The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

THE ADDICT
22:58 Aug 08 2005
Times Read: 537






The windows are covered

I hear a knock at the door

I just zipped up the baggie

You can’t have any more!

I knew someone was watching.

Spying on me today

They are always outside waiting

Am I going to jail? No way!

Yesterday is my today

Ive been up for days and weeks

Food is nothing special

I can’t even eat

Ive lost 20 pounds or so

It’s only been a few weeks

I needed to diet anyway

I was looking like such a lump

People at work don’t know I use

Hell, it’s only enough to get by

I sneak off in the bathroom

Sometimes I even cry

I used to have a home

Now I live on the street

I’m trying to get my car fixed

I sold my engine for money last week

The phone rings off the hook

It’s that dealer again

He’s got an ounce of goodies

Dam I want some too

Id give anything to score a batch

Then sell it to have my own.

Id have drugs at my beck and call

Yet, I have no freaking home?

What happened to my friends from school?

Did they give up on me so soon?

Oh, I didn’t call them

No wonder I’m alone in this room

I don’t know why I do this

It calls my name each day

The meth monster loves me

At least someone does I pray

I sit upon the bathroom counter

Eight hours-yes while doing lines

I’m completely in the zone

It doesn’t matter where I am

I can do drugs anywhere

No one ever notices

No one ever cares

Ive given up myself

The police would rather put me in jail

Than give me desperate help

I called one day for a bed date

Down at the counciling center

As always the wait was six months away

What do u think I am, a mentor?

How the hell can I wait that long?

I know that ill still be high

Doing drugs-getting by

This horror of my life

Each day goes by and I have no idea

If the next day will come

I am simply not myself

What have I become?

I used to care about my dreams

I used to be able to love

But nothing means more to me now

Except my next baggie of drugs

I see in the mirror

What I used to despise

Obsessive compulsion has embedded itself

In the core of my gut it seems

I constantly move

I can’t stop talking

Paranoia and hallucinations

They both live inside my head

They are my voice

I see visions in my head

Last week I got some cocaine

It made up for the meth I couldn’t find

If it’s not one drug its another

I do that all the time

I’m depressed at times

I know I am

My friend meth has many names

But she’s all one thing to me

Meth is the destruction of my core

This person I have to be

I can’t get away

Ive tried before

They say I have to hit rock bottom

But what the hell am I living in now?

A mansion? I think not

This is rotten

Chasing the dragon

Smoke so soothing

Rotting my lungs away

Teeth r rotting

I can’t afford a dentist

Would I go anyway?

I remember once I had great goals

Although what they were is a secret to me

Ive all but forgotten the life and mind I had

Some people would say I have chosen this life

But I so badly beg to differ

I wish I was clean

I wish I didn’t need her so bad

I wish I could break free from this pattern

It’s hard when nothing seems to matter

Life is so disgusting at times

So much pain and grief out there

I guess living with myself

It’s my way

My burden

Life of an addict isn’t that great

No life, No home, No fun

This isn’t what I wanted to become

I’m slowly dying

If not already

All I wanted was to be a great person

I hate it

I hate life

I hate me.

ADDICTION
23:02 Aug 04 2005
Times Read: 547




Why Can't I stop? How come I'm so weak?

My whole life evolves around me wanting to tweek.

I know what it does to me, I know what it causes,

I sit there and smoke it and my heart and brain pauses.

Right when I smoke it, or get a straw to do a line, it enters my system

and makes me feel divine.

My heart starts to beat about a thousand times faster.

My mouth feels as if it has a coating of plaster.

This life brings me so much agony and pain.

It takes a hold of me heavy as a ball and chain.

So why do I continue? I just keep on going, My life away I'm throwing,

my problems just keep growing.

I guess that I"ll learn from the mistakes that I make.

I guess I'll pay for them with each breath that I take.

Each time I Smoke Shit it draws closer to the end,

and I'll die sad and lonely with addiction my only friend.

I know I Promised...
22:54 Aug 04 2005
Times Read: 548




I know I promised you this time I was done,

not even 2 days later, I was on another dope run.

I wish you guys could just sit and see,

how this drug has total power over me.

I hope you guys understand,

I never wanted to be the way that I am.

I pray that one day I'll be set free,

from this drug that won't let me be me.

