The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

When we arrived at the mall, we went to the food court. Almost all of the places there were fast food but we were able to get pasta salad, spring mix salad and potato salad. Once we had eaten, we went shopping and fooling around with people. We would randomly stop to talk to the workers and ask for items we knew they didn't sell and the pretend we couldn't understand why they didn't have any. They would get so confused! It was funny. Other times we would talk to other shoppers and ask them their opinions on what we were looking at and whether or not they thought we should buy it. We would follow them around pestering them about the item until they left the store! I'm sure people thought we were either insane or high! The mall closed at seven because it was Sunday so we were back at my parent's before eight which was relatively early for us. Marissa was parked in front of the television set once again when we went in.



"Did you buy out store?" she asked, eyeing the bags we carried in.



Bianca laughed. "I found some things I just had to have," she told my sister. "Come on Christina, let's go dump these bags before I have no feeling left in my hands!"



"Marissa probably thinks that I went broke," I told her while we were emptying the bags in my room.



Bianca looked up from the new jeans she was folding. "Well, she could just ask nicely and I would show her what I bought."



"Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen!" I told her as I folded some of the new shirts she had bought.



"Then I guess she won't get to see my new things!"



We folded the new clothes Bianca had charged on credit cards that her parents had signed for. "I better go make Tasha's fruit and vegetable plate," I said after we were finished.



"Okay. I'll get changed while you do that."



I went and cut up some apples, carrots and string beans to give Tash for her dinner and went back to my room. "Are you all set?" I asked through the door before walking in.



"I'm set!" Bianca called out. I walked in and found her holding Tasha and sitting in the middle of the floor. "She was squeaking so I took her out."



I smiled, "She's going to have you wrapped around her tiny paw!" I went and set the plate on the floor near Bianca and Tash scrambled out of Bianca's lap and over to the plate. "She new that I was getting her dinner and wanted to be able to eat outside the cage," I explained. "She knows that at dinner time, she gets to roam around after she eats to get some exercise."



"She really eats fast! Look at her jaws moving like that!"



"I know, it's pretty amazing to watch how quickly that plate of food will disappear! I think she eats faster than most people do!" We watched Tasha finish up her dinner. When she was done she started walking around my bedroom floor, stopping to sniff Bianca because she was still a 'new' scent. I let her wander for about twenty minutes, then put her in her cage so I didn't end up having to clean up after an 'accident' like I had to do in the past. "So what do you feel like doing now?"



"I don't know. It's kind of early but everything is already closed so there is nowhere to go really. Want to watch a movie or something?"



"What kind of movies do you like?"



"Do you have anything scary?"



I laughed. "Yeah right! My parents watch mostly classics and my sister likes musicals."



"We can run to the video store and rent something," she suggested.



"Cool! Let me get my parent's rental card."



"Okay, I will get my shoes on and we can run out."



We got ready and as we were leaving Marissa of course wanted to know where we were going. When I told her that we were running out to get a video to watch, she became defensive. "You know I don't watch anything scary!" she stated adamantly.



"Seeing as you have been doing nothing but watch television since mom and dad left, I think I should be able to use the television for a few hours," I replied.



"You're a jerk! I'm going to tell mom that you kicked me out of the living room when they call tonight!"



"Go ahead! I'll tell her how you haven't done anything but watch TV and eat junk!" I said triumphantly as I walked out the door.



Bianca was already at the bottom of the stairs. She was laughing. "Good job! You didn't let her steamroll over you!"



"She made me mad! Telling me that I can't use the television for two lousy hours when I haven't used it for days? No way!"



She laughed, "It's better to see you angry about it then see you just let her do what she wants!" We got in the jeep and drove to the video store that was only a few minutes away.

