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nishwafirestill's Journal


nishwafirestill's Journal

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5 entries this month

 

no escape

02:08 Feb 08 2014
Times Read: 363


he has shown up,tare don't want him hear,go away she yells in her head,tare cant stop him since he owns the land beside her.tare wishes she could go and never return,she cant go she is stuck here around him tell she is 21,she stays and does not go outside but he comes in and looks at her,tare don't looks at him she stays looking at her face book, u will never get me back now matter how hard you try the wants to yell it but then it will hurt him, tare don't like to hurt people it hurts her knowing she has hurt others.she goes to her room,he takes the set she was sitting in *sighs* i cant get away from him nor will i be able to not see his pain, tare shuts her door so he cant see her and so tare cant see his pain she had caused,she cant bar the pain of seeing him,she puts on her wild one hat knowing it gives her bad luck and hurt,she has done been hurt today just from seeing his pain in his eyes,she try's to not think about it but it all comes back.telling him on face book,the phone and in person.it was cold outside and she stood outside of the drives side telling him it was over,he wanted a hugs but tare couldn't give him one she was upset as it was it would have made it worse if she gave him that huge. she turns and walks in,she thinks about what all he had done before him and tare started dating(killing a person right in his wife's lap,beating up people for nothing,he had wiped tare with a horse wipe for walking by him on her way to the bathroom,he was sweet and everything she just couldn't bar the pain of thinking if she was going to end up like the guy.she had to get out of it she had no chose but to,tare had to tell him 3 times before he would take that it was over between me and him,he asked her to get in the van so they can talk,tare stayed wear she was standing,he started to get out of the van,she backed up,she was starting to get the feeling like he was going to try and do something to her, she tells him she is cold and is going in.he slams the door and speeds off.tare walks back inside and sits down gets her a cig and smokes it,tare is shaking from the cold and the thought of him living beside her.


