in here.

I'm feeling frustrated and apathetic toward anything requiring me to interact with other people. It's stupid. I need to kick my ass and get it in gear.

Do you know the worst thing about being my age and having joint problems? Being 22 and having 'weatherwise' aches. I especially hate it when the cold gets me aching, its the worst of the aches that I get and I have to turn up the heat too.

Hmmm... Once again the general idea for the main character in the story I've been trying to write is undergoing a bit of a makeover in my mind.

*sigh* Another one of those nights. My body and mind are burdened with indecision while I suffer reluctance.

You know whqt rocks about Shasta Cola? Their cherry cola tastes just like old fashioned cherry cola, it's delicious.

I do and don't feel able/like sleeping right now. It's an odd feeling. I feel like I could go until about another 7 hours without sleep before it would become a problem and I have the urge to stay up longer. At the same time I also have the urge to lie down and go to sleep. Neither my body nor my mind seem to know which they need. When my body says to sleep my mind says to stay awake, when my body says to stay awake my mind says to sleep. What the hell is up with that? Even if they can't agree, do they HAVE to keep flip flopping like that? Ugh.

It's 5:30 in the morning, I'm over-riding any opposition and going to bed.

I've got my viola mostly tuned, I can't be 100% sure since I don't have the right tools. I have cello pitch pipes but I don't think those will help with the viola, I'm not sure though. I might talk to a music store to find out when I get around to getting the book I need. It took me a while to rosin the bow properly, I was having trouble remember how to do it properly. I kept flossing it with the rosin but it wasn't doing any good. Then I remembered that with new rosin you sometimes have to scratch the surface to work a bit of dust up and also so there will be proper friction. After I remembered to do that it was simple, obvoiusly.

Today is awesome yet frustrating so far. My new pants arrived but, I know this will sound so not masculine, I don't have a shirt that really goes with them. This is a problem. My viola arrived too! I'm so excited!



So the last several days have seen my hiding in my apartment. I should be making more of an effort in my job hunt but I'm having trouble. I've felt so good staying home so much and not being around people constantly. Since I got beyond the initial loneliness I've been loving it, I haven't felt so far from snapping in a long time. On the other hand, if I don't get a job soon I'm going to start hurting financially and that isn't good. That's the only thing that's putting any kind of a damper on the pleasure, the fact that I know it will end one way or another before long. I've been thinking again about applying for disability but bringing myself to do it seems impossible. Yet, thinking about having a job and being around people so much again isn't a very good feeling. I need to make a choice and act on it.



I started watching Bringing Down the House for the first time today, or tried at least. It got on my nerves too much before I got very far in. I think it's a crappy movie and I wouldn't suggest wasting your time on it.

Originally I only had any interest in Twilight because I wanted to know what exactly made so many people prejudiced against it. The vampire sparkled, big whoop. I started looking into the series so that I could understand. Some people actually gave it a chance and didn't like it but the vast majority just rejected it outright before they had a chance to like it because it didn't fit their perfect image of what a vampire/werewolf story should be. In other words, they're being as narrow minded as pretty much all of them complain about others being. Funny. I have to thank them though, were it not for that I may not have looked into the series so they did in a way turn me on to something interesting. Bella is not nearly as much of a whiner as people whine about her being, nor is Edward. Another thing I have to point out is how so many people complain about the Cullens treating human life with respect and how some of them even lament their existence to an extent. Um, HOW exactly is this different from Louis in Interview With a Vampire? A story that most of these people claim to love? The only difference is that they have the strength of character to resist their urges where as Louis did not. So the vampires sparkle, once again I have to say big whoop. Is that really so devestating? I think it's actually an intriguing twist on the myth. Every vampire novelist has taken something of a liberty with the traditional story, so did Meyers. Stop complaining about her changing werewolves too. She didn't at all actually, she just chose a different myth from Native American origin instead of basing it on European myths. In the end it's nothing but narrow minded people bitching about ridiculous bull shit and if they actually took the time to give the story a chance they might actually like it.