My night was plagued with nightmares that woke me up trembling. Each time I awoke, Bianca was there holding me and watching me. I finally was able to fall sound asleep somewhere around six in the morning. My sister had church in the morning and performed with the choir, so she didnt try and bother us early. When I finally awoke, it was past one in the afternoon and the sun was shining brightly through the blinds. I felt a slight pain as the sun hit my eyes, realizing that I would have to either get heavier blinds or heavier curtains to keep the sunlight outside more. I rolled over and found Bianca still sleeping soundly beside me. I smiled as I leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. She blinked her eyes open, saw me smiling down at her and kissed me back.



"Are you feeling any better this morning? You seemed to settle down after a few hours?" she asked me.



"I'm sorry that I kept you up. I usually end up having nightmares after I talk about what happened. It brings all the memories to close to the surface and I relive them in my dreams," I apologized to her.



"Don't say your sorry for having nightmares. I didn't mind watching you until you fell asleep. I just wish there was a way I could somehow erase the memories from your mind," she said as she reached up and brushed my hair back from my face. "Where is Marissa? I didn't here her come in badgering you this morning?"



I laughed. "No, she didn't come in. It's Sunday. She is in the church choir so she is gone almost all morning. She should be back in about thirty or forty-five minutes."



"Is it okay if I use the shower before she gets here?" she asked as she stretched and sat up.



"Sure, that's fine. If we both get showered and ready before she gets here, then we can leave!"



She laughed. "Awww, what's wrong? You don't want to spend time staring at a television screen all day with Marissa?" she said sarcastically.



"I know! Have you ever seen anyone that crazed over the disney channel? She watches it all day and night if my parents are not around!"



"What the hell for? It's mostly little kid shows or pre-teen idol movies!" she continued talking as she climbed off the bed and went to get her clothes off the dresser. "She's older than me and I don't like that stuff!"



"She always watches that kind of shows. They are so annoying and stupid but if I say anything about them, she goes and bitches to my mother about it and I get yelled at so I don't even bother anymore."



Bianca had all her clothes together and turned to me to say, "I will be quick about it so you can get in and done too!" She then ran down the hallway and I heard the bathroom door slam shut and then the shower start. I got up and went to my dresser to pick out my outfit for the day. I then hurried up and picked up any laundry we had left lying on the floor from the game last night and threw them in the hamper. I would have to run the laundry downstairs to the the washer today so it didn't pile up too much. I made the bed then went to get Tasha her lettuce breakfast. I had just finished putting it in her cage when Bianca came back into the room, dressed and hair dripping. "All done!" she announced with a smile.



"Great! I will just be a few minutes. If she comes home while I am in there, just ignore her," I advised as I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom. I took probably the fastest shower of my life! I got out, dried off enough then brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a ponytail so it was off my neck. I grabbed the laundry that was in the bathroom hamper before heading back to my room. "Bianca, can you help me take the clothes down to be washed?" I asked her when I got into the room.



She had been sitting watching Tasha eat her lettuce. She stood up and grabbed the hamper, "Sure. Where do you need to bring it?"



I started heading to the back door of the apartment. "It's just down in the basement. If I throw the wash in now, when we come back, I can throw it in the dryer," I explained.



She looked confused. "Oh, you actually do the laundry here?"



I laughed. "Well it is either that or wear dirty clothes after a week or so!"



She laughed as she said, "My parents just pay somebody to do the laundry. I guess i just assumed that everyone did that!"



"Don't I wish! It's too expensive for most people to do that though.



Bianca looked embarrassed, "I guess i don't really think about what the cost of things are."



"Hey, don't worry about it. Just be glad that you don;t have to think about money and costs!" We braught the money down to the laundry room and I started the washing machine. When we were almost back to the top of the stairs, i heard my phone ringing so I raced into the apartment to answer it. Out of breath, i answered, "Hello?"



"Christina? Hi! Oh my god, I thought that you weren't there!" I recognized Ella's familiar soft voice.



"Ella! How are you? Where are you?" I said excitedly, feeling somewhat guilty about the fact that I hadn't really thought much about her over the past week or so.



