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Have I ever told you, my dear VR, that I faint quite oftenly? Don't get a wrong idea, I do not have any serios condition. In fact,

I could've easily prevented my fainting episodes - but somehow I end up not doing so. Oh well. Probably I would not even have the need

to tell you that, but this is how the whole story started - I came consious after a faint, and found myself in my friend's kitchen.

Oddly enough I was wearing nothing but my underwear and jewelry - such thing never happens to me, in public at least.

Oh well, probably my friend just decided to give me some more breathing space, and was caring enough to open the

windows too - how sweet.



So I got up, my head still a little cloudy. And there was a strange clutching noise, that I thought was just an aftertaste

of passing out. But the noise was definately not in my head - it was moving around, and seemed to be coming from the floor right

around the bar. I walked towards the noise, and saw the cutest thing in my life - a ping-pong ball sized yellow spider running around the kitchen, carrying a little gavel.



The precious thing seemed to be busy hammering sewing needles into the floor, and I was just happy to watch its labor.

While I stood there, my head cleared out, and then I felt sharp annoying pain in my ... ehm.... gluts. I looked down, and saw that my underpants

were carelessly hammered into my body with those sewing needles. Needless to mention who fell under immidiate suspicion of doing this to me. I grew angry

with that little cute sucker, and turned my face to him with an intention of telling him that "this ain't cool, bro". The spider, however, froze still at his place and

watched me inspect my injuries. The moment I looked at him, he threw the gavel aside, and sprinted right at me. The first thing a girl does when attacked?Rise her

arm to protect the face, and that's exactly what I did. He ended up getting onto my wrist and biting into it. Hurted like hell, and his teeth seemed to penetrate the bones - I could not pull the spider away from me.



It's just... Why would something so precious hurt me? I haven't done anything but admire his beauty and hard work, then why in the world would he end up biting into my wrist?



I pulled, and pulled, and cryed, and pulled some more... and ended up ripping his body off his head with teeth still sunken into my flesh.

The sucker probably died, because there was some thick purple liquid spilling out of his body, and then the emptied skin collapsed and turned into a

dahlia. I reached for a knife, and got the spider's head out of my wrist. Following the head, I pulled out about 4 oz of sour craut, a couple of pickled mushrooms,

followed by a splash of creamed corn that managed to mess up the whole kitchen.



There I was, in a kitchen covered in cream corn, with a hole in my wrist and needles in my butt, and a thought pounding in my head "Don't you ever admire anything. Don't you ever

find anything cute. Don't you ever dare to love"



You would expect me to wake up at this moment - and indeed I did wake up, in my warm bed, protected by a teddy bear (you may laugh at me here). Yet the same thought was still pounding

in my head, and since even loud music could not get it out, I had to go back to sleep with the very same idea.



"Don't you ever admire anything. Don't you ever find anything cute. Don't you ever dare to love"



I still like that spider. Going to paint him on my window glass =)