*sigh* While baked mozz sticks are good they just can't compare to their deep fried brethren.

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MyArmyMyMilitaryMyLife
02:17 Feb 09 2010

Who in the world would BAKE a cheezy stick?

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placidchaos
19:38 Feb 09 2010

Poor, desperate people such as myself who don't have a deep fat fryer. Not to mention a lack of oil to use.

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Grrr... I just read the sneak peak Kim Harrison posted for her new Rachel Morgan book, it's freakin' awesome! The problem is that I can't actually read the book yet! GAH! I want to read it damn it! ;alkjf;lajdsf;ajs;ldfja;lsdjfl;kj *sigh* Just a couple more weeks.

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placidchaos
20:53 Feb 08 2010

What's worse is that I've just found out that the release of the next Dresden Files book is in April instead of March now! How cruel!

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Is it bad that the idea of taking people hostage and making them play MTG with me amuses the hell out of me?

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DireConsequences
18:25 Feb 08 2010

Haha! Brett's supposed to teach me how to play. We have different cards in different spots through the house.

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I can't get to sleep right now, I just don't feel the right way. I'm not sure how else to put it. It's almost like a mindset but it goes a little beyond that, I don't know.



I don't know if I've ever journaled about this in here before but...

I have this problem where I produce too many red blood cells. It was first noticed while doing blood tests a while ago to check on how much of one of the medicines I was taking was making it into my blood stream. It was just something that was noticed during the lab work and was flagged, at the time my red cell count was high enough to merit watching. I never crossed into the danger zone but I teetered pretty close. I'm supposed to get checked regularly to make sure it doesn't go too high, I haven't been in a while. All they have to do if it does go that high is drain some of my blood. Well, the reason this is on my mind is because I had something strange happen today. I got my blood pumping and of course that aggrevated my headache but my finger tips went a little numbish too. Then I noticed that I could taste a lot of blood and went to look in the mirror. My gums on my lower teeth were bleeding like crazy. Not long after I got relaxed it stopped. Now, it could just be that I need to floss better but I don't know. The various things could just be coincidences but I'm wondering. If my red count were too high that could explain it and it could very well have something to do with this headache. I don't want to go to the doctor though, if it's nothing than it's really not worth it. If it's something though.... *sigh*

I can't wait until the 15th, that concert is gonna totally rock!



That aside... Another night of loneliness. I really wish I had someone. Anyway, I think I should go to bed now.

I went and activated ANOTHER free Netflix trial! Ha ha, I think it's a little funny. I've already used about a year's worth of their service, not consecutively, and never paid a dime because they keep giving me free trials! You know those, "come back and you can use our service X amount of time free!" type things. It's awesome. So, since I've been wanting to start watching Heroes I added the entire first season to my queue.

Ok people, really? Adding someone to your friends list shouldn't be a 'favor' at all. I won't do it as a 'favor' either. If you talk to me, and I mean really talk to me, and I start to like you as a friend I will add you at that point. Not before. Messaging me with 'hey, wassup?" does not count as talking to me. Try talking to me for REAL and if you can't come up with a subject you can always SINCERELY ask about how things in my life are. I don't mind sharing and if I think you're sincere I'll more than likely reply in kind. Please keep in mind though, I don't take kindly to people asking things like 'how are you?' if they aren't genuinely interested. It's disrespectful, I hate that those kinds of questions have been turned into casual greetings and I want to rip out people's intestines everytime they use them as such. I greet people I care about that way but I actually want to hear the answer BECAUSE I care.

I went and dropped my resume off at the McD's that's hiring shift managers. I also dropped one off at the GameStop just up the way from me, I would LOVE to work there. I'd also love to work in a music store, that would be so cool. I'm thinking about applying at one of the Homer's around here.

So. I'm bored right now. I can't actually do anything that I feel like doing today. part of me really wants to go spend more money that I can't afford to. If I really want to spend money so bad, I should go buy some exercise shorts and start working out.