I don't think anyone will be able to make me stop,

not even the fucking cops.

When I got married, the pastor should of said:

"Do you take crystal meth, until you are dead."

Why Girls Don't Pee Alone
22:50 Aug 04 2005
Times Read: 549




Hiding in the bathroom, smoking our secret stash.

Pass the pipe back and forth; together we gossip and laugh.

You're talking nonstop and trying to do your hair.

I decide to tweeze my brows; we're quite a crazy pair!

Pack it again -- oops! I can't believe I spilled!

On our hands and knees; the pipe must be filled.

Shh! Quiet with that Bic. Do you think the others hear?

Do they know what we're doing? Are they listening at the door?

Finally we emerge, although I could barely tear

Myself from my bleeding brows or you from your hair.

Sitting in a huddle, Matt is playing with wires.

Rob is fixing something again with string, tape and pliers.

David is still working on his plastic tina bong.

Glue gun in hand he says,"Now it won't be too long."

Hours and hours later the bong still isn't done,

But you and I don't mind; we‚ve been having too much fun

Drawing pages of butterflies with pretty glitter pens

And making pointless lists that never seem to end.

Finally David is finished and the bong can be passed

After adding some large shards. Man, an eight-ball sure goes fast!

Suck in the smoke and then glance around.

If no one's looking, sneak a second and breathe out a huge cloud.

Back to our projects, but your eyes begin to twinkle.

A wink and we both head to the toilet to "tinkle."

This time two lines, but turn the water on

To hide any sounds. Sniff and snort -- they're quickly gone.

It's Saturday night; why not clubs, dancing or drinking?

Because we'd rather sit till the sun comes up, tweeking and stinking!

THE DOPE'S SIDE #3
22:38 Aug 04 2005
Times Read: 550




Hello, my friends, I have arrived, to talk to you alone,

If you're really smart, you'll not allow me in your home.

I'll tell you I'm the final friend that you'll meet here today,

so just sit back and listen to what I have to say.

If you really like me, and most people will agree,

you'll find out that I'm not cheap, nothing is for free.

I'll charge you for my friendship, though my friendship is not real.

But you will choose to keep me around because of how I make you feel.

At first I'll bring into your life all that makes you feel just great

but by the time I'm done with you, it may be way to late.

I am made of household things, though it takes a little while.

But when I'm done I'm sure you'll think that I'm well worth the while.

Before I tell you more of me, do you have a piece of glass?

This is where I like to lie, before I kick your ass.

Some people like to burn me, they say they like the smell.

The feelings that I'll make you feel, will make you wish I'd go to hell.

It takes a while for most to see the destruction that I do,

but only one can stop me, and that person would be you.

And if you think I'll go away like an empty bag,

think again, you'll use me until you feel like an old rag.

First I want to take from you, all that you've worked for,

even then I don't believe that I'll have evened up the score.

The points will be on my side, my plan will not be foiled,

you users use me, until you're really spoiled.

I'll take more than you have got, as you look around you'll see.

Your home, your life, your very soul still I won't set you free.

Once I have taken all that you've got, I'm not finished yet, you see.

I'll take the ones that you love most, even they won't run from me.

You'll be lucky if you are left with a roof above your head.

You see I might just stick around until I see you dead.

And if all the things I take from you don't mean enough to you to know,

I'll stay with you forever, until you can't make me go.

I have not a soul or a heart, at times I'm cold as ice.

You'd be REALLY stupid to think I might be nice.

So, you see you're not immune to all I have to give.

And if you don't abuse me, I might just let you live.

But, by the time I'm finished, YOU'LL have wished upon ME death,

and on my lonely tombstone, just put my name is "Meth"

My Heart
22:23 Aug 04 2005
Times Read: 551




My heart beating, fed by an

Elusive illusion of happiness;

Which, being temporary, is still

More than I know, enough

To deceive my soul.

All the while my brain is

Screaming, flailing like a

dying fish.

Rotting from within the empty

cavern digested itself in anticipation

of a simple transmission

of energy, of life that cannot live

unless chemically charged.

The suffocating fish, confused,

hides behind the curtain

draped across my eyes.

I cannot see the vast damage.

Reality crumbling ∑ With a flick

Of a light, pain dissipates;

relaxes as a thick fog of deception

carefully breezes by;

satiating the cavern with a dim glow.