She replied, "I'm doing okay. We are in Paris right now. We got in from England last night. What have you been doing? Have you talked to Bianca at all? I miss you guys so much!"



"Where did you go in England? Did you take lots of pictures?" I asked as I tried to avoid answering her last question.



"We went to Scotland and Wales before spending time in London. We saw Stonehenge, so I took pictures of that to show you! Tell me what's going on with you though! I'm hungry for info from home!"



"Stonehenge! Lucky! I can't wait to see the pictures!" I noticed Bianca in my doorway and motioned her to come sit on the bed with me. "I've still been working on campus with Liz. Umm, Bianca is actually right here with me. She spent the night."



"Really? Wow! I guess you guys did hit it off!"



I laughed somewhat uncomfortably. "Yeah, guess so. We've been getting to know each other better." I looked over at Bianca but she just shrugged. When were we going to tell Bianca about the two of us? How would she take it? Would she feel left out?



Ella replied warmly, "I am so glad that the two of you are getting along. Are you keeping each other company for me?"



"We've been spending a lot of time together. Do you want to talk to Bianca?"



"This is so great! I get to talk to the both of you!"



I laughed as I handed the phone to Bianca. Bianca talked to Ella for a few minutes before handing the phone back to me. "How often are you able to call us?" I asked.



"My parents said that I can call on Sundays after dinner."



"After dinner?" Oh right, the time difference! "What time is it there?"



"I know! Isn't it weird? It's just after eight at night here."



"Eight? Yikes! We haven't even had lunch yet!"



Ella laughed, "Well, I have to go. My parents don't want me to talk for too long because the calls are expensive. I miss you guys! I wish I could have stayed there with you!"



I didn't want her to hang up already! "I miss you too!" I held the phone between Bianca and myself so that we could both say goodbye. "Take alot of pictures, okay?"



"I will! Try to be together next Sunday around this time too so I can talk to you both together again!"



Knowing that we most likely would be together all next weekend, I promised her. We all said goodbye and I hung up my phone. I turned to look at Bianca, wondering if she felt as conflicted as I was. What would happen when Ella came back?



"Don't look so worried Chrissy! Things will work out. We will figure out what to do when it happens. There's no reason to chase problems." She reached over and hugged me.



I tried to relax as i told myself that she was right. Ella wouldn't be back for another month and a half. If I started worrying about what might happen, I would drive myself crazy. "So what do you feel like doing today? Are you hungry?" I asked her.



"I could eat something. Do you like going to the mall? We could find something to eat in the food court and then go 'malling' for a while?"



"That's fine with me. Want to head out?" We got our shoes ona dn i found my house keys and wallet. Bianca grabber her things and we locked up, went down the stairs and outside. Marissa was sitting in her friend Kara's car. She was in choir with her and usually brought my sister home. Why they didn't just go inside the house to talk was beyond me.



"Hey spaz brain, where are you going?" Marissa yelled to me across the yard.



Walking over towards her, "Bianca and I are going to the mall. If you need me, beep me," I told her.



Marissa snorted and rolled her eyes. "What would I need you for?"



I felt my jaw tighted and my face flush with anger. "I'm just letting you know. You never know if an emergency is going to happen."



"Right, and if something sis happen, you really think I would ant to call you so that you can freak out about it? Great, then i would have to worry about whether you were going to cut yourself up or try to kill yourself!" Marissa said sarcastically.



Ashameed, I felt my head drop and tears stinging at the back of my eyelids. Why did she think that it was okay to say things like that in front of people that I didn't even really know? "Whatever, I was just letting you know that I have my phone and pager. Bye Kara." I turned on my heal and walked rapidly towards Bianca's jeep trying to stop the tears from falling. Bianca unlocked the doors and we climbed in. I sat, straight back, eyes staring forwards but seeing nothing while my nails dug into my hands. I felt Bianca's eye on me as she started teh engine up. She pulled down the street and headed towards the mall.