Wow. I just called H&R Block Emerald card service line. The CSR I got apparently didn't speak English very well, they were using one of those auto response programs where they either type it in and the computer says it or they just choose from a list of prerecorded responses. The couple times they did speak were either to say "Okee" or I couldn't understand them.

Ok, that's just awesome. There's some cute girl out in the exercise area watching Space Balls. How hot is that?

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MyArmyMyMilitaryMyLife
18:51 Feb 07 2010

I saw it for the first time about 3 years ago...

I'd never heard of it and my buddies absolutely demanded that I see it.

It was love at first watch.

*laughs*

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placidchaos
18:56 Feb 07 2010

Seriously? Your buddies were in the right, I saw it when I was a kid. Nobody should be deprived of seeing that movie!

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I was just on eBay and bought the Viola I've been eyeing for a while now! The price has gone up by about $7 but oh well. I can't wait until it gets here so I can start relearning it!

Well, I think I'd better got off the computer now. I've been on here a while and now there's somebody else waiting to get on. I think I'll go down to that store that's selling cheap laptops and check 'em out.

So I'm sitting here on the business center computer at my complex and there's a cute girl sitting at the other computer, obviously one of my neighbors. I actually managed to start a conversation with her. I'm impressed with myself. I'm not shy but like I've said before, I'm not great at starting conversations with people I don't really know. Unfortunately it came up that she has a boyfriend within the first few moments of the conversation. *sigh* Figures.

So I'm back to being a little cranky, no prospect of relief does that to you. Mandi flaked on me. Getting laid isn't worth the frustration she's put me through so even if she tries to get ahold of me again I'm not going to even try.

It really annoys me when I see someone who's exercising but not doing what they're doing properly. Do these people not know just how badly they could fuck themselves up? For example, this guy that's out in the exercise area right now was doing squats but he was bending at his back! What the hell? I think that people should be required to pass a test in order to use public facilities without supervision, that way if they do something wrong and get hurt nothing can come back on the facility. If you want to be a dumb ass you should stay home!

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MyArmyMyMilitaryMyLife
19:15 Feb 06 2010

It happens. People want to get in shape and they do, for the most part, but fuck themselves up doing it. Not everyone has someone to show them how to do it right or to tell them when they're doing it wrong.

One of the things I love about the Army, they pay you to take advantage of their personal trainers (i.e. the sergeants). I can get into shape without having to pay for a membership or use someone elses crap. And, actually, the gym on post is free for soldiers. :D

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placidchaos
21:15 Feb 06 2010

Heh, That is one thing I've missed about that. I have more trouble sticking with it when I'm not part of a group.

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You know, I find this a little funny. Around the end of December-beginning of January I was only on about 22 friend lists. It went up and down a bit but that was the average. By the end of January I was on 39 and now I'm on 40. I don't even know who most of them are since I don't have a premium account. I know most of the original 22 have never even messaged me. I don't know why people do that, why add someone before you get to know them? You might just as well click Stalk instead. I don't mind people having me on their lists and I know there are people out there that it's much more extreme for but I still find it strange. I won't add people unless I've gotten to know them some and even then only if I interact with them on a regular basis. Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to add someone that I've been meaning to for a while but I never remember when I'm online.

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SinginGhost88
19:09 Feb 06 2010

I was in your room last night, i didn't know you slept with a lil teddy bear!!!



>;)

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Unlike some people I unfortunately do remember dreaming last night, it was creepy and gross. In real life I have an absess that I haven't been able to afford to get taken care of. In my dream it got so bad that it was swelling my gums to almost twice their size. It was just weird. At first I didn't even notice it because my entire head was growing to be proportionate. Someone mentioned it to me though and when I touched my gums this green puss started oozing out them, my nose, and somewhere at the back of my mouth. I kept squeezing until everything went back to normal size. It was just disgusting.

