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Tonight tis just not a good night. my girlfriend called while i was away and left a message...she is so depressed and it worries me. this place is what calms me down now. it is wonderful i can truely be who i am and not hide. it is bringing who i really am out again and i have decided that that is the only way i will get through all this shit right now is i go back to just being me and not try to hide it anymore.

I miss Sierra so much right now it is going to drive me to feed which i haven't done in a few months ayway so this just isn't helping. nobody is on right now that i talk to so i have no one here which is why i am writing. i've never written a journal entry online but i figure that if anyone can read this than they were meant to.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no one and i can feel her pain. it hurts so bad i just want to be there to hold her cuz i know that's what she needs right now. just to lay next to her, hold her and fall asleep with her in my arms. that is my dream and goal right now. she is the reason i still go to school... if i can prove myself i might be able to get out of foster sooner and be with her once again. she's what i live for, she's my life my love...my Queen.



Sincerely, mixedblood