A horney husband was helping his wife set up a password for their new computer, he typed in PENIS, his wife fell off her chair laughing when it said, not long enough.
A husband says to his wife, "Your ass is as big as a BBQ grill".....later when her husband tries to get some, she replies, "I'm not going to fire up this grill tonight."
~oxidisingangel
1) Did you fart? You blew me away.
2) My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
3) Is there a mirror in your pants? I can see myself in them.
4)I you was a tree and I was a squirrel, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
5) I know i'm no Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
And the best Redneck pickup line:
Your face reminds me of a wrench, everytime I think of you my nuts tighten up.
Hope I made you laugh......
`oxidisingangel
Last week was so nice, took my boat out on the water, cast my pole in a few times. Set out all the patio furniture, cooked on the grill, got the hottub around, ( but in the process I fried the computer chip board) , so now I'm waiting for a new one.
Wake up this morning freezing my ass off, I can't believe it and the weather man says a possibility of snow...
Just my luck!!
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into the bar. The bartender says, I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
I went to a seafood disco last week....and pulled a mussel.
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor repiled, I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!".
~hope I made you smile
oxidisingangel
I'm so happy this morning, I found out that I didn't loose someone whom I care deeply for. Although he had to go out and find out that I was really the only one who is honest to him about my feelings, even though he felt he needed to do this I stood by him. I knew he would never find anyone who would feel the way I do about him.
See Dee-jay I told you, now maybe all will be well with us :)
You always have been and will always be in my heart.
xxx's from me to you
~oxidisingangel
COMMENTS
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Oceane
21:33 Apr 29 2008
rofl lmao