*sigh* Well, my 'date' with Mandi got pushed back to 1 because she got too drunk last night and only JUST woke up. I'm sitting here asking myself, is sex REALLY worth this much?

I slept at least half decently last night. I don't feel so pathetic anymore, that's a good start. Hopefully I can have a repeat performance when I go to bed tonight.

Well that improved my mood a little. I managed to get ahold of Mandi and since it's so late she didn't want to try for tonight but we're still on, now she wants to meet me at 11. She's going to meet me and lead me to her place so I'm guaranteed to find it. I haven't gotten laid in the middle of the day in a long while, not since Deanna and I stopped sleeping together.

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Lolita
08:21 Feb 06 2010

Good for you Placid!!

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placidchaos
16:28 Feb 06 2010

lol, Thanks. That's typically the kind of response I'd expect from a guy though. ;)

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Malky
17:47 Feb 06 2010

good luck dude, its hard to find decent girls in this state.

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This night is not working out well at all. I'm supposed to be getting laid right about now but I'm not because I can't find her address. So on top of being frustrated and annoyed that I can't find the place I'm supposed to be going to, I'm also severely sexually frustrated. Nice combo. I'm still exhausted as hell from lack of sleep. My nap this afternoon was a no go, I just couldn't manage to fall asleep. I think I might have to go to Wal-Mart and get some otc sleep meds. I really don't want to take sleeping pills but want and need aren't always the same thing. If I don't get some decent sleep within the next day or so I'm probably going to be incapcitated. The last time I got this far into the stages of sleep deprivation and went a little beyond I started hallucinating and I couldn't walk straight. It was like I was drugged. Anyway, I'm done bitchin' for the moment.

Well this is just annoying. I'm supposed to be hooking up with this chic named Mandi but I can't find her address. It's like it's invisible and yahoo maps is of no help.

This should give you a general idea of how stubborn I can be. I woke up around 3 this morning feeling like I was starving. It annoyed me though so I didn't eat. Here it's almost 8:30 in the evening and I still haven't eaten. Yeah. I think I'll stop by the store while I'm out to get something to eat before I go to bed.

Crap. I'm officially entering the stages of severe sleep deprivation and suffering for it. With just a little bit of physical exertion I break out into a sweat, get shaky and week, and get really sick to my stomach. I've been through this before so I recognize the signs. It sucks.

I just got an email from H&R block telling me that my return will be on my card within the next couple of hours. I couldn't be happier at the moment. Almost all of it is going toward rent and other bills and what isn't is probably going toward other necessities but at least I have something to tide me over until I get a new job.



Speaking of which... I called the 2 Wal-Mart stores that I applied with but they're both only hiring part time cashiers right now. If I can't find anything else I'll take it, part time is better than no time. Besides, maybe they'll let me do part time at both stores so that I can get all the hours I need.

Ok, I know this is going to sound strange but... Why is it that women seem to think the only thing to do when riding is go up and down on it? I mean, really? Haven't you ever noticed how much guys like it when a girl can really move her hips while dancing? It's true that there's a beauty to it but it's also a sign that she can use her hips well in other situations too. If you're dancing do you just move them back and forth or up and down? No. Seriously, dance on a guy's dick sometime and see how he reacts.

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FatalAttraction
18:08 Feb 05 2010

Are you referring to lastnight? Did you want to see if she rotated any? lol.

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placidchaos
18:31 Feb 05 2010

Ha ha, Not quite. That video was some of the fuel behind this though.

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I haven't been able to get back to sleep yet. I feel so tired. I keep trying to lay down and close my eyes but after a while they drift open and I get restless so I start messin' around on my computer again. *sigh*



I was dinkin' around on VF earlier when I came across a video a girl posted of herself dancing at 2 in the morning. It was the best strip tease video I've ever seen. She was super sexy, she's only 16. I feel like a dirty perv.

I don't know what the deal is. I've only been asleep maybe about 3 hours but I jus suddenly woke up. My eyes just opened and I was awake. I feel ravenous too. *sigh* I'm going to get a drink of water and try to go back to sleep.

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
10:16 Feb 05 2010

THAT just happened to me right now too. O.O

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So apparently my neighbors forgot to close their blinds or they're exhibitionists. I looked out my window to see what it's like out side and noticed a pair of boobs bouncin' away in the apartment across the lot from me. They didn't list a good view as one of the perks of this place! lmao You know I couldn't resist that one.

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FatalAttraction
06:26 Feb 05 2010

LMFAO! Free Porno without having to search online. Wow. lol.

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placidchaos
06:41 Feb 05 2010

Oh yeaya, you know it! heh heh heh

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Eleanna
07:27 Feb 05 2010

Lmao!!!

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You know, I'm not very good at meeting women. At least not typically speaking. Actually, I'm not really that great at meeting anyone. I'm just not that good at starting conversations with people I don't know. I mean, what do you say to a complete stranger? I might as well just walk up and say, "So, the sky is blue." Ha ha. Actually, now that I think of it that does seem like a strange but good way to break the ice. I think I'll try that out one of these days. I'm laughing my ass off just thinking about it.

You know, in tems of natural aesthetic appeal Japanese women and Irish women are generally the most attractive in my opinion. Well, Russian women might come in ahead of Irish women, I'm not sure. At least they're close in there. Either way, those are my top 3.

This isn't something that comes up in casual conversation all that often so not many people know this about me but, I am a dom by nature. Not meaning that I like to control every aspect of my partner's life. I've tried to explain this facet of myself a few times but I never manage to do it quite right, I'm not great at explaining anything though. I just simply have those tendencies. However, it's been a while since I've had that sort of interaction with a woman. It's hard enough to find a good woman to date without adding that to it. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't like to find that again though.

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WildChild
04:40 Feb 05 2010

Sounds more like Alpha then Dom to me..

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placidchaos
04:49 Feb 05 2010

I'm not sure how you got that without any real information from me on this but no, it's more than an Alpha type.

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*sigh* I'm so tired of all the fuckwits in this world, most of them live in this country. Maybe I should go on a killing spree, it would be doing to world a favor I think. *sigh* No, I won't really go kill people at random. I'm just really freakin' annoyed right now.

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xxEmaeraldxx
00:54 Feb 05 2010

heh, I agree with the first two and half lines! Hope you get whatever is bothering you resolved and get to chill..

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placidchaos
02:03 Feb 05 2010

Heh, No worries.

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It's actually pretty nice out. I have a few bucks until I get my paycheck so I think I'll go enjoy a nice walk to Kum&Go and buy a soda pop.

I finally stopped procrastinating and filed an application online with Wal-Mart. I'll call them tomorrow afternoon after I get my paycheck if I don't hear from them by then.

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FatalAttraction
20:43 Feb 04 2010

Word of advice?! CALL THEM AND ANNOY THE PISS OUT OF THEM FOR WEEKS UNTIL YOU GET AN INTERVIEW. They suck at calling people back. My boyfriend works at Wal-Mart and I've applied 3 times, no word for me. I may have to re-do it someday soon if Burger King get's shut down.

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placidchaos
21:09 Feb 04 2010

Ha ha, That's my usual MO. The last time I worked for Wal-Mart I called them twice and the last time the lady stressed that they would call me when something opened. I thanked her and said, "Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow then. Bye!" I was hired 2 days later.

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Hmmmm... One more day of being pretty much broke. There are things I need to do over the next week besides get a job. Bed time.

Steak and potatoes again! I'm eatin' good so far this week. The stake was a little dryer than I would have preferred but it was still good. Tomorrow I'm having pork again, I think. I haven't really decided yet. I'm debating shellin' out a couple bucks for something else that's cheap at the store. Either friday or saturday I know I'm having chicken breast, I'm going to get some Blazin' sauce to cook it with. Anyway, I'm feeling tired and my headache got worse after I ate so I'm going to lie down and turn out the lights.

Well crap. I can't figure out what I did with the papers I got after I filed my taxes, it's not like I really need them right now but I can't find them. I was going to check on the status of my return and I need to know the exact amount of the return (why I can't just give them my information is beyond me) in order to do that, it's not something I have to do but I wanted to. *sigh* Oh well for now then I guess.

Do you want to see something hilarious? Go poke your nose around the casual encounters section of craigslist and see how many straight guys are looking to fuck around with other men. It's funny as hell. I don't care if you're just doing it out of curiosity, if you're willing to be with a guy you aren't straight! Bi-curious maybe, maybe after that one time you'll go back to being straight but for as long as you're willing to play with the same sex it's just not possible.

I feel like I need to get laid so bad right now. *sigh*

I just sliced open the inside of my cheek on... I don't honestly remember what those teeth are called, the two behind the canines. I was trying to get something stuck in the back of my teeth on the bottom out with my tongue and I felt a quick pain and then tasted blood, when I looked there's a nice little cut on the inside of my cheek. I think eating the meat sharpened my teeth... Not really, I don' remember those teeth being quite that sharp though.

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MorbidAngels15
19:20 Feb 03 2010

I have done the same before.....:( *hugs*

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placidchaos
19:24 Feb 03 2010

I've bitten into my cheek with them and I used to cut the inside of my mouth all the time with my canines but that was a first for me. It was a bit of a surprise.

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Well my headache's been shut out to the tiniest hint of pain but I know by the way it feels that if I do anything that get's my blood pumping I'll be dealing with it all. This sucks. Day 5 of this headache and it's pissing me off. One or two days is whatever but five is pushing it. I remembered to take my Nasonex today so we'll see if that helps or not, the down side to taking that is sometimes it runs down the back of my throat and burns when it does. I'm going to dig around through some of my stuff to see if I can find my prescription Ibuprofen. Well, I'm going to go hop in the shower and relax in there before I do anything else right now.

I miss my fangs. This came up in conversation and so it's on my mind. I used to have natural fangs, I'm talking about full on vamp look. It was awesome. That was how they were right up until I was 13. I was bouncing on a trampoline with my sister and I tried to do a flip, I hit a dead spot when I did it though. Instead of bouncing up in the air and flipping, my upper body shot forward like I was curling into a ball and I bit down on my knee. My to front 2 teeth were shoved up so much that the bone anchoring them spread and they came out root and all. The teeth on either side of those were cracked but only minorly. My left fang was chipped off almost half way but my right one stayed in tact, the dentist decided it would be best to shave the right one down so that I wouldn't be so severely lopsided though. Of course, he'd been trying to get me to let him file them both down for a few years because they were so sharp I could cut myself on them with very little effort. *sigh* If I ever win the lottery I'm going to have getting my teeth restored as the top of my list.

Well this hardly seems fair. My head hurts less sitting up than it does lying down... *sigh* I just wish I could remember what I did with my prescription Ibuprofen. I usually won't take it unless my knee's acting up since that's the only thing that does anything for me and Ibuprofen messes up your stomach. Today I'm in the mood to make an exception simply because I'm tired of this headache, I've decided that 4 days is long enough and I need to do something about it.

I have a headache and it's driving me nuts. Unless I sit completely still and turn out all the lights it won't even think of going away. On the plus side, if I wasn't so good at shutting this kind of pain away it would be a really bad migraine. I guess that's something to be thankful for, right?

If we were locked up in my room for twenty-four hours and we could do whatever you wanted, what would you do with me?

Tell me in a message, then repost this in your journal. You might be surprised with the responses you get, they could make you laugh or even smile.

I'm feeling bored and starting to feel restless. I'm debating scrounging up my quarters and heading to one of the bars nearby to see if there's a pool table worth playing on around here.

I need to remember to get some chairs for my table and a vaccum when I can. Those among other furnishings I still need for my place.