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the dream

01:27 Feb 08 2014
Times Read: 364


it was a cold stormy night tare didnt have no heat to keep her warm at night,tare walks in the woods alone, tare is scared of the dark,she didnt care at this point she had to go some where,tare seen a trail and tuck the trail,tare gets halfway in the trail when she hears something behind her,tare turns and looks , its a lion.tare turns and starts to run, the lion attacks tare,tare has no chance of taking this beast on by herself its to strong,tares about to give up and the beast just stopped and lays its head on her,tare looks around and sees a man, (long black wavy hair,light brown skin,brown eyes,animal clothes.) he walks up to her and smiles,you ok he askes ,he picks the beast up with one hand,tare looks at him,how did you do that when that thing ways a ton...tare askes him, he looks at her and says i am natunka.tare looks at him and says my name is tare,tare and natunka shakes hands. what brings you here on this path natunka asks tare,tare told him i was taking a short cut to a friends cabin she is on the other side of the woods.natunka looks behind him and then back at tare,the woods go forever they dont end natunka told tare. tare told him she would take her chance and then went around him and walks on,he follows behind her to make sure she will be ok.tare sees him following her and turns and walks a diff way ,he loses her, he yells out for her to watch out cuz he is in the woods and he is after you.tare didnt pay attention to him and walks farther in the woods,she cant see where shes going at all, she runs is to a man,the man grabs her,she yells for help,he covers he covers her mouth so she cant yell again,she fights to get free,she gets free and runs,he runs after tare and grabes her and knocks her out.meanwhile natunka is still looking for tare he hears a yell for help,he runs to find the wear the yell came from,he gets to wear the yell was and sees their has been a fight here,this is close to his family place,he runs to get his family to help find her.he gets to his home and sees some of his family gone mostly all the woman only the old and young are left behind,he gets mad and grabs his spire and runs after the guy.meanwhile tare is still be drug to the cabin,she starts to wake up and move, she sees him dragging her and yells for help again, he stops and hits her to get her to shut up,tare bites him and and gets away from his gripe, she hits him with a log and runs from him she dont know any thing about where she is. she keeps running and running she runs in to natunka. natunka looks at her and see her face,what happened to you,he got u didnt he.tare hears the bushes behind her and looks at natunka. natunka grabs tare and moves her behind him,she guy shows up. the guy sees tare with natunka and tells them you have been chosen to be with me no man can keep u from me not even this twig of a guy,natunka look back a tare and told her to cover her eyes not to watch, he runs after him and stabs him in the chest and kills him. natunka turns and looks at tare and moves her hands from her eyes, lets go he tells her, tare looks at the body and looks at natunka, she truns and starts to walk,wait were you going natunka asked tare. tare turns and tells him i dont know out of here away from here.natunka tell tare he knows a place far away from here,tare looks at natunka ill go she told him,natunka started to walking through the woods to his home,tare fallows him still looking back at the dead body,she runs into natunka she didnt know he stoped,natunka turns and looks at tare with a finger over his lips,tare looks around trying to see what he seen,she dont see anything,nothing at all.(the wind blows) tare fells someone with in the woods and wind,natunka turns and picks tare up and takes off running to his home.they gets to his home and tare sees theirs not many wamon their,she looks at him and looks back.natinka carrie's tare in the village and and puts her down,he walks to his chifes teepee and walks in,tare looks around she has dreamed of this place, theirs something about this place, she walks around looking, she see's him watching her wanting her,she looks and turns her head to see if natunka had came back out yet,he has not came out,tare turns to looks at the one in the woods,his their,he is drawing her to him,tare fights but cant keep from going,she yells for natunka,he comes running out and sees the man staring at tare ,he runs and grabs tare and holds her down,the mans power is to strong for him,he yells for the others to come and stop him,they run and gets the man he is still to strong for them only the chief can stop him, they holler for him he comes out and looks at the man,the man falls to his death,the chief looks at natunka (unatalla quya teas tare leata? the chief askes natunka,natunka looks at tare and says(unea te ya da latta tare sada tyal tatunka shutunaka.(is this the girl tare you told me about) ( yes this tare the chosen one) tare looks at them wondering what they are saying about her,she gets up and walks backwards. the chief asked tare(yuna teaea tare?)tare looks at natunka,he said were are you going tare natunka told tare.tare looks at the chief and tells him..im going to let you to talk alone.the chief looks at tare and says a ta meaning no stay.tare stays in her spot not moving unsure what to do.natunka looks at tare and smiles.(its night time) tare is asleep in natunkas teepee and he is asleep outside in front of it grading her. the chief has a vision that night about tare and natunka,he wakes up and starts to sing.tare hears him singing and walks out of the teepee to him.she sings with him,natunka wakes up from hearing tare sing Cherokee morning song, he pretends he is asleep so he dont make her stop,he smiles at her voice,he starts to sing with her,tare hears him and looks back and stops singing cuz of his voice.she looks at him and goes over to him and sits down,tare starts to sing with him,everyone whats up and the cheif stops singing and comes out of his teepee.tare and natunka dont see everyone they are looking in to one another's eyes singing to each other. she chief walks over to them and sits down and sings with them,every one walks over singing and sits down with the chief.they sing tell the sun is at its peek,the chief tells everyone his vision of tare and natunka,tare looks at natunka and says, i should have stayed away from you,i half to go so ur not in danger,tare gets up and starts to walk off,natunka gets up and grabs tare and tells her you will stay,i have seen you in my visons i had you are the one i am to take care of even if it means im in danger to, he looks down and back up, i also seen us as a family. tare looks at him she dont know what to say,shes speechless. she looks at him and at the others and back at him,tare sits down,natunka sits down beside her.its been a year since tare and natunka had met,they had gotten married and had a child


