The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Here are some great jack-o-lantern ideas I snagged from the web. See...they are not just for pie anymore.

... TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the morning after.

1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.



Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner's warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.



"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once." "Ex- Lax won't cure a cough!" the owner shouted angrily.



"Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough."