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oh, it's time to wax melodramatic...

lost my job last friday...found some

friends over the weekend...decided

to try it my little old man's way...feel

pathetic way down deep, don't show

any of it on the surface...no, it does not

fix the way i actually feel, but maybe

its time for me to stop wallowing...

what an ugly word...

on a totally happy note, i now

have a premium membership thanks to

my rediculously generous coven master,

CryingMist!!!!!!!

she is the sweetest lady around!!

i changed the titles of my sections, and

now i am really getting into spicing up

my profile...but it's a little overwheming!

:)

so basically just nesting...

...i am sooooooooo

completely upset...the little

old hippy man who owns the store

across the street with his little

guatemalian wife, has shaved his head!!

he used to be a little fat, jerry

garcia looking, very curly headed, salt-and-

pepper, cutie...

now?

i am so sad...

:(

this is like when my little old man

got rid of his long hair...

why do i love long hair on a man

and every single one of you little

testosterone-filled fruit loops cuts it

as soon as i notice....

i need a cig...

i think of sharky

from maryland...

always with his,

aloha, got a ciggybutt?

i heard later he

used to get cartons

of cigs from home...

he just bummed

because he could...

never sure how i

feel about that...

i know for certain now that

i have no idea how to behave...

i am just resigning myself to the

idea that i will always feel

somewhat out of place in my

own skin...

i got to laugh at my own

pathetic behavior...

i think i wrote some crap

like this just a few days ago...

:)

i can't even allow myself the

luxury of the illusion that i

am entitled to feel sad...

i'm not...entitled that is...

i was reading some interpretation

of neitzche and this guy was

saying that neitzche's whole

point was to rush the inevitable

conclusion of nothing means

anything, because the important

part was humanity moving on to

the next phase of existance

and he wanted it to happen

faster...

he just saw it as something we

needed to pass through...

what is the next step after

i don't mean anything?