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he lives next door

01:20 Feb 08 2014
Times Read: 367


tare gets woken up,she lights her cig and looks at the camera's,he is outside working.tare hopes he will not try to come in since her mom and dad left today,she watches the camera and sings her morning song,tare lights a cig and starts to writ a story for her group,she is writing the story and hears a knock on the door,she looks at the camera and see it's him.tare sits still not making a sound,he yells i know u are in their tareva open up we need to talk,tare leaves the door closed still not making a sound she walks to the kitchen and gets a knife,she hears the back door open behind her,tare slowly turns and looks,it is a guy dark hair,green eyes,light brown skin,tare sees him and starts to run,she dont like this at all,she goes for the front door to open it,she opens it and see's danny their standing smiling,i see u have came back to me,tare looks back and yells NO YOU FUCKER,tare turns and runs to her room to brake the window,she gets grabbed and the knife taken away from her,she looks at see's its danny.he smiling as he takes me, tare fights to get free but hes to strong for her,tare hits him and bites him,he gets mad and hits her and knocks her out.she comes to hurting,she can barley move she is hurting to bad but she has to get up to call the cop's,tare try's to stand only to fall,tare cant walk so she drings her legs behind her,tare gets to the living room and looks around,he's still in the house danny sees tare and laugh at her and gets up and grabes her by her throught and makes her stand,he hits her with the back of a gun and points it at her,tare yells at him DO IT I AM READY TO GO JUST DO IT MAKE ME HAPPY YOU WILL GIVE ME THE ONE THING I WANT AND THAT IS TO GET AWAY FROM YOU tare spits at him,he puts his finger on the triger and starts to pull it,the door opens and he goes flying across the room, tare falls to the floor,she gets picked up and carried out of the house,tare looks around she is in the air nothing is holding her up,she hears singing and drums its native American's,tare looks and see's that her yard is full of native Americans,tare smiles and passes out.tare wakes up in a teepee,she see's the one that has been in her dreams her visions,he looks at tare and smiles,yahanna taha tare(you ok tare) he asks tare,tare looks at him and says ilya teha a leya,*im scared but im fine),he tells tare his name is natunka(eyo anke tala natunka)tare tells him her name(eyo anke tala tare)he looks at her and gets up and walks out of the teepee.tare lay's back down and try's to move her legs they move,tare gets up and try's to walk she barely walk,tare walks out of the teepee and looks around its snowy out side.tare walks to the creek and gets a drink,she hears something behind her,she turns at looks its natunka with a horse,tare stands and looks at him,he picks her up and puts her on the horse and gets on himself.he takes makes the horse take off through the creek,we get to an open field and stop,he looks back at me and says(tutunka) tare looks around and sees the buffalo,tare smiles and says(eylo tutunka)he gets down and lowers himself to the ground and walks up to one and kills it,he offers mother earth some of his hair and thanks her for the food she has given us today,he walks back over to the horse and grabs his knife and walks back over to the buffalo and looks at me and smiles,he cuts the heart out and walks over to me and hands it to me (una) tare looks at him and says(una)!!!!.natunka looks at tare and takes the heart and takes a bite of it (una tare),tare looks at him and gets the heart and takes a bite of it,he smiles and helps tare down and over to the buffalo(kinel da tutunka) she looks at the buffalo and skins it for him,he walks around watching for other Indians,tare gets done and takes the meat to the horse, he sees her and follows her,he gets to the horse and helps tare put the meat on the horse,he picks tare up and puts her on the horse and leads the horse home.tare looks at him walking,she thinks to herself how hot he looks with his ass barely showing. he looks back and see's tare checking him out and smiles,tare see's him smiling and turns red.on the way home they run into some wights the start shooting at them.one of them shoots tare,natunka gets on the horse and holds tare in his arms and makes the horse run fast back home.

they get home and tare is bleeding very bad,natunka jumps off the horse while it is still running and stops the horse and grabes tare and takes her to his teepee and runs and gets the chief and tells him wights are a few miles away they had shot tare,the chief runs and gets their medican man and runs to tare and holds her head and starts singing, the medican man walks in and sits down beside tare and starts to sing and gets the built out of her,natunka and some men left to get the wights,tare askes for natunka,the chief tells her he has left and sings again.they get the built out of tare,natunka comes back and walks in the teepee and see's tare almost on her death bed,he walks over to her and sings, tare see's natunka and smiles and closes her eyes.natunka looks at tare and holds her hand and says to her(e leva y,tuna ano ter) and starts to sing again,tare barely opens her eyes and says (e leva y an),tare colses her eye's,natunka looks at her and sings louder,her hands are ice cold he covers her up.the chief and the medison man walks out of the teepee,natunka sits holding ares hand.its night time,he lays down holding tare's hand and falls asleep beside her.he wakes up from laying next to a cold body,he look and checks tare out,he runs out of the teepee and gets a blanket and walks back in the teepee and covers tare up in it and sings,tears come in his eyes while he sings.he sings loud,the chief wakes up and comes in natinka's teepee and see's tare had pasted away,he has a vison of the wights taken over their home lands and killing some of them.the chief tells natunka(tare ona tason uno) natunka looks up at him and thinks she was a chosen one,he looks up and ask's what does it mean know that she is gone,the chief tells natunka it means the wights can take over now.


COMMENTS

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gone but shall remain in heart

