The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

these 5 days are going to be the most borin days of my life seeing as how i cant do nothing or go anywhere, its doing my head in plus cause i have to lay on my back all the time thats starting to hurt aswell which aint good at all



id rather be in work right now i think, there is nothing to do



and this site is so slow during the day it keeps messing up so i cant go on here without something going wrong, its really annoying.



i got 3 days left now, god i hope they go quickly.

well what an evening ive had, been in hospital, had stitches in my leg cause i mis judged when practicing with my knife and so i kind of sliced a bit of my upper leg lol, what fun.



and now i got to stay home for 5 days till i can get these stitches out, so no work which im actually gutted bout and no swansea which im really gutted bout but come satuarday if im up to it im going to swansea, stitches in or out i sud be nearly all healed by then.

back to feeling lost again, been thinking all day bout who i am and i still dont have an answer, i need to know who i am cause right now this is not a good feeling at all, feels like my eh well forgive the saying but it feels like my soul has gone, if i ever had one to begin with, just seems so pointless now and i dont even know why.

you know sometimes i just wish that i did drugs or even drank loads cause it wud be an easy escape, i dont think i cud ever even try drugs but i cud work on the drinking part though i wud probably end up hating myself i dont think id care much cause i wud be away, whats left of my mind wud just fade away.



i dont know who i am and i dont know why im here, i thought that these feelings had disappeared but they are still there, they never went away i just thought that i cud suppress them, i really do feel like just crying now but if i did i dont think i cud stop myself.



i just want to know who or what i am, i feel so lost and confused.

i feel like shit, i have one hell of a cold my head is pounding and every bone in my body aches, this better go away soon cause i dont think i can take one more day like this, dont even feel like going to work today.



been going into town more now on the train on the weekends, its been great met some cool people and made more friends but cause of the rugby the train is always packed and the trip home is a nightmare, the second time i went i ended up missing the last train home cause of the rugby, stupid game.



oh well lets hope i get better soon cause i feel like just sleeping and never waking up.