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Lolita
00:00 Feb 03 2010

The first sentence sounded kinky oO lol

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Bah. Now I'm a little pissy. I moved my monitor so that the sun wasn't glaring on it but it messes up my wireless signal, this means that I can either leaveit in the glare and watch my show through it or go without for a while. I don't like either option.

YUM! Spicy pork strip with mashed potatoes!

I need freedom, I search for it but I only find temporary substitutes. Where is my freedom?

I had little motivation yesterday, I feel like I have less today. I'm not interested in anything except hiding from the world at the moment. I don't want to have to interact with people face to face because the only interaction I'm really interested that requires face to face contact right at the moment is physical and I'm not talking about sex. Maybe I'll pretend the world doesn't exist until Friday when I get paid.

I'm feeling that itch again. I'd never really stopped to consider before just how much I'm not a sedentary person by nature. I probably would have been something along the lines of a wandering swordsman if I'd been born a few centuries earlier.

I just got back in a moment ago from a nice walk. Not overly long but not necessarily short either, it felt good. I haven't been going on my evening walk over the last several months and I've been missing it.

I just had a double flash back moment.

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Lolita
01:10 Feb 02 2010

So you took twice as much acid as I did back in the day? :D

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placidchaos
01:18 Feb 02 2010

Ha ha, Not quite Lolita.

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You know, one of the things I miss the most about having friends to hang out with is playing basketball. That was one of my favorite things to do. I remember when I was in school in my hometown my friends and I would play streetball. We had a rule: If you weren't hurt when the game was over you weren't playing. We threw each other around, knocked each other on our asses, and were just generally rough. We turned basketball into a full contact sport. It was fun. Just playing regular basketball is fun too.

Damn it. My stupid computer's acting up really bad right now. It's annoying the hell out of me but at this moment there's not much that I can do about it, so I'm down here at the business center of my apartment complex. As soon as I can I'm going to get my comp fixed but that may be a couple weeks, at least it has some good days.



I'm so bored. I hate not having a job to go to. I'm going to call the Pizza Hut I applied with tomorrow to see if I can talk to the general manager and set up an interview.

That. Was. Delicious. The steak was juicy and the flavor was just awesome. I made the mashed potatoes buttery and spicy. I haven't eaten that well in so long.... I'm feeling very satisfied at the moment.

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:45 Feb 01 2010

Oh man, I wished I never read that.. I am still dieting!! Gotta be size 8 for summer!

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I tried something a little different than I usually do with my seasoning of my meat, something new for me. I used my usuals like pepper, salt, and garlic. I also added cayenne and then I rubbed in just a tiny bit of Jack Daniels original spicy BBQ sauce. I'll see how it tastes when the steak's done cooking.

I went down to Bag N Save and bought some food for the week. I got a couple steaks, a pack of pork, some garlic, and some cayenne. I'm am going to eat well this week. I'm preheating the oven right now so I can cook one of the steaks for my lunch. I still have some chicken breast in the freezer too, so I think I'm good for the week until I get my paycheck. Then it should only be a week until I get my tax return. I've decided that I'm going to go buy a bottle of Blazin' sauce to cook with at home when I get paid this week.

Do you know what the funniest thing about VF is? You'll get cult invites from all of these sexually oriented cults and they'll have warnings like "This is a cult with mature content. Members 16+ only!" or something similar, I saw one that said 14+. I'm sitting here wondering how many adults over 18 are stupid enough to join these cults? I mean, come on! If any adult joins that cult and contributes any 'mature content' while there are members that are minors in it they can get bitch slapped by the law and labeled a sex offender. Are people REALLY that stupid?

Well... I am up, I have showered.... That's about it so far today. I need to get a move on though, there are things I need to do. I need to find a job.

These last couple days I've been unusually stiff and sore, I don't know why though. It feels like I've been doing some serious physical labor or exercise and over did it but I know I haven't. Oh well.

I just finished reading Dhampir, the first book in the Noble Dead series. It was pretty good, definitely worth reading.



You know, I love mashed potatoes and always have. They make a great snack.