00:47 Feb 08 2014
Times Read: 368


tare gets to school and meets mon they do the thing everyday before they eats or go to class.tare and mon walks to the bathroom and looks to make sure no body was in their with them their was no one in the bathroom.mon and tare smiles and pulls out their knife they both smile and closes their eyes and but the knife on their wrisk they cut.tare hears mon moans out in pain she opens her eyes and sees she had cut to deep and trys to stop the bleeding but nothing was helping.tare is covered in blood and she told mon she had to get help,mon told tare no to stay not to leave.tare dont know what to do but to get help,tare looks at mon."sis i half to get help for you plz let me get the help you need"tare says to mon.mon looks at tare and sits down."go then go get the help"mon tells tare.tare runs out of the bathroom and around the school trying to find someone to help.a teacher miss cindy sees tare and runs up to her."tare what happened were did this blood come from and why is there cuts on ur arms?" miss cindy asks.tare looks up and tells her what happened,tare turns and runs to the bathroom to show miss cindy on the way other teachers sees and runs after us.we get to the bathroom and i run in and see her.all the blood she wight,she is covered in blood,she is laying on the floor in her blood.tare runs to to mon and trys to holds her when miss cindy pulls tare back and hinds her to the other teachers so i can not get to mon.tare fights and screams trying to get them to let her go so she can be with mon."she is my friend she is like a sis to me let me go so i can be with her" tare screams to the teachers .miss cindy tells them to get me out of the bathroom.they try to get tare out but she holds on to the falls and gets free from them.tare runs and falls next to mon and picks her up holding her in her arms when miss cindy told the other teachers to get more teachers cuz tare is not going to leave mon. the other teachers leave and runs to get the others. miss cindy starts to move tare when tare yelled at her"DONT TOUCH ME YOU WAS NOT THEIR WHEN I NEEDED YOU YOU WAS OUT SMOKING I HAD TO RUN AROUND THE SCHOOL JUST TO FIND ONE TEACHER NOW DONT TOUCH ME" miss cindy steps back and waits for the others to come back.tare hold mon in her arms and cry's,you promised me mon you promisd.the teachers return and walks in the bathroom.they walk over to me as im holding mon in my arms.they grab me and pulls me away from mon i try to fight them put they grab my arms and legs so i cant get back to her.they take me out of the bathroom and takes me down the hall.the other kids see me and starts talking.tare yells at them to shut up its not funny how would you feel.the teachers takes me to a room and stays in their with me do i cant get to mon.tare try's to get back to her but the teachers hold her back.the teachers hold tare as the others get mon out of the school.tare gets out of the room and runs to the bathroom and sees her gone only the blood is still their-tare sits down and cry's. the kids come in the bathroom and starts picking on tare calling her a killer and saying she should have went with her.tare holds her knees to her chest as she thinks out being with mon.the teachers come in and picks tare up and takes her to the office so she can talk to the cops.she tells them everything and the cops take her and puts her in a hospital for a week.tare gets out and cuts hiding the cuts everyday she gos to school.tare sits alone in the corner talking all the bullies as the pick on her.tare looks puts her hood over her head and try's to block them out when one of the femals starts to kick her.they drag her to the bathroom and beats her up cuting her arms.tare just takes it and when they leave she covers them up and goes to class.tell this day tare gets hurt by the one word..... the one word that brings it all back,the word that hurts tare all over,the word that make the images come back,the word that makes tare think of her,the word that i tryed to stop but could not,the word that hurts tare,the word that every one says,that word is DIE and talking about offing them self.


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R.I.P mon

00:43 Feb 08 2014
Times Read: 370


she looks up and finds her friend watching her telling her it will be ok.she tears fall from her eyes from seeing her friend again after after for years her friend comes to her and tells her everything will be ok.tare's friend looks her in the eyes and starts to sing fallen.that was a song they song together and made a dance to.tare finds the song and listens to it.tears keep falling as tare sings the song. mon this is for you R.I.P mon you will always be in my heart,you will always be the one i think of when i listen to the song,you will be the one and the only one who made a dance with me to this song,you was my best friend/sis that i had you was the one who helped me find a way to deal with the bullies,you was the one whom tols me not to do it to deep,you was the one whom showed me how to do it,from that day when u showed me me and u made a promise we would do it everyday even if we was not in school,you sent me pics of ur arm and i sent you mine.we was the two that everyone hated cuz we was diff we block was goth/emo they made us that way when i moved back to the school you was the only one that made me fell welcome again,you was the one that helped me out when i needed it,you was the one that had one when i left mine at home you was the one that helped me on the bus going and coming from school everyday me and you would have a new scare. you was the one that gave me a place when i ran away from home,you was the one that gave me clean clothes when i had ran away,you was the one that helped me when i had been raped you helped me get through it,you helped me so much its hard for me to think about you being gone,you was my first kiss you was the one i loved,you helped me when i was down,you showed me a whole new world that could be lived.-looks up as tears fall from my eyes- mon i cant stop looking at them it keeps me from doing it to deep you didnt half to do it cuz i was stupid and almost died for cutting deeper then i havd been doing.you was the one whom told me about the brother i had and i didnt know about,you was the one who told me/showed me the new life i could live.what im trying to say and it is hard on me but i half to do this even if it means i lose you for ever........R.I.P my dear friend/sis.this is one of the songs we had cut to when i was at ur place this was the song that was playing the day ur passed this will be the song that plays all the time.


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