"Are you okay?" she asked quietly as she reached over and put her hand on top of my clenched one.



"I'm fine. It doesn't matter. I don't matter. I just screw up people's lives." I stated.



"Do you seriously believe what you are saying?" She pulled off the road and into a parking lot before shutting off the jeep. Turning to look at me, she said, "She had no right to say those things to you! She sure as hell had no right to say something like that in front of other people! You were being considerate and she treated you obnoxiously in return!" She pryed my hands apart and held them.



"She's right I am useless." Without my nails digging into me, I could no longer stop the tears.



"You are not! She is selfish and inconsiderate! No wonder you think so poorly of yourself!"



I wiped my damp face and said, "Look, just forget about it. It's no big deal. Come on, let's just go."



"Chrissy, I'm serious. She needs to stop calling you names and putting you down like that. If you don't tell her, I will."



I laughed at the thought of Bianca putting Marissa in her place. "You're going to defend me against my sister? That's silly! She has always acted like this. She behaves like she is my mother instead of my younger sister."



"Just because she does it all the time doesn't make it okay." She turned the key and started up the jeep again. "I don't want to see you get hurt by anyone."



I smiled as I told her, "Don't let it ruin our day together, okay?"



She pulled back onto the roadway. "I don't plan on it!" She blasted the radio and we sang along as she drove the rest of the way to the mall.

I watched as her eyes traveled down my body, seeing the love and the hunger inside them, knowing they reflected mine. Her gaze made me blush and turn my head, afraid to see her as she saw me. I felt her hand gently turn my face back towards hers.



"It's okay Chrissy. I won't hurt you, I promise." She drew me close to her and held me tightly. "Are you doing okay?" she asked quietly.



I nodded, unable to find the words to tell her how difficult this was for me. I felt myself start to shake. Not wanting her to notice, I quickly said, "Yeah, sure, I'm fine."



"Chrissy, you're shaking! What's wrong? Please tell me so I can help you." She grabbed my nightshirt off the floor and quickly put it on me, then grabbed her own top and put it on.



"No, really, I'm okay. I'm just cold. That's all," I tried to assure her, knowing that tears were coming to the surface.



She took ahold of my shoulders and looked at me directly, her eyes scanning mine. "You are not fine! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have pushed you into doing this! I didn't mean to upset you, I just wanted you to feel more comfortable with your body. I shouldn't have done this. Oh goddess, what can I do to make it up to you?"



"No! It's not you Bianca! It's me! I'm stupid and useless and disgusting and I don't deserve to live! If you knew the truth about me, you wouldn't want to look at me, let alone touch me!"



"I already saw your scars, all of them now. I know you have been in the hospital for wanting to kill yourself. I know you have to see a therapist. I told you, Ella talks to me when she is worrying about you. There is no reason that I would not want to touch you!"



"Fine! Fine! So Ella told you about that! Did she tell you why I have to see a therapist? Did she tell you why I want to be dead? How about why I drag razors through my skin? Hmmm? Did she tell you what a slut I am? Did she tell you all about how I let my own cousin have sex with me for 3 years? Did she? I doubt it!" I grew louder and more hysterical as I spoke.



Bianca looked shocked at my tirade, saying nothing at all at first. "Ella told me that it was your personal information and that it was not up to her to tell me. I figured that when you were ready, you would tell me what it was that made you feel so badly about yourself and your life." She was very quiet and I felt like the quietness would suffocate me. "Please, talk to me. I'm right here. I'm listening. I want to know and I want to understand. I don't want to do anything that hurts you or upsets you."



I was still shaking, "You don't get it! I am bad! I am dirty! I am the whore!"



"Christina! Stop it! You are not a whore! Please just tell me what you are talking about. What happened with your cousin?"



"I am a whore! I am! I let him have sex with me for 3 years! That makes me a whore and it makes me dirty!" I was digging my nails into the skin on my legs, trying to calm down. Bianca noticed and pryed my fingers off and held my hands.



