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here is what i believe

we are the product of the choices we make

we all have a trail head and a trail end that are definate

but how we get there is up to us

will we learn and grow from our experiences no matter how bad or hard

will we take the shortcuts and learn nothing

i think alot about Robert Frost

through my life

i know i was meant to come to be where i am

in this time and place, with who i am with and who i am

and i took the hardest possible route to get here just in time

i learned everything i needed to learn to be what my Master needed right now

becuase i was born for Him

i will never be as consumed by those who dislike me as i am by them...it’s flattering though to have someone think so much about little old me putting so much effort into keeping tabs on me concerning themselves with my every move.

ah it makes a person feel all warm and gushy inside hehehe.



hugs and kisses to the ones who expend so much energy on me when i never even think about you anymore.

my world has moved on, continued to spin.

i hope yours will start back up soon...gravity and atmosphere and such.







LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

(originally posted by me July 26, 2007)



I have always been the kind of person who stood up for what I believed in even if I got in trouble.

Well known in some places for my big mouth, bad attitude, opinions, and my keen ability to hold onto a cause or grudge with the intensity of a pitbull who has tasted blood.



In highschool I was the person who blended into the crowd, everyone knew me but no one really knew me.I was respected though, later on the streets in Cali

I was the gutterpunk with long hair who told my friends to go f*ck themselves when they called me a conformist because I got a job.

The smelly, mohawked, tattooed, body pierced gutterpunks called me a conformist after considering me one of their own with long hair, pierced ears,

no tats and a leather jacket.

Who was the conformist? not me.

I've raised my kids to believe rules are stupid.

The only rules I feel are of importance are my own ethical code and common sense.

If a person doesn't understand by the age of 5 without there being a law that

it's wrong to rape, murder and rob people they have a f*ckin problem.

I believe when people can't get justice the legal way they have to take matters into their hands no matter what the cost. Sometimes it's the only way when justice no longer serves the victim but cares more about the rights

of the criminals.

My mother used to say " if you're looking for sympathy it's in the dictionary, right between sh*t and syphallis".

A couple a my favorite quotes:



"I live in a world of shit"~Private Pyle (Full Metal Jacket)



"How sexy am I now F*cker?!"~Mallory Knox



"You still like me now, Jack."~Mallory Knox

(Natural Born Killers)



"Never run from anything immortal, It attracts their attention"~The Last Unicorn.

Is it possible for a person to feel more alone than they already are? In a roomful of people I feel like the one person seeing a heinous crime and noone can hear me. I am so diconnected from everyone. I wish I was as hopeful as everyone else, but a part of me says that will never happen. Is it sick or sad to spend a lifetime wishing you were crazy? Because I have. It's only recently that peices of a very big puzzle have started fitting togethor and now I'm more alone than ever. Dreams, Poetry, art all signs symbols. Indicators of what was, what is, and what will be. Back to square one. No escape.

the coming week marks the beginning of a series of milestone anniversaries. all from the same year and all change for the better! so what better way to observe them than continued change? over the next few days i will be adding more photos, more OLD journal entries and poetry as i dissolve the myspace profile with which i was truly able to embark on my voyage of self discovery. i will be working on this until Saturday as well as adding more graphics to my uncluttered profile and possibly editing to add a little richness of character. that people veiwing this may better get to know me.

Sometimes as people live their lives they create an image of themselves, It serves a purpose helps them fit in. In a world where alot of us DON’T fit. I’m dropping the curtain a little. Most of my life since I became someones mother anyway I have lived by a code; keep up appearances let noone see in. The truth I have a darker side and I have secrets. I am a person waiting for Armegeddon. Something to solve my problems, something to solve all problems. I yearn for the end of civilization as we know it, a clean slate on which to create a whole new world. I’m tired of the endless battles, growing commercialism and sympathy toward criminals, predators while the victims are persecuted. I long to be the vigilanty, fighting back the evil destroying the villians who live to a ripe old age off of money that I earn. Yet......................I am afraid to walk away even when someone holds the door and says "go". I have to be pushed. I don’t know why the excuses are endless and I’ve used them all. Sometimes I hate me I created my prison, the key is in my pocket and...................I’m afraid

Everything happens for a reason even if you never find out what. Life is a learning experience. Events are not always within our control and we can be the one thing that leads to a miracle for someone else. By being in "the wrong place at the wrong time" can mean that you stopped a chain reaction. Sometimes we are meant to take the ball in the face or have our car totalled by a hit and run driver. Ducking or avoiding can lead to something worse for someone else. Everyone at one time has wished the could go back and do things different, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Turning left instead have right could have made things go so much differently and sometimes what goes a little bad for one me goes really well for someone else. Never look back.

in an effort to keep occupied i am reposting here things from my blogs on other sites. not daily stuff but the things which were either creative or in my eyes profound.

it has been an illuminating and tiring day. i am looking forward to actually checking out the forums if i have time tomorrow*yawn*.

i have been bitten by an absolute stranger. i wonder is that common practice? what ettiquette is involved with biting a person? it seems one would at least say "hello, would you like a bite". of course i am fooling, it's all in fun.

COMMENTS

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Jens
04:02 Aug 28 2009

I have come to understand that in the vampire world, biting someone is in part a method of saying hello. It is somewhat implied in meaning that one is worthy to bite as opposed to unworthy. So being bitten to me, means I am accepted. Sort of like a handshake with one's mouth. :)



I have a theory, not all that pleasant, that it could also be like a dog marks its teritory with urine, the vampire marks theirs with saliva. LOL

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moonkissed
12:53 Aug 28 2009

My friend Garni made a made back stamp that I have used on occasion. I used to respond with "ouch you bit me! Got a band aid?". Now I just say hello.

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so i am starting this profile and i would like to dress it some. graphics and uploads beyond the cuddly, everyday vampire gothics. fact is some of my tastes as i said are ?peculiar?

i have a few roadkill photos that i have taken myself for example. i have also happened upon photos(post mortem as it were)of Jack the Rippers victims. what constitutes abuse exactly? kids these days watch horror movies and keep up on current events. current events being the bloodier of the two. how far may i go?

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birra
14:21 Oct 23 2008

Just as a suggestion, you might want to keep the gorry pictures in your journal. Plenty of curious readers will peruse them.



Keep your profile to what it is... about you. To me, a profile that actually gives some insight into the person who made it is an excellent profile.

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