"How am I supposed to understand when you are not explaining it. Don't hurt yourself. Just take a breath for me and try to calm down." She began breathing deep and slow and I felt my breathing begin to copy hers. My shaking slowed and I was more in control again. "Good job Chrissy. Now try and tell me what you are talking about because I don't know what it is you are yelling about. If you feel like you are going to start tensing up or yelling, take deep breaths, okay?"



I took a few more deep breaths before I tried to talk. "Okay. I'm sorry for losing control like that. I try really hard not to do that in front of people."



"Don't apologize for getting upset. Being upset is normal. Something obviously got you worked up and I can't help make sure that it doesn't happen again unless you tell me what it was."



"I know. I just don't want you to hate me or leave me and I know that you will when I tell you."



"You can't say that you 'know' I will hate you or leave you. You don't know how I will feel or what I will do because you are not me. Let me decide what I feel and what I do, ok?"



I sighed, "You think I haven't been through this before? You think that you are the first person I have told? I have lost friends and family over what I did."



"Well, you told Ella and she didn't hate you or leave you, right? Don't just assume that I will be like other people."



"Whatever," I said before launching into my story. "I was about three and he was around 30 when it started. He would babysit me for my parents and he started touching me. I didn't know it was wrong. Then he would make me touch him and watch him while he touched himself. By the time I was around four he was having sex with me. I knew that there was something wrong about it because he warned me not to say anything or else I would be taken away from my parents. It ended when I was going on 6 and he was killed in a car accident," I stated with no emotion. "Okay, now you know."



Bianca was still holding my hands and she squeezed them tighter. "Oh Chrissy, that's awful! I am so sorry that happened to you! You have to stop thinking that it was your fault. Did you hear yourself? You were 3 and he was 30. You didn't understand what he was even doing, he did or he wouldn't have told you not to tell. He is the bad one, not you! I am glad he is dead, because if he wasn't, I would go after him myself! He deserves to be in Hell for what he did to you!" She let go of my hands and asked, "Is it okay if I give you a hug? I don't want to make you feel scared or upset."



I looked up at her in surprise. "You want to hug me? After what I just told you, you still want to hug me?"



"Chrissy! It is not your fault! You are not dirty or bad or a whore because he did those things to you! I loved you before you told me and I love you now!"





"How can you? I hate myself! How can anyone love me?"



"You were a little girl and he was an adult! He took advantage of that and he hurt you! That doesn't make you bad or dirty. You deserve to be loved. You don't deserve to be hated or hurt for what happened to you. I love you and that doesn't change anything about my love for you. I think you are a strong and brave person for surviving what he did to you. So, can I hug you or will it scare you?"



"It won't scare me. You don't scare me Bianca. I scare me. My body scares me. If you still want to touch me, you can hug me." She took me gently in her arms and held me, slowly rocking me.



"Come on, I want you to lay down. You need to get some rest. I will be right here for you," she said as she slowly helped me lie down on the bed. "Are you okay with me being with you? I am so sorry that I pushed you into the game. I never meant for it to upset you like that. I just thought it would be a fun and silly way to kind of break the fear you have about nakedness. If I had known what you went through, I wouldn't have done it."



I lay down and held onto her hand. "Of course, I am okay with you being here! I am not mad at you about the game. Obviously, you couldn't have known what I was thinking or feeling. I can't say that the whole game upset me either! Seeing you, not something I regret!"



She laughed as she lay down beside me. "Yeah, I kind of noticed your, shall we call it 'interest' when you were staring at my chest!"



"Hey! What can I say? I don't look at my own chest, so it's not like I have a ton of experience seeing woman's breast you know!"



"Well, speaking from experience, you are definitely not a sight I will regret--or forget!"



"Bianca!" I said, embarrassed.



"What? It's the truth! Would you rather I lied to you about what I thought?" she teased me. "Come on, you need to get some sleep." She kissed me gently and took me in her arms. "I will keep you safe."



I curled up against her body, feeling exhausted and drained emotionally. Within moments I was sound asleep.

"Christina, have you completely lost your mind? Sure it would bind us together, but we would be bound to the darkness, to the night, to the lust for blood!"



"That doesn't have to be a bda thing! I mean, really, what is wrong with belonging to the night? In the daylight, we would live life like everyone else does. Then as night falls, we can live life like no other. It would be like living in two different worlds and one would be a world that was just for the two of us!" I stroked her neck as I spoke, hoping to help keep her desire for blood strong.





"You don't know how strong the feeling is to have blood, how hard it is to fight it!" she said, sounding desperate.



"We wouldn't have to fight it Bianca! We could be there to soothe each others desires!" I wrapped my arm tight around her and pulled her close to me.



"Christina, you are not playing fair!" she said laughing and playing with my hair. "How can I say no to anything you ask me?" she whispered as she began kissing me. Her soft warm lips pressed against my own. I kissed her with an intensity that I had not felt before that night. I pressed my lips hard against hers until her mouth opened. My tongue entered her mouth and I held my hand against the back of her head. I felt her heart pounding against mine. "Are you positive that this is what you want? If I turn you, you can't be turned back?" she asked, pulling away from our embrace finally.



"I'm positive! I want you to turn me! I want to be a part of you! I want to be yours and you to be mine!"



"I will have to open a vein for you because you won't be able to do that for yourself yet. When I hold my wrist to your mouth, cover the opened skin completely, then drink what you can, alright?"



"Is there a certain amount I have to drink before I will be turned?"



"Well, it's not an exact measurement, but you will feel the change happening. You'll be able to see through the darkness better, hear the slightest sounds. Your skin will feel like it is aflame from the inside of you. If you start to drink, and it disgusts you, you can stop and you won't have been turned yet."



"It won't bother me and I promise it's something I've wanted but didn't believe could ever happen," I assured her. I felt her shifting her body.



"Okay Chrissy." I felt her wrist against my mouth and my nose was filled with the scent that was like copper pennies. I opened my mouth and brought my lips to her skin. I immediately felt the warm dampness of her blood and tasted the metallic tang. I hungrily began sucking at her opened flesh and felt it coating my tongue and throat as I drank of her. Moments passed as if only seconds and I began to feel the change occuring. My eyes met hers through the darkness and I saw the hunger in her that I felt in myself. I lifted my mouth from her wrist.



"Bianca, it's happenieng! I feel it!" She began laughing softly, then leaned forward to kiss my lips that were still coated in her precious blood.



Pulling away she asked, "Are you ready to go back to your house?"



Laughing, I stretched and began to stand up. "Guess that would be a good idea!" Bianca laughed then stood up and took my hand. Together we walked soundlessly back to her jeep. I no longer felt blind without a light source other then the natural ones in the sky and was able to follow Bianca with ease. Once in the jeep, we hastily returned to the road before turning any lights on. "Do I look different now?" I asked.



"Silly! Did I look different to you?" she asked with a laugh. If it were that easy to pick out who were vampires, everyone would know!" Soon we pulled back into my parents driveway. I was glad to see that our aprtment was in total darkness. I didn't feel like dealing with my sister right then. We quietly climbed the stairs and went inside. Without needing to turn on any lights, we headed straight for my bedroom. Once inside however, I hit the light switch. Bianca looked surprised as she saw me in the light for the first time since she had turned me.



"Good thing your sister's asleep! We have to clean you up! Come on!" she said.



We rushed down the hall into the bathroom, shutting the door behind us. I saw my reflection in the mirror and was shocked to see the blood dried around my lips and on my neck! Bianca turned the water on warm and wet a dark cloth. She swiped at the blood staining my neck until all that remained were two tiny marks that could have been from cat claws. She then cleaned her own blood off of my face. She smiled and threw the cloth in the hamper. "Much better! Now you don't look like you just massacred someone with your teeth!" We returned to my bedroom and Bianca began rummaging through her clothes.



"Hey, now that your parents are away, does that mean I can wear whatever I want to bed," she asked me as she sorted out her clothes into piles on top of my dresser, "or will Marissa report my clothing choices back to them too?"



I thought it over before I replied. "Well, so long as you don't plan on walking around the apartment in anything my parents would consider too revealing or inappropriate, Marissa probably won't see you wearing it. Why? What do you plan on wearing to sleep in?"



"So it would be a case of what she doesn't know won't hurt us!" Bianca said laughing. She turned to face me holding up a big, baggy tank top. "This is what I usually wear to bed. I hate feeling restricted when I am sleeping."



I blushed as I imagined her in the shirt. "Oh, okay. I'm just wearing my usual night shirt and shorts. It's what I always wear." I took them out of my dresser. "Do you want to change in the bathroom or do you want me to go?"



"Marissa's asleep and your parents are hundreds of miles away, relax! There's nobody here to notice where we get changed Chrissy," Bianca said, sounding amused. She bent down, untied her sneakers and stepped out of them. When I saw her begin to unfasten her jeans, I immediately faced the wall, embarrassed. "Chrissy? What's the matter? Are you going to panic everytime we get changed? I'm staying here for a week, I don't think you will survive it if it scares you this much!"



I felt foolish and childish. "I'm sorry. I hoped that you wouldn't notice how I react. I don't know why I get so freaked out! I know it's stupid! I'm sorry that I act like such a baby!" I felt the tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I change in front of my own girlfriend?



I felt Bianca come up behind me and wrap her arms around me. "Chrissy, I don't think that you are a baby! Your parents have basically taught you that everything that has to do with the human body or any kind of sexual expression is wrong and bad but it's not all wrong. Sure there are things that are not good or can hurt you or hurt other people, but not everything to do with the body or sexuality is wrong, I promise. It's not wrong for you to love me, or kiss me, or see me or touch me. I love you and you love me. We are not hurting anyone." She came around to stand in front of me. "It's okay for you to let go of some of their rules and learn to be your own person. Please? Just try, okay?" I nodded wordlessly, knowing that if I were to open my mouth, I would cry. I changed quickly, still averting my gaze from Bianca. I threw my laundry in the hamper then turned to face Bianca. She was picking up her laundry dressed in the tank top, her long legs bare below it's hem.



"Well, does it count as trying when I look at you dressed like that?" I asked jokingly. She turned with a surprised smile on her face.



"Was that a slightly sexualized joke coming from the virginal lips of Miss Christina?" she joked back. "I do believe there is hope for you yet!" She hopped onto my bed and scooted over to the far side. I hit the light switch off and then climbed into bed after her.



"Whatever do you mean? Sexualized jokes coming from my mouth? Never!" I said sarcastically. I got under the covers and curled up against her.



"Hmmm, guess I'm going to have to check out that mouth of yours," she said slyly as she leaned over and began kissing me. I kissed her back eagerly and felt her hand upon my hip as she pulled me tight against her body. "Are you tired?" she murmured after a few minutes had passed.



Shaking my head, I replied, "No, not at all actually. Why? Are you?"



Her hand pressed against the small of my back, drawing me even closer to her. "Uh-uh! I'm feeling pretty playful actually!" Her hand slid underneath my night shirt, her hand feeling cool against the heat of my skin.



"Playful? What did you feel like playing?" I asked her coyly, my heart racing in my chest. Her hand against my bare flesh sent shivers through my body like tiny shock waves.



"I don't know what exactly I feel like playing, but I do know what it is I want to play with, or more precisely, who I want to play with!"



"Really? Who might that be?"



"You!" she said as she began tickling me.



"Hey no fair!! I yelped as I tried to defend myself from her sudden, unexpected attack at my sides. Soon she had me flat on my back, her knees straddling my hips while she pinned my arms over my head. "Okay! Okay! You win!"



"Damn right I win! Now I get my prize!"



Your prize? What prize?"



"Let's see, what can Chrissy give me as a surprise?" She released my hands and thought for a moment. Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Do you have a deck of cards?"



"What? You want a deck of cards as your prize?"



"No, but I can use the deck of cards to play the next game. For my prize, I get to pick what the next game is!" she stated jubialintly.



"Okay, there's a deck of cards on that bookshelf," I said, pointing at the bookshelf next to my bed.



"Bianca stretched over and grabbed the cards off the middle shelf. "Sit up. We're playing rummy." She seemed awfully excited over a simple card game, but I went along. She shuffled and the dealt the cards out. We played for about five or six minutes before she had beaten me. "Woo-hoo! I win! Okay Chrissy, let's start working on you facing your fears! You lost that round, so you lose an item of clothing!"



"What? You didn't say that before the game started!" She seemed pleased with herself.



"Would you have played if I had?" She took one of my hands in hers. "I just want you to see that it's okay and that nothing bad happens if you don't obey every rule that your parents have. I want you to be comfortable with your body and with my body. I love you Chrissy. I won't hurt you. There are so many ways that I want to share myself, my love, with you. You are so frightened that you won't even be able to enjoy or really even experience your feelings. Right now, just remember that it's only a game, okay? It's all in fun."



I was nervous, but at the same time, part of me wanter her to see me and to see her. I stood up and stepped out of my shorts, still clad in my night shirt and underwear. "Ha! Still haven't seen anything!" I teased.



"Playing smart, hmm? Going to make me earn everything are you?" She grabbed the cards, quickly shuffled and dealt another hand. Knowing now what was at stake, I focused more intently on the game play. I beat her by only five points. "Oh well! You win some and you lose some! She stood up and slipped out of her pair of black panties. Her long tank top still covered her so she repeated my earlier comment. "Still haven't seen anything!"



"True, but I still have two pieces left to lose and you only have one!" I said as I picked up the cards to set up the next round. This time she beat me so I dropped my panties on the floor next to hers. My skin was tingling because I knew that whoever lost next would end up with nothing left to lose! I just barely did it, winning by only one point!



"Looks I will be the first to have to grin and 'bare' it!" She began to peel off her top and instinctively I closed my eyes. "Chrissy? It's okay, really, I promise. There is nothing wrong with you looking at my body. I'm yours and I want you to look at me. We share each other's blood and we can share our bodies with each other as well. Please look at me."



I opened my eyes, looking directly into her eyes. "Okay, I'm looking at you," I said as I stared straight ahead.



Bianca laughed, "Well, you are looking at me, but I know you've looked at my eyes before! Come on Chrissy, try looking at the rest of me!"



Remembering how I had looked at her when she had been asleep in Ella's bed, I once again let my gaze take in the shape of her lips, the pale skin on her neck and the graceful curve of her shoulder before allowing my eyes to wander further down to her breasts. As I did, I felt something inside me fill with desire I had never experienced. The perfect roundness of her breasts was only made more alluring by the fullness. Her pink nipples stood erect in the cool night air that blew through my windows. I was filled with the urge to reach out and caress them, to feel them in my hands.



Bianca laughed quietly. "Well no question in my mind! Only a lesbian could look that longingly at another girl's breasts!" I blushed and looked up at her. She leaned closer and kissed the tip of my nose. Look's like you faced that fear and won! Now, I showed you mine so it's your turn to share. Don't be afraid Chrissy. I won't touch you, I promise." She began kissing me tenderly as her fingers took a hold of the hem of my shirt. I felt her slowly lifting it up and easily sliding my arms out of the sleeves one by one. She pulled back long enough to pull it over my head before kissing me again. I could feel my bare flesh against hers. I thought my heart was pounding so fast that it would explode straight threw and out of my body. She slowy pulled away from me, keeping her eyes locked with mine. I could see her love and desire